Yesterday was my h's birthday, he is in AZ I am in VA, in my previous post I talked about us starting over him coming here, but last week when he was suppose to visit something came up he had to handle he said it was court, I have confirmed with the court he didnt have an appt. and he wont fess up. Told him just tell me the truth and I won't be mad but he is sticking to his story. I have tried to plan A but after the lies after lies it is hard. I did send him a email birthday card and even though my head and heart were fighting I called last night and he answered his phone and wished him Happy Birthday he was sad cause his 10 and 8 yo hadn't called him, his Dad hadn't called him and none of his friends. I said well why dont you get on the computer and play Everquest with me or chat with me on the webcam and he was like well Mom is on the pc I will try. I had my 7 yo son call and wish him HB too. So in the end we ended up fighting cause well he called me and said he was going out with to his friends house and I said I was disappointed and why didnt he wait til his Mom got of the computer and he said he wanted to just go out cause he was depressed about his bday. I just got mad you know. Constantly I feel rejected and lied to and just tired of putting forth the effort when I know I am being lied to and whatever else. He can't just say it is over and move on with him being in AZ he just wants to keep me I feel in case he has a person to come to when things get hard. I love him with all of my heart and it is very hard right now for me not to call or email and apoligie which I know I will about arguing with him on his birthday. I don't know if I should just skip to plan B or start all over with plan A even with him doing this to me.

He just called me this morning it is 7am there. He told me he wanted to call and let me know how pissed off I was for calliing and hanging up on him over and over. I told him that there was something wrong with my phone or his cause everytime I called the phone would be dead on the other end. I of course he didnt believe me. He said he was gonna go back to sleep I asked why did he call me and he said well I was pissed off that I did that and he woke up and wanted to call me and tell me. I did email and apoligized for fighting with him last night and my plans of moving out of my parents house and on my own that I needed to move forward with my life and my have a new position opening up at work which would give me the money that I could totally make it on my own. My prediction is that when I get that place might get serious about coming but I will just feel used at that point.