I have a huge question on my mind and want some feedback on your intake.
If a husband and wife generally are incompatible in the sex area due to her not fully unerdstanding in need foe sex and he not fully understanding her need for affection thus causing a vicious circle of not complying so to speak,then why is the sex WS and the OP seem so compatible? It still comes down to a man and woman,he needs sex,she needs affection.Does the incompatibility come when the "secret get togethers" are able to be not secret anymore? In other words when plan B is in effect does that take something away from the bond the A had? gosh i sound like i have been thinking tooo long.Would like to hear some input on this please.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by littlelady29720:
<strong>In other words when plan B is in effect does that take something away from the bond the A had? gosh i sound like i have been thinking tooo long.Would like to hear some input on this please. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is why it's so important to do a thorough Plan A before you go into Plan B. If you haven't done a good Plan A and shown them that you CAN and WILL meet their needs, you give them nothing to miss, which only increases the chances of divorce.

written by Harley:

What are Plan A and Plan B?


"While I have seen remarkable success by people using plan A and plan B, success is by no means guaranteed. The problem with Plan B is that the unfaithful spouse may not return, nor agree to the plan for recovery, even after the affair has ended. Separation in marriage is always risky because, "out of sight, out of mind." Unless plan A leaves the wayward s pouse with the impression that returning home is an attractive choice, separation can become permanent. So before implementing plan B, you want to be sure that the last thing your spouse remembers about you is the care and thoughtfulness you offered in plan A. That way, the separation can help create, "absence makes the heart grow fonder."
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html

I am absolutely no expert here and usually don't like to respond for fear I'll give poor information but after having just finished SAA and after many conversations w/ WH I think that it's like starting to date someone. My H's cell phone bill had a gazillion hours to OW. Since my H is not one to talk a lot I asked what they talked about and he said, "We would usually just 'bullsh**"...the whole 'getting to know one another' that you do when you first start dating someone. So, in a sense, her needs are being met and if my H had given me that attention rather than her I'm sure there would have been more SF going on in my house.


The 'incompatibility' comes when they have to add 'real life' into the equation. I had a good laugh the other day when my 2 yr old came up to me with a diaper in his hand and said, "Mommy, I got a poop." Imagining OW handling that situation just made me break out into laughter. She and my H would never have survived together in the 'real world'.

Like MelodyLane said, I think it's about starting with a good Plan A so that when you enter Plan B and 'fantasy land' begins to fade the WS sees what he/she is missing and begins to realize that home is not such a bad place after all.

We never had a decent chance to do a good plan A but whenever I see him I plan on still plan A'ing him. I guess we are in plan B. I told him Friday as long as he was seeing her I wanted NC with him,that I loved him and wanted our marriage to work out and I loved him enough to let him go if that is what he really wanted.Other than letting me know what he decides there should be NC between us as long as she was in the picture.I hope that he will call after awhile but if he does not than I am better off any way.I need to take care of me and that's what I'm going to do.