MK,
I am not quite sure what you are asking for. Yes, you can talk to the commander and see what he can do. And he can have the emails, etc checked.
Since your husband hasnt bothered to go to counseling, I doubt he is over OW. Maybe there is still contact...who knows. In all of this, your gut is usually right.
Talk to the commander. Let him know that you need to make sure that your husband is flying right (no pun intended! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ). And ask him if he could check periodically to confirm that indeed your husband is having NC and to let you know that he is or is not.
Your commander can (and should) order your husband to cease all contact with OW. It will be your commander who will be in trouble with the IG, if it gets to the IG (someone calls), if his commander does not take appropriate actions to make sure your husband is back in compliance with AF regulations and the UCMJ. So, he can call your husband in, let him know that ANY further contact with OW will mean severe disciplinary actions.
Besides that, all I can say is that you may call the IG. But once the IG is involved, your husband's career may be over. Go look at all of Heroswife's threads and what I posted about the military and adultery. They are not playing around here!! your husband is risking everything if he is continuing contact. All it will take is for one person to say something, the IG find out...and that paycheck you count on will be GONE!!
So, I would have that talk with his commander. Maybe with him there. That way, you can count on the commander helping your husband to do right.
Let me know if there is anything else I can help you with.
As I have said before, this country would do well if it would enact the same laws on adultery as the military has. With the severe penalties. Might make a few WSs think twice. Or when caught, it might make them wake up a whole lot sooner.
In His arms.
