WH finally responds to my request for in-house separation and where to go from here, blah, blah, blah.

I will give him equal time and y'all help me decide how I should proceed from here....

By the way, this is the VERY FIRST time he has given me this much "verbage" at one time since the A.

"The real truth is, if I truly thought that I would have got something in return, I probably would not have done it [gone to the topless bar w/co-workers for bachelor/bachelorette party until 4 am last Friday night]. But 2 nights before I tried to get in bed w/you and all you did was throw my hand off of you.

See the whole thing is, it has to go both ways. I love you and I want to be with you and yes I want the sex, intimacy, the touchy feely, but I know that this alone doesn’t or isn’t that important to you. If giving up that night meant a weekend or even a night of us together as one was the end result, then I would give up a hundred parties.

You don’t even know what you’re missing because you are to busy trying to make me pay for what I did. You think that treating me the way you do will make me realize that I was wrong. I know I was wrong but I need you to understand and help move forward.

But the fact is that in your eyes I made this big mistake and you're going to make me pay for it no matter what. If you gave me even a small glimpse of what we used to have I would walk on water because all I want is to get back the relationship we once had.

That’s how I feel."

The only problem I have with this is that if he really wants the R we had... then why did he have the A?

Also, I feel that his perception and my perception are a little off here. He sees me wanting him to be accountable for his time still as punishing him for the A. But I'm really holding him accountable because I have not felt the trust yet so I know we need to talk about that. D-day was about 1 week after he started a new job that has him working evenings to where there is no way I can account for his time so I guess me always asking him when he got off work bothers him.

What do y'all think????????

Have you tried anything like this:

Him: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">But the fact is that in your eyes I made this big mistake and you're going to make me pay for it no matter what. If you gave me even a small glimpse of what we used to have I would walk on water because all I want is to get back the relationship we once had. That’s how I feel.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">SoDisappointed: Wow, I really appreciate you expressing those feelings. I really think we both want the same things, we just need some help getting past the emotions. How about we give counseling with Steve Harley a try?

WAT

I would have loved and would love to have the opportunity to counsel with Harley but there is no way we can come up with $180. We don't even have any credit cards. And, also, by reading other posts, it looks like you have to realistically have more than one phone call counseling session.

He did mention last night that if we could somehow, some way figure out a way to come up w/some $$ for the counselor we used to see that he would be up for that.