Been tossing and turning since 11:30pm. It's 3am now...

Had a horrible conversation on the phone with Wayward Wife. She blasted me and blasted me and I finally took the bait and snapped back. Told her she'd hurt me worse than anyone ever, even my ex-wife... (there's a wee bit of a history there) and then she hung up on me.

Like a damned fool, I tried calling her back a few times before coming to my senses and realizing what an idiot I was for taking the bait in the first place. Calling back just makes me a grasping idiot.

I just sent my Plan B letter. Enough is enough. I realize now this is a plan to protect both love banks, though now both banks are applying for bankruptcy protection.

GGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!

Please oh God let me get some sleep. I have to get up with my Boy tomorrow, pretend nothing is wrong, go to work, pretend nothing is wrong, come home, prepare supper, do housework and help my Son with his homework and pretend nothing is wrong.

It's ALL wrong.

Someone could jump in right about now and remind me why I'm doing this... why I'm allowing myself to care at all anymore about this person who has so callously torn my soul to shreds and ripped asunder my Son's home and security.

dewt

<small>[ March 29, 2004, 02:24 AM: Message edited by: dewt ]</small>

Try to get some sleep. I have been watching your story for several days. You need to take good care of yourself right now. Plan B is a good choice.

I'm exhausted. Been really really sick. Boy was sick last week too and I missed 3 days of much needed pay. Lovebanks not the only account empty.

I'll try to sleep, but I'm fried.

Thanks for popping in on me. I really appreciate it.

Why? Because acknowledging a loved one has lost it is a hard thing to do. Your mind and heart are not in sync yet so your heart is desparately looking for that little light of hope.

You are getting tired. I can feel it in your post.

Realize that her words are filled with truth, babble and lies. This makes the truth or even the part that is the truth a lie. Why? Because it is like a rotten apple thrown into the bag. All the good apples don't repair the rotten one. If left in the bag, that 1 rotten apple can ruin the whole bunch.

So what are you to do? Take a good long look at plan B and see when you can implement it with good support and direction. It can help but you have to be prepared for the consequences either way.

Now you can also start working on your boundaries. These boundaries now raises the priority of your family ahead of the needs of the WS.

It is doable and you will survive.

take care,
L.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Orchid:
<strong> So what are you to do? Take a good long look at plan B and see when you can implement it with good support and direction. It can help but you have to be prepared for the consequences either way.

Now you can also start working on your boundaries. These boundaries now raises the priority of your family ahead of the needs of the WS.

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Plan B was officially implemented last night. I'm going to need lots of help and direction, methinks, and pretty much this board is going to be it. I've got one maybe two friends IRL, but I have a feeling I'm gonna need all I can get... maybe a bit more... [wry grin]

I have to go to work. Much to think about but still must stay focused on job... gaaaa...

Thanks for replying. I'm guessing you know how much it means to me.

dewt

Hang in there, dewt. Now that you're in Plan B, let's get you focused on the boundaries and on what you need to do to make sure you STAY in Plan B.

Do you have an intermediary?
Do you have a way to transition the kids without contact?
Have you separated your finances?

Make a list and start working on it five or ten minutes at a time. Nothing major, just little baby steps toward protecting yourself from further harm.

Block the e-mail
Block the cell phone
Don't take calls at work today
Don't take calls at home tonight
Draw boundaries at your doors and windows, if that kind of thing works for you
Get support from any and all family that you have

And most importantly, get to your doctor for some help with sleeping. If you can't sleep, you can't function.

Deut,

This isn't to beat you up, but rather to let others reading know that this is not the ideal way to enter Plan B. Plan B should be entered after an effective, non-lovebusting stint of Plan A. Preferrably, it should not be done as a reaction to something the WS does. You should enter it on your own time, in a calm manner, with the letter ready to send, and with your support network in place to take care of you.

For you: {{{{{{{{{{Deut}}}}}}}}}}. Get some good support, because the next few weeks are likely to be quite difficult.

Dewt is what SOULLOSS saying true?
below is a post by SOULLOSS to DEWT

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Plan B certainly does make it easier for you to date your girlfriend.

I can't believe that here in the land of MB honesty, there is still No mention of your online personal ads, your online women who answered your ad, no mention of going to meet one, no mention of driving our son to me repeatedly with said girlfriend, no mention here on the boards of motel sleepovers,...no mention of introducing her to our kids, having her be there with you and the children for a weekend visit.......

you ask for hope from me, you wish limbo to end...well, it's difficult to believe for one minute that you want to save anything when you quite frankly, have been seeing someone since February...having your proverbial amotional needs met...

When you can be completely honest and truthful...we will have somewhere to begin, perhaps...

I received your Plan B letter...

I will respect your wishes..


Dylan </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

dewt

The last post begs for a reply???

Fess up.

What's going on?

If you want to make a difference in your life and your marriage, begin with honesty, first to yourself, secondly to those from who you seek assistance from.

SD

Big reply coming...

First I must feed son, do homework, tuck in and stories... then I have an important and relevant phone call to make... then I will pray for some grace following which I will come here and reply in depth. Sorry to keep y'all hanging.

dewt.