And so it goes. A WEB site that offers bad advice. Obviously, I came to the wrong place. At least I am honest enough to admit that we, me and the MWW, are two really screwed-up people who are just trying to do the right thing for ourselves, and her children, and the hell with the rest of the world's opiinion.<P>The question seems to be, is it better to have loved and lost, than not to have loved at all. <P>Marriage vows aside, the love we feel for one another is more complete and fulfilling than you could possibly imagine. Danicing to the tune of society's drum no longer works when bad advice is taken.<P>Be advised, I will not abandon the trust and sincere hope we have found in one another. Our relationship will sruvive the test of mortality, and regardless of your opinion and stereotypical scrutiny, there is life after divorce for those who attempt to lay a foundation for a future without history.<P>You see, I am one of those guys who needs no approval from so many disfunctional perspectives. My God ! Are you all that hopelessly committed to living your lives for other people ? <P>Hiding behind the cloak of sanctimonious justification is no excuse for throwing stones at those who merely act upon their beliefs and trust in what we feel to be right, and true, and blessed.<P>Men > Treat your wives like you own them as long as they like having a daddy to tell them what to do. When the time comes that they tire of this illusion, be strong enough to accept that people often grow apart, and not together.<P>Women > There are men like me out there who realy do care about you. Watch out for the predators, but there actually are those of us who hate seeing you treated like property. We are unafraid to risk our lives at the hands of jealous husbands if you are unafraid to feel that same love we all once felt way back in high school. Just the way it is. Reach out for that light that flickers when you feel the heat glowing where you once thought was extinguished. Stay in a marriage because you want to, not because some ill-advised Internet counselors tell you that it is the right thing to do. Follow your feelings at all times. To thy own self be true . . .

Carlton<P>**Same post here as on courage(coward)"<P>Did you get what you came for by posting here?<P>Did you get all the necessary info to help lure MWW away from her family?<P>You are very resourceful and now with all this knowledge I am sure you will use it to get closer to MWW feelings to fullfill your quest of taking and keeping MWW.<P>People like you are very bad to our society. You are the knowingly hurting MWW, her children and her H. I hope one day MWW will find out you used this WebSite for info on how to lure her away.<BR>

Oy. I don't normally do this, but here goes. You're acting like a bozo who can't see beyond the nose on his face. <P>You came to the wrong place. Go to the Philanderer's forum if you want someone to pat you on the back about how you're handling this situation. Ain't gonna happen here.<P>I'm sorry you can't see that you will be happier with this woman, in the long run (if you end up together), if you will let her make the decision ON HER OWN... without any input or influence from you. Then you might have some security that you were not just "an exit affair/relationship." You are influencing her by encouraging her to take her focus off of her husband. <P>

One more thing that I couldn't let pass. You said that we should follow our feelings at all times. Tell me what kind of a world we would have if everyone lived by that little piece of advice!<P>"I don't feel like going to work today, so I'll just stay home!"<P>"I feel like killing that jerk on the freeway who cut me off!"<P>"I feel like eating hot fudge sundaes every night for dinner!"<P>Yes, these are extremes, but when we live by "feelings", i.e. our human nature, instead of living ABOVE them, we become slaves to our passions instead of to what we know is best and right.<P>

Carlton,<P>I used to be like you.<P>I'm not proud of it, but in college, I slept with a few married women. They were hurting women. All of them were married to overworked, insensitive husbands, who probably (at one time) had a good marriage. Two of them tried to get pregnent, by me. One offered me money. They were nice people. But how could I really care about them? They could offer me no real commitment. Hell, they couldn't be committed to their husbands. How could they be committed to me? So, I used them. I used them for sex.<P>I thought it was a game. It was actually fun. <P>About a decade later I got married, and my W had an affair. Suddenly, it wasn't much fun. <P>They say "what goes around, comes around." I pray that you never have to experience, (let me emphasize that) I PRAY THAT YOU NEVER HAVE TO EXPERIENCE, what we're going through.<P>Only the poorest or richest of people live their lives "one day at a time." You don't sound like either. May you live a looonnnng life.

"Never argue with a fool, people might not be able to tell the difference."

No, actually I pray Carlton does experience what we are all going through. Except I wish it on him tenfold... shame on me for saying this. I actually have more forgiveness for Miss Mia than I do this as*ho*e!

Carlton- You know that there are always two sides to a story and it takes two people to break up a marriage. Have you ever talked to the OW husband? How do you know that every thing she has told you has been true? Please don't pass judgement on those of us who love our spouses and want to save our marriages. Like I said before I hope someday you are put in the same place we are now.

Crazy or What > Actually MWW routinely defends H as a very good H who would do anything to save their marriage. Problem is not H, or MWW. Nor OM (me). Don't you get it ? Sometimes people just grow apart as they grow, or they do not grow at all. And without growth, there is no life. And without life, there is mere existence. In America, there are viable and reasonable alternatives to machismo.

Don't you get it Carlton? You will never get what you want from this forum. <P>Give her up and give up the forum. You will be doubly blessed.<P>

Carlton, <P>Unless there is some unforseen circumstances, this is the last time I'll write to you.<P>You've been warned about what's gonna happen, and I've told you because I pity you and the woman you love. I've been in her place. She's hurting and she's not in her right mind right now. I pray, PRAY that something happens so that she can see what a mistake she's making. <P>Ask anyone here Carlton! Betrayers feel like sh*t when they realize what they've done. <P>Stop hanging out here, stop injecting pain where there is too much already.<P>If you must continue on your current path, do it away from us.

To all:<P>I would like to suggest, that this dialogue with this supposed "person" stop. There is no requirement for any response at all to someone like this. There is too much hurt and pain floating through this site, to allow a second of your time to be spent with the person writing this drivel.<P>If you can, picture people in agony coming here, as a last resort looking for hope, and asking for help..and then invision a large part of the available "GOOD" energy being sucked out of this area, and being wasted on a person who wishes us to believe "he" is who he says he is...there is NO proof at all and there can't ever be, that there is such a person as "carlton"....I would urge you all, to not waste another second responding to this person. It will go away. Try it and watch.<P>DG99(D)

Carlton, Carlton, Carlton,<BR> Look you don't get it do you, I have stayed away from all your posts untill now, just reading them but not responding to them.<BR> If you had come here and asked for advise on ending this affair, (yes Carlton it IS an affair, an emotional affair), or even posted with the least remorse for your actions, you would have been recived with as much compassion as anyone else. All kinds of people post here, betrayed, betrayers, alike, we even have a few ow here and we have had an om or 2 also.<BR> But you seem to only want to talk about or look at what YOU want, what makes YOU feel good. what about her h, what if he lose's it and comes after you, it has been known to happen you know. And how will you look her children in the eye knowing full well you contributed to the destruction of their home ?<BR> It is not unreasonable to expect fedility from one's spouse. When people marry they vow to one another and to GOD to be faithful "till death do us part" not til I have out grown you, or til it no longer Feels good to be with you. Remember God, Carlton ? The One who said "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors house, or his [censored] or his WIFE nor anything that belongs to him ? Or how about "thou shalt not commit adultry ? I went back and reread these 10 simple rules for living Carlton, and guess what NOWHERE did I see a word about, everyone but Carlton<BR>should follow these rules, he is exempt if he dosen't want to. Believe me Carlton my h's last affair was with a "friend" yea right, and he had two affairs like yours, emotional w/o sex, guess what, they hurt just as bad, there were lies, there was betrayal. Get real man, leave her alone, give her a break. Don't see her for at least six months, whats six months ? Tell her you want her to work on her marriage, at the end of six months if she wants to divorce her h after not seeing seeing or talking to you, great. Or are you afraid she will decide to stay with her h ?<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P><p>[This message has been edited by Bozos_ Deb (edited September 15, 1999).]

Calton,<BR>Check your "rescue".<BR>Dave

Carlton, just remember what goes around comes around. Life is a big circle.

Calton, I feel soooo sad for you. Relationships are not based on the steps you have taken and life will suck you under once more by not being as you should. You will have a shallow empty life and nothing will come of this in the long run. I pray for you believe it or not, you need prayers so much more than some others on this site because you are truly driven by the devil himself.<P>------------------<BR>Chick's<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<BR>

Even if someone did to Carlton what he has done - it would not hurt him. You have to be capable of truly loving someone in order to be hurt by their infidelity......