Pepperband, would it be possible for me to email you privately with the details of my current situation? Would you be willing to give me ongoing support here for a while regarding my own path (with no details here of current marriage situation or details of h)?

The reason I am asking you is because I have read many of your posts over the past three years and I believe that you have the mix of knowledge, experience, self-improvement, and gentle leading or kick in the [censored] (whichever is necessary at that time) that can help me stay focused on my own path even though certain things must be taken into consideration at the same time.

I have been advised by Steve Harley of what to do regarding h (in a situation where he agrees that Plan B is not an option). The support I'm asking you for is for my personal journey, regardless of what happens with h.

Pepper, before you start considering this, I think you should know two things. One is who I am--I used to be YetAgain before I changed my name (same member #). Two, Faith4me and I had (!)/have(?) a lot in common. I'm not sure if what I'm asking is something you would be able to do, but thank you for considering it.

Sincerely,
LovingBoundaries

P.S. I'm liking setting boundaries a lot more than I used to, but I still have a long way to go with enforcing boundaries lovingly.

LovingBoundaries (dear me, abbreviating that would be LB?!?!),

I'm not Pepperband, and I do hope she'll be interested in helping you.

My question is about the whole Plan B deal. Have you gotten a second opinion on that? I can't think of a situation where Plan B would be completely out of the question, though I can certainly think of situations where it would require courage and strength to make it happen.... but then again, that applies to ALL our situations.

Hi Just J,

I like 2Long's idea for abbreviating it $LB <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I'm sorry but I cannot be specific in answering your question about the Plan B deal. Thanks for asking if I've gotten a second opinion (in case I hadn't).

Like you, I didn't think there was a situation where Plan B would be out of the question. It won't always be out of the question, but for now it still is. Steve Harley agrees. He said he felt bad for me, and he sounded like he really did--and for some reason that made me feel better <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

After certain things have been determined and other things have come to pass, I will be able to be more specific. It will be a while so don't hold your breath ok? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I hope to hear from you again Just J.

Take care.

Just to let you know, Pepperband is away from computer access for a while. She probably won't see this.

$LB is a little better, anyway!

I'm sorry to hear you can't get into Plan B. My only other suggestion would be to contact Penny Tupy -- she's incredibly creative, and might well have some thoughts for you.

I do hope to hear more about your situation when you're able to share it. And I'm far from the one to judge whether Plan B is possible or not -- I knew what I'd have to give up in order to do Plan B (my daughter), and chose not to implement it for a very long time. Even now, as my "best shot" at Plan B comes to a close, I know that it was far from perfect and far from the level of protection that I could have had with a little more support and a little more courage of my own.

So I understand, and I understand the regrets and doubts that may sometimes plague you. All you can do is the best that you can figure out in any given moment, at any given time. More than that is not for mere mortals to attempt.

Susan..
if you are in touch send her and her family our thoughts and prayers....


oh yeah hope you and your are well also... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

ARK

Susan

Echoing Ark...if you have contact with Pepper, please give her my best, and tell her that she and her family are in my prayers.

TA