Bat,do you also post as whiteknight on General Questions II? Your situations are very similar. -pendragon
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by whiteknight:
<strong> I have been reading a lot of very sad posts about how how awful a lot of Ws feel about themselves if and when they discover that the OW is considered more attractive than they are.
I have been struggling with a problem since I broke off the relationship with the OW and I am ashamed at how shallow I have been, and maybe still am. You see, My W is wonderful. She has every good quality any man could want in a W, even though she is far from perfect. But I am sometimes obsessed with how absolutely beautiful the the OW was / is. Not just in my eyes, but anyone who would see her would agree. Beautiful hair, face and body, great smile. She can stop traffic. When I was with her in public we were stared at. I felt like the luckiest man in the world. My ego was through the roof. I think about her a lot. I want to stop thinking about her; but I can't. She is in my thoughts day and night. I constanty think about how beautiful she is. I hate it. I feel like a shallow pig. I wish someone would punch me in the face cometimes. My W deserves better than me.
But here's the reason for this post. The OW is beautiful. She always has been and always will be. BUT I broke up with her for the following reasons --- she is emotionally unstable. She is mentally unbalanced. She is a compulsive liar. She is 31, has 2 kids who she hits, and remains in a loveless and affectionaless marriage with a man who is abusive. She never got an education. She has a box of rocks in her head. She is a loser. Her whole life in 1 big game of denial. She smiles even though she is falling to pieces inside. She never did anything to advance herself except trying to be a model / actress. Her "career" never took off and never will. All she does are stupid student films for the University of Miami students. She used to work at Hooters and went home with a big, black basketball player who was sucking her neck when she woke up the next morning. Since she was 18, she has repeatedly posed naked for other men in a desperate attempt to get attention. There are nude photos of her on the internet. She gave me genital warts. She had sex with 11 guys before she got married at 21. When I broke off the A, she turned on me like a vindictive animal. She has been trying to file false police reports on me and is trying to sue me for "emotional distress." She talks to her real father about sex. She used to talk to him while I was with her, and she would tell him how much she liked giving me oral sex. I guess she did that in a desperate attempt to get attention from him. She used to take rags to wipe her genitals after we had sex to keep the semen from dripping out. One time she accidentally used my shirt and got a huge stain on it. She called her father and told her the story. She thought it was the funniest thing in the world. He dd too. Does anyone know of another girl who would talk to their father about her husband having anal sex with her?
Yes, she is beautiful. Anyone who would look at her would think she's got the perfect life. But she doesn't. She is dead inside. She is filled with so much hatred and bitterness and jelousy and envy and has such low-self-esteem that she is not a prize for anyone. She is a loser.
It hurts me to say all this. I am not saying it to make myself feel better. I wish I could look back on my life and think I made all the right decisions. At one time she was very special to me, and I told her I loved her, and I believed her when she told me she loved me. I wish we could have had special memories and went on our seperate ways; but when I broke it off, the real person she was bubbled to the surface. Actually, I guess I knew it all along, but I was looking past it because I was blinded by her beauty. That was a mistake.
Unfortunatley, good looking people get a lot of "free passes" in life ... and no one ever sat down with her and straightened her out. I tried but I failed. I went from being her best friend to her worst enemy. I wish I could sit down with her for 5 minutes and find out how and why turned into the monster she is ... but how do you rationalize mentall illness?
So, ladies, don't worry what the OW looked like. I bet my life she was no where close to being as beutiful as my OW was ... but I betchya anything she probably has as much ugliness inside of her as my OW did.
I am glad it's over. A strong relationship composed of two people determined to build a life together is worth a hell of a lot more than a 10 month affair with a pretty face and body. In the end, those things have no value at all.
Sorry this was not too articulate, but I am tired from a long day and I wanted to say something on this subject.
Based on the posts I've read, the sad Ws out there have more beauty inside them than any pretty OW ever could home for.
Best of luck to you all! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
