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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 111
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Member
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 111 |
I am completely at a lost as to what to do next in my marriage. My husband told me three nights ago that he was ready to give up our marriage. This took me completely blindsided. Well, sort of. I knew he had become friends with a woman at work and spent a lot of time talking with her. I even told him that she would become attached to him if he continued to listen to her problems. Well, she is the reason he was ready to give up. After my explosion and his family telling him its the biggest mistake he could ever make, he told me he would do anything to keep his family. I told him he could not have contact with her. He said okay, even let me call her and voice this to her. He assures me that nothing physical has gone on. For some crazy reason I believe him. My concern is that he has acted really somber since we decided to work things out. Is this because he regrets giving her up or regrets hurting his family the way he did? How do I know and where do we go from here? Any advice would be appreciated.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 709
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 709 |
How can he has no contact with a person he is still working with? You must be very very sure that there is no contact. No contact means no contact. What percussion has he come up with to avoid contact with this other woman?
Don't fall into the trap of false recovery. I did. It took 3 times of false recovery before i realised how deep in the EA my WH is.
You have to watch his reaction. If he is angry when you snoop or ask questions then you should be worried. Less affection and the far away look is also a bad sign.
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 111
Member
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Member
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 111 |
He doesn't work in the same area exactly. His contact with her was coming after work and when he went to her building. He has said he would stay away from her. He seems genuine. He even dialed her phone number for me to express myself to her. Do I shower him with love or back off until things seem worked out?
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 709
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 709 |
By all means...shower him with love..read all the articles in this site...it is very helpful. Get the books too if you can...especially his needs her needs. You need to find out what it is that lead him to the affair in first place. What was missing in your marriage and fix it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
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