I'll confess that i stole most of this from seekingbetter but it was something that i was looking to do before i left our house to go back to where i'm living. i guess this is supposed to be a love letter, i'm still in plan A (as far as i can tell) and of course the purpose is to just to try and let my H know again that i love him, want to work on our M (because he still doesn't want to). let me know what you think. i'll be leaving either tomorrow night or sunday. thanks in advance!!

don't know if i should say "dear WH" or just start into the letter but anyway,

I'm not proud that it took this tragic situation to jolt me into action. However, i have taken a long hard look at myself and i'm making needed changes in my life. My priorities are now clear, me and you. I've humbled myself these past weeks. I've set aside anger and pride and any of it's forms as far as humanly possible. Anger/pride kept me from listening to you and gave me nothing to do positive. I will be getting counseling to help me focus on the life i need to lead. It's clear that you withheld parts of yourself and i didn't nurture you back. I wounded your enthusiasm and love for me and failed to share my own. I would like to support you in your goals. i don't seek to control you but to be interdependent, to support each other. You are still young, smart, and strong. I didn't set you as my top priority but I am ready and eager to do this now, it's not too late and will support you if you'll let me. I want the opportunity to show that WE tried our hardest and did everything possible before giving up on OUR marriage. I would like to pursue this with you when/if you're ready.

with great respect, admiration, and affection, BS


a lot of this is based on what he has told me as well, that this (the A) is what it took for me to wake up, that he wasn't a priority in my life, that he tried for years to get back the woman he married and i just ignored or pushed him away.

tell me what you think guys! thanks.

<small>[ March 26, 2004, 11:05 PM: Message edited by: roughroad ]</small>

RR,

How do you feel about your letter? Is it a good summary of your feelings? If so, it looks ok to me. You were able to put it in such a compact and concise manner. I think it is good.

JMHO,
L.

thanks for the reply. i do feel good about it and i do feel like it summarizes my feelings. can't take full credit though, like i said, seekingbetter deserves that, he's worked on this letter (of course more specific for his situation) for a long time. i'm thankful for finding it.

It's a nice letter and to the point RR. Maybe I need to barrow your letter and give it to my W today.

tell me how it went today w/the WW, i'll be leaving tomorrow and won't be able to post until monday but we'll still keep checking until i go to bed tonight.

my H just left the house bout an hour ago and i don't know when i'll see him again. we still didn't come to a "resolution" if that's what you call it. he brought up again about what we were going to do with the house and that he needs to switch one of his deposits to a different bank. i said i thought we had decided to sell the house ourselves but there are still some things that need to be done and it will take time. i said he didn't need to switch the deposit but he said he just needs to get out on his own and start taking care of things himself.

i have put in for some leave for may (the first week), i would like to come her but then again our 11th anniversary is june and would like to be here for that as well (even though nothing will proabably come of it). i'll be talking this over w/SH when i can get an appt.

i thank seekingbetter needs pulizter for this letter! prayers to you.

RR I've heard nothing from my W today. I called her cell and got her voicemail. I asked her to call me and let me know if she was coming over or not I also said I was worried about her. I'll let you know if I hear from her.

just FYI, i did leave the letter for my WH. i'm back to where i work and live now. i have my first counseling session w/SH tomorrow at 0900.

Good luck with the counseling I am going to get some counseling also. RR let us know how it goes with the counseling.