I want to start off by saying thank you to Melody and Believer for the advise you two gave me when I first posted my situation. I have been home from deployment since 9 March 2004. And just like the advise given to me, expect the worst, the worst has happened so far. My WW told me on our 12th anniversary that she wanted to separate. I moved out of her fathers house on that day and have only been back to pick up my children (s-9 and d-8) and to pick up my personal belongings. When I got home, I confronted her and her friend about them being together and I was told no. But I have been told that her sister walked in on them more than once and apparently has documented proof of the affair. The only thing is, is that no one can believe a word that comes out of my sister-in-laws mouth. Some of the other things that have happened are she completely treated me like dirt in front of our children while treating her friend like gold, gave him free access to our car and I am pretty sure our bank account. She has completely destroyed me inside and out. The good news is, is that I have already contacted 2 different lawyers and they both have told that when it comes down to it that I should have absolutely no problems getting custody of my children. Which by the way neither one wants to live with their mother or grandfather. While she is sitting in her pity pool and doing pretty much nothing with her life, I am moving on. I am actively looking for an apartment or house around the base that I am stationed and should have no problem with that. I have opened my own bank account and have money going to it by allotment, but I will be having my direct deposit going to it soon. I have asked her a couple of times if she does want to divorce and she keeps telling me that she does not know and that she wants to see if things will work out or not. I am not sure if I want them to work out or not at this point. I have gotten myself into counseling through the military which so far has been pretty helpful. That is all that is going on here with my situation. Again thank you to Melody and Believer.

Hey - Good to hear from you again. I have been thinking about you and wondering what happened. Please read all about Plan A here. It is the place to start.

Take your time through this. And also a big WELCOME HOME.

I talked to her again tonight, I actually called to talk to my kids. She did inform me that she has been in contact with a lawyer, which is something that I had already figured out. I told that I too have talked to 2 lawyers. I asked her if it was over between us and she still said "I don't know." I am not sure how much longer she expects me to wait around for her to make the decision, but I am not going to wait much longer. I need to move on with my life, not only for me, but for my children. I am going to check out Part A once I can get a break from work. We have been back for about 3 weeks and the days that I am working have been very busy. Thank you for the "Welcome Home!!!!" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Well I hope you will stick with us for awhile. There are several military guys here - apache and mortarman come to mind.

Plan A is where you talk nicely to your wife, don't love-bust (argue, accuse, scream, etc.) and show her what a good husband she is losing. If that doesn't wake her up, then you go to Plan B, which is no contact with her, except for finances and kids.

Take your time, and don't rush into divorce.

I am not going anywhere. I have tried to talk to her and show her that I still do care and love her, but she does not really want to talk very much. I did talk to her last night when I called to talk to my kids. I got her to admit that she has contacted a lawyer. She said that she did that because I threatened to take the kids from her and cut all 3 of them off financially. I told her that I would never cut them off. However, if we do end up getting a divorce, which I don't, I will fight her tooth and nail to get custody of the kids. Just about every time I do talk to her, I let her know that this separation thing is stupid and that we need to talk to each other and try to work it out. I am still holding out for it to work out. I am not sure about her though. I guess I will have to wait and see what happens. I will keep you updated as things transpire between us.

Racefan - You are at the very beginning of this. We have a plan here. It is called Plan A. Read about it here.