Today is a 'miss him' day. Not that every day isn't, but today is especially hard. Don't know why.

Maybe because I get glimpses of how our lives could be if only the fog would lift for just a little while. Maybe because he makes me feel warm and safe, even now. Maybe because I can still feel the way he looks at me with those gorgeous blue eyes. Maybe because I'm feeling guilty for all the times I never told him how I really feel about him for fear of being made fun of. Maybe because everywhere I look in this house we built together, I see him. Maybe because I miss sitting on the couch with him and watching bad reality TV.

He's done such terrible things to me, and yet I can't think badly of him. That's not true. There are times when I want to kick the living sh*t out of him, but those feelings always subside for the ones I'm experiencing tonight.

This is so hard. I want it to work so badly, but it's got to take two - and right now, we're only one. Sorry for the babble...

I am with you on all of this tonight. It is a miss him kind of day. Everything you just said is the same for me. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

NY

(((((((NY)))))))

It's so nice to have this forum. Thanks for reading and understanding my post. You guys are awesome.

I don't know what scares me the most, missing him so badly, or being afraid I'll get to the point that I don't miss him. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />