mortarman will you stop making me cry! LOL you are so right about the purple heart and MOH winners they weren't doing what they did because they knew they would get medals they did it because it was instinctual, that was the only option and knew if the tables were turned their buddies would do the same for them.

my H and I were both in the service. AF though. I don't know a lot about your story but i'm glad you have the courage to post because i'm sure it's helped a lot of people despite whatever pain you have gone through.

Thanks RR!

I am so happy that your story came out so good. Now for the hard work of recovery. Your marriage can become better than it ever was. Please keep us posted, and hope you will be on recovery board as well.

Mortarman -

I will shoot you an email to your yahoo account when I get the schedule for next week's trip.

My H is coming home early from work today and I'll ask for all the details.

I do appreciate your recognition. I feel like I have accomplished a great deal and learned so much about myself and people in general. I could walk away from all of this with a much different view of people:

I could see this as just another example of how you can't trust anyone. I could withdraw from people in general because of the lack of trust I have in people in general.

I am taking way from this a totally different view. I see that good people make mistakes. I know that those mistakes can be forgiven. I know that there are people out there that will help others when they do not have to. There are people in the world that will stand beside you and support you for nothing else but to help someone. People you do not know and may never know them as anything but a USERNAME.

So, you see, instead of my faith in the human race being deminished by all of this...it think it has been restored and strengthened.

HW,

Here is what I know about this...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Rom 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This whole thing may be God using a very bad situation in order to further you, your husband and your marriage. So even more than your faith in man being restored (because men will let you down), take this as God has walked with you the whole way, with His own Plan A/B for you and your husband. And He is working it for your good. He has brought many good people to your side to help you.

But He is the architect of this HW. Never lose sight of that!

In His arms.

how right you are mortarman. i do frequently tell myself that this is happening for a reason. i had strayed from God. I keep praying that i will do what he wants me to do but at the same time i pray for him to open my H's heart to me again, then i feel guilty for asking that because it's what i want, so then i ask for forgiveness for that.

my H and I were not equally yoked when we were married and still aren't to this day. however, we did get married and i just can't help but feel that God would want us to divorce, despite everything. but God's plans will remain his and hope i will do what he would have me to.

i think a lot of people here feel similarly, that this is happening for a reason. i saw there was a post on atheist, non-christians and if they belonged here. i didn't read it because i didn't think i could relate but maybe i should. God loves us unconditionally, if only we could all do the same.

Thank you for your encouragement Believer and Just J. I appreciate your guidance and support.

HW - It's possible that we could arrange a brief hello on Tuesday evening. And absolutely NO relationship talk. But this shouldn't distract from your occasion.

Sounds like the Double Tree in Pentagon City which is walking distance from my GF's house (in good weather). You won't even be IN the city - you'll be in Arlington across the Potomac from DC. But, on Wed. you could take in the Cherry Blossoms around the Tidal Pool which are expected to be in full bloom at that time.

And why do you think I could pick you out?

Please confirm it's the Double Tree in Pentagon City or Arlington, Va. We can firm this up by Monday, OK?

WAT

Roughroad / Mortarman -

I totally am on the same page. Our Pastor told me a while back that this has happened to us for a reason.

In looking at that I tried to find a reason for this happening. Here's what I came up with:

My H has so much influence over so many people, both in the military and civlian community. There are so many people that look up to him...including higher ranking O's and NCO's. These people come to him for guidance and support. This situation will allow him to relate to others who have been through this. I hope that our situation will be used to show people that sometimes the people you view as most invincible are human and make mistakes. This situation has brought us both closer to God. I will be able to witness to others on topics such as this. I will have more influence for having gone through this.

It has also brought me here. Maybe I needed to be here to help people going through what I'm going through. Maybe that's why you are all here too. To help me and to help each other.

There are good people out there. My eyes were closed to this before I found MB.

WAT -

Pentagon City is the Double Tree I'm talking about. I'll give an update here as soon as I have confirmation of the times and such.

I was saying that you could pick me out of a crowd easily because it will be mostly military people and some spouses. I stick out like a sore thumb at these things. I do plan to be absolutely stunning at the ice breaker. So you'll should see my glow from a mile away. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

You'll see the glow from the top of my head. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

In your sig line, did you mean recovery began 3/22/2004?

WAT

Yes I did mean 3/22...fixing it now. 2/22 was closer to my "I Give Up" post. How time flies.

WAT / Mortarman -

I was right yesterday. We will be staying at the Double Tree in Pentagon City. The Ice Breaker will be in the hotel lounge around 6 and will last until everyone leaves.


What do you think?

Mortarman - I'll email you with more details. I do not have an email address on WAT yet. If you want WAT I can just post here the color of shirt I'll be wearing and you can sift through the people. It shouldn't be hard.

I don't have any conflicts at the moment.

You can mail me at DCScandals@yahoo.com

WAT

Wow! I have read this thread and have been so heartened by what you did. It was extremely brave. My H had an EA 18 months ago and whilst everything I read told me to expose the A to the OWH I didn't have the courage to do it. My reasons for not doing it were mainly that I felt my H would hate me for it, her H would hate her for it and it would leave them wide open to get together. They worked together and I just felt the humiliation etc that would pursue I couldn't put him through it. So I never did - thankfully my H was strong enough to do the NC bit and that seemed enough.

Having read your thread though one of my problems now is I still don't feel I have closure. OW and my H caused me enormous pain (as we all know) and I feel she got off lightly. Whilst it shouldn't be a competition my H and are now so blissfully happy in hindsight I wish I had exposed it. We both like you feel it was meant to be - we are reliving our marriage like we did 20 years ago and it was definately a wake up call.

In a way I feel sometimes the WS needs you to make these decisions for them. Like we all know it is an addiction and by exposing the A it's like helping them finish it, because they are too scared to do it themselves.

Yours is a wonderful story with a happy ending and should be inspirational to others - thanks for sharing it.

Britt -

I do feel closure. I feel loved and like my H has recommitted himself to our M. Without exposure this would not have been possible.

I fear I would have always needed that closure and may have continued down my LBing path of destruction. I know now that the A had been over since my H made the NC call...but he continued to have a somewhat social friendship with her to keep up appearances at work and that killed me.

Exposure made it very obvious to me that my H knew exactly what kind of person she was. I saw the fog lift in front of my face. It was wonderful. Her true colors were shined through.

That was all I needed. And the entire time my H had the fresh memories of my Plan A in his mind and knew he had to do what was right.

I never expected this ending. I really thought we were headed for the big D.

HW: ive been too busy to check in for a few days, and when i do i find out that recovery is imminent! wow! please also give yourself credit, you are an amazing woman and you deserve a great marriage.

sending tons of love

Thank you so much KS. Where would I be without you?

Here's today's update:
My H is for sure on the right track. 2 weeks ago I would have told you you were crazy if you told me I would be where I am today in my M. My H went to bed last night reading the book again..without any coaxing from me. He folded the laundry and took the girls to school yesterday and today.

He came home early today because he is sick. I've been taking care of him all day. I made him so homemade chicken noodle soup and I've waited on him hand and foot. I think he likes being pampered. To be honest..he really is very sick. I feel sorry for him but I'm glad to have the chance to take care of him.

OK...enough for the day. We have a nice weekend planned. Dinner tomorrow night with friends and Sunday we will work around the house (starting to settle in here.)

.....and on Tuesday you're gonna meet two really cool old farts.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />
WAT
--------------
Pep wishes she was THIS cool

WAT -

I can't tell which event I'm more excited about:

Meeting some big brass and watching my H honored or meeting WAT and Mortarman.

That's a tough one. I know without you guys and this board I probably wouldn't be doing either.

I know you have to be tired of hearing me say it but I'll say it again for the record:

You all saved me. You not only saved my marriage but you saved my life.

Depression can be such an ugly beast. It can make you think of doing things that you normally wouldn't even consider. I let my FWH's A almost ruin me from the inside out. This board was my main source of help. I hope my story can be used to help others through similar difficult times.