I wanted to counsel with SH, but his times and my available times don't work, so I am set with an appointment with Jennifer tomorrow night.

Has anyone had experience with her? Since she's Dr. Harley's daughter, would assume she's just as good. Just curious to hear any feedback about her.

LL

<small>[ March 24, 2004, 02:39 PM: Message edited by: lordslady ]</small>

^bump^

Hi LL,

I am glad you are able to schedule a MB counseling session. I have talked with Jennifer two times. She is very easy to talk to...very upbeat and friendly. She is the co-author of SAA and uses alot of examples from the book to illustrate her points. You should read it, if you have not already. I found that the sessions really helped me mentally. There is nothing like getting advice from the pros. Definitely worth the money. But don't expect to walk away with a script - I think that is what all us BS's want.

Some tips: make sure you have a pen and paper to take notes on what she says. Write everything down - you will regret it later if you don't. Also make a list of specific questions you have before your session so that you get the most bang for your buck. Good luck!

LL, SH made a good point, be prepared, and write things down. I only conseled with Steve, her brother. But i believe they are both as good. Good luck and have a good session. I pary for you.

Thanks. I really am not thinking straight and hadn't even considered taking notes of the session. I will try to have questions/thoughts prepared and will do my best notetaking.

Things are so up/down lately I don't know what to do. As of the weekend I thought WH was ready to end contact with OW. He wasn't with her either Sat or Sun night. On Monday he teetered a bit, but ended up going to mutual friends instead of OW's house. He also called (rather upset) and said he hoped I was happy as a pig in (stuff) because he was running it (the A) into the ground and taking OW her vacuum and DVD player Tuesday.

On Tuesday, rumor has it (through mutual friend) he did go to OW's place at lunch to take back a few things, and was only there 8 minutes and left. He told mutual friend he was going home last night after work, not to OW's place.

Not sure what happened (think he did go home), but I'd left two messages for him, one about a motorcycle ride and the other just asking if it was okay to txfr the $ for his share of expenses yet this week. No calls back.

This morning it all blew up. He left a hateful message for me about being at everyone's beck and call, no one caring about his feelings or his happiness, and maybe I should just figure it out myself.

I reacted without thinking at all. Called his shop to talk to him. Was told he was not available and assumed his calls were being screened. Told his employer to have him call me immediately, that I needed to address something upsetting with him, and that if he wants to be this way, perhaps he will have a surprise showing up at the shop in the next day or two - D papers.

Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!

The info was passed along to him by a very angry receptionist. He called back - LIVID! Never involve Ruth in the mix (she's the one I talked to--very small shop--they're like his family). And if I wanted so bad to work things out, why did I never come to his apartment? (maybe because of fear I'd run into OW?) Blah. Blah. Bunches of LB's from both sides. I told him it wasn't a D that I wanted, but that I was angry because I'd had such hope that he was very near the end of the A, and then the hateful call this morning set me off bad. Not much more to say--we ended the call.

Called mutual friend later--WH had also called her right after he hung up from me. She is telling both of us to calm down, to let it ride, that we're both way too emotional. She's telling me to not do anything stupid, and telling him not to let my blowup cause him to lose sight of what he's worked so hard over the last few days to do (get closer to giving up OW).

So...I hang out and twiddle my thumbs. I do nothing. I don't call. I just wait, I guess...until I can talk to Jennifer tonight.

I did, BTW, call Ruth (the shop secretary) back and apologize. I was crying. She was very appreciative of the call--says she doesn't want to be in the middle. I actually got her mother, the shop matriarch, first, who said, "LL, we wish the best for you and WH and that you can work things out. All this is making me sick."

Just keep me in your thoughts. I've sort of set March 31 as a defining date for where I am. WH will have either made some major headway by that time, or I will probably have to do a REAL, TRUE Plan B, and do it absolutely perfectly.

Again, all these things are what I need to talk to Jennifer about. So thanks for the feedback. I'm hoping she can help me to have hope, rather than to come away thinking I just as well give up.

LL

If you can, go to Radio Shack and pick up a telephone recorder jack you can plug into your tape recorder and your phone so you can record your session with Jennifer. Those run about $15.00 - and pick up blank tapes too while you're at it.

It will be an invaluable tool when you lose sight of your goal in the middle of an emotional battle.

That is a good idea. No time to do it tonight--no Radio Shack even close to work, but if I feel comfortable after this session and can swing 1 or 2 more, I'll try and do that.

I do tend to hear things that sound really good (and make me feel really good) at the time, and then I can't call them up when I need them. The bad things always override them.

LL