Wow! WH came over today, and told me so much stuff! I am hopeful again.

He has been feeling everything that we get so frustrated WS's don't feel. He has been feeling remorse, like he made a mistake, like he still loves me and we are meant for each other.

He still has doubts, which is why he will not come home. But he has those thoughts about me each day now.

He is also beginning to realize that the OW is the reason he left. He convinced her and himself that he left because of "other marital issues." But the more we discuss these issues at MC, the more he realizes that they aren't as bad as he thought they were. He said it scares him, because he is running out of issues to blame his leaving on.

He doesn't think OW will talk to him anymore once he is honest with her about that. The only reason she still talked to him was because she thought their A was a by-product of his unhappiness (she was my "best friend"). Now he is starting to think it is the other way around. I personally think OW knows this, it is just easier on her conscience to believe him.

Anyway, he basically told me he is still messed up, but to not lose hope. That I am probably right, and he will eventually come to his senses and come back home. He said he actually sees a time now when he might ask me to offer him coming home again.

I think he almost kissed me, too. But I kind-of looked down. I didn't want him to feel pressured. I want him to know for sure.

Anyway, I'll keep you posted. I refuse to post on Recovery, because each time I do, something bad happens. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

SS

<small>[ March 23, 2004, 07:17 PM: Message edited by: Spider Slayer ]</small>

Oh yeah, he also was trying to think of an excuse to invite me to lunch with him and our boys today. He misses me so much.

My heart is warm. Have hope, everyone. On Friday he said he wanted to D me!

SS

Spider:

I just read your breakthrough post. I too think you have reasons to have hope. The OW may fight for him so be prepared. Once my former WW start seeing flaws in her former BF, it was the beginning for us to have a renewed marriage. She now even says she feels "some" remorse for causing me pain and she even says she may not really have been in love with the OM, but she may have been in love with the fantasy which included the OM. Either way, we are rebuilding our marriage.

I hope this is the beginning for you. These committed lovers sure do work hard to keep and protect what they view as their new property, be prepared for some more bumps to deal with. Next time you think he wants to kiss you, let him, but don't initiate it. Your window to your husband will get bigger and the wall will begin to build up for his gf.

Good luck and God Bless you.

MW

Oh Spider

I have been praying so hard for you, I knew he would come around, well at least I was hoping he would. I will continue to pray for you and H. Remember we are strong like steel, not aluminum....LOL. Glad to see you are happy again, I have missed you on the board.


((((((HUGS)))))))

NY

Spider I'm so happy for you I wish you all the luck in the world. I give you the double WOOT WOOT.

SS - Great news! Now get busy doing things, so that you don't sit around and get desparate to hear from him. Just go calmly on with your life.

And remember don't just take him back. You need to develop a plan for reconciliation and also a way to make your marriage better than it was before.

glad to hear it SS and you know what you need to do according to dr. harley (and people like believer). My prayers will continue to be w/you and others on the MB forums.

Oh what wonderful news SS! I am soo happy for you! Keep us posted and you give us HOPE now! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

AWESOME! You go girl. I agree with Believer, however. There needs to be a plan for repair and recovery...but one step at a time...

SS, your story shows what a roller coaster ride this is from one day to the next. Your strength I know will carry you to whatever comes next. I'm happy at the progress being made. Wow, your best friend. How difficult to have a double betrayal like that. CV

I love reading posts like yours! Keep up the great work! Enjoy this feeling - you deserve the happines that is yet to come!

SS, yes. I am so happy for you. Thinking of you the whole weekend and prayed for you too. Hang in there, it is a rollercoster right, but we are all ready for it. Take it one at a time. Lots of love and hug for you.

SS,

I haven't been on for a couple days. Great news on your front. Sounds like things are working. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Keep us posted!

LL

Amy
I read your last posts about the sushi lunch etc. I hadn't posted because I was trying to think it through first. Glad I didn't.

This is a great breakthrough. This is the first post in which he has stated any remorse and feelings of love. Maybe all that negativity before this breakthrough was him desperately trying to hold onto blame rather than letting in how he was feeling.

Sounds like he is finally looking at his own actions and seeing a bit of your lighthouse through the fog. He sounds like he has been so conflicted.

I guess your PlanA is working. Keep it up.

Stay off that recovery board if you think it is bad luck. Lets hope this continues.

Good luck. I am praying for you as always.
C&S

HOOOEEYYY!(I tried to whistle there but that is what it sounded like cuz my bridgework ain't done yet) Congratulations SS. I hope and pray for the best for you.

Since WH was looking for an excuse to invite me to lunch today with our boys, I called him up and asked if they wanted to go out to dinner with me (my dinner plans fell through - my friend is sick).

So, we all went to dinner, and shopped at K-mart, and then went to a movie. It was awesome. Very relaxed and comfortable.

My heart is warm. My soul is soothed. I pray for this for each of us on these boards.

WH said he is looking forward to the thinking he will do while the boys and I are out of town for the next couple of days. He is so hopeful.

We have MC tomorrow at 1. It will be interesting to see if his defenses come right back up. I am kind-of expecting that, as he really took major chances and risks today. We processed much info!

But, maybe it won't be too bad.

Lots of love and support and hugs!

SS

Pray for your meeting today. Good luck.

SS, I am so happy for you and your family. I was so upset at your post Friday. God works in mysterious ways. Your story gives me hope.

SS - Time to call for help from ark. She always has such great ideas.

I was thinking of you doing something he likes - maybe taking boys hiking up to Brett's hiking area. Then take lots of pictures and leave them out like you are putting them in a scrapbook. Wasn't that one of her ideas?

Let H know that this marriage train is rolling, and he needs to jump on board.

Excellent idea, Believer! I am going to suggest he plans a hiking trip for us for Friday, when the boys and I get back from our trip.

The boys can take their BB guns, and he can watch my 30 pounds lighter butt hike up a mountain!

I have caught him several times looking at the smaller package of SS. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I got him right where I want him!!!

I am so excited. I definately have my second wind. I can wait for as long as it takes now. I truly feel that.

I will post about our MC appointment today if I have time.

Lots of love and HUGS!

SS