My 7th week of plan B. Pretty solid. Probably because my WH had not even try to contact me so that makes it easy.

Remember i mentioned about the meeting with WH, OW, OW mom, MIL, My mom and me...well...my mom and me decided to call it off because the church counselor i saw yesterday told me it was not a good idea. OW mom also did not follow up. The idea of a meeting like that was causing me a lot of stress.

The church counselor was the same person my WH saw 2 weeks ago. He sounded good. I have hope he might be able to help us. I was happy to hear him telling my WH that WH was a coward for not being able to make a decision. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> He also told me no way will WH be able to make a decision himself. Counselor said i need to help him.

Church counselor wants me to meet up with WH for counseling. I am in plan B. Can i do that?

I told counselor i will only break my plan B just for the counseling and nothing else. I told him about MB but counselor was skeptical. Said he believes in scriptural counseling. But when he spoke to me most of what he describe more or less follows the same principle as MB so i thought that this is good enough.

My question now is that can i do plan B and do counseling at the same time? I don't know how to work this out.



Female age 37 WS-age 37
Known 18 years Married 9 years
DD age 5
OW - 20/unmarried
8/sep/03 - Dday
22/sep/03 - Dday & expose to family & friends
17/0ct/03 - Dday
29/Dec/03 - Dday & Told him to move out.
15/1/04 - Plan A
8/2/04 Plan B

Hi Zizzy --

A couple of questions: Has your husband agreed to counseling with your pastor? Any chance you could swing a session with one of the Harley's?

Has he given you any indication he's missing you and home?

I worry a little about your pastor reading him appropriate scriptures, because I think it will be like trying to educate him or just make him feel guilty, which could backfire. But it sounds like this may not be the case if you say your pastor's approach is not that much different. Did your pastor give a reason for his skepticsm about MB?

How do you feel about your Plan B so far?

Take care, and hang in there. I know it's hard.

Shellybird
Me -- 44, BS
H -- 52, WH
2 sons, 9 and 14
Married 10 years
D-day -- Aug. 2003, ONS w/nanny several years ago. Nanny's H calling out of the blue w/threats, so he tells me.

Shellybird

This counselor is not a pastor...just sort of a church community leader...

Cant call Harley...i live in malaysia...too far and too expensive.

Plan B is good for me so far. I am happy with it.

If not because of the internet i would not have found out about MB. I cant even get the books here. SAA was airmail for me all the way from Australia. So you can say...no one in my town knows about MB approach.

My question is...Is going for the counseling worth breaking my plan B? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

zizzy, I think you should go into counseling alone. You can't force your H into counseling. Just getting someone to counseling is of no effect if they are pushed into it and/or are not open to counseling. Counseling is no magic solution, especially to an unwilling person.

I would only suggest that the Harleys are also Christians and are extremely successful professionals who specialize in infidelity. They are among the most successful counselors in the US. I would give it a chance to work.

I know that you want fast results, zizzy, but it is just not going to happen. Personally, I think that you went into Plan B way too quick but remember the reason was because you couldn't BEAR to be in Plan A! So, maybe you should consider going into Plan A a while longer. I just don't know the answer. But I do know that you expect results overnight and aren't going to get that.

From my own experience and advice of others, it does no good to go to counseling with WS if they are continuing the affair.