Dear 2ml,
You are not the only one dealing wtih a pyscho OW. I dealt with one also.
Here's a sample of her e-mail dated back in Dec 2000.
OW: "Your voice message was so pretentious and pugnacious. You don't care about WS
You know that you called the police after WS out of your vindictiveness for me. Even the police officers understood WS's description of what you were
trying to do. If you keep crying wolf like this, no one will believe a word you say again."
Orchid: I recieved a call from the WS. He said he had nothing to live for and was going to end it all. I assumed suicide since he had also talked about it and his brother committed suicide a few years earlier. So i called 911 and they found him in a motel about 1 mile from my work. OW lives in another town but it was her idea to meet him near my work. YUICK. I was on the phone with the officer most of the time they were there so OW's rendition is quite different that the play by play I received from the police (she took off before the police showed up, called me from her house and sent me this e-mail). I even spoke to the police the next day and was assured I did the correct thing.
OW: What kind of monster are you? He has been trying to leave you for about a year now, and you keep holding him hostage. Smashing his computer,
blocking the doorway, abandoning son to manipulate WS back to the house,throwing him out with nowhere to go, having little family pow-wows behindWS'
back, seducing him against his will. He has never done that to you. So, what'snext on your path of destruction?
Orchid: I never abandoned my child (one day while WS was at home, I took a drive for 3 minutes around the block to calm down, son was 6 and watching TV, did not even know I was gone). I did not smash the oomputer (WS did). I did throw the WS out. He was being a jerk and deserved not to be in our home with his rotten attitude. Family Pow-wows were his family's attempts to help the WS. Seduce WS? I certainly was not into seducing the WS, he was smelly from the A as far as I was concerned. Path of destruction? Hm.... only path of destruction I followed was to destroy the A. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
OW: And, why is it that his father is always in his house alone with you? Why do you two spend so much time "alone" together?
Orchid: At that time FIL was picking up our son once a week due to a shortened school day. He would not accept $$ so I would make dinner for him that night. He lives alone so he enjoyed it. I was NOT having an A w/FIL as she sooo much wanted to imply.
OW: Yes, he told me today that you are the one who
makes him feel suicidal. Before he met me, you forced him out of his own home,and made him crash into worthlessness. You are so evil, it is incredible to absorb right now. It's plain that you wanted the police to put him into the State's ward. It's hard to believe what an enemy you've become to both of us. All he meant to
convey was that he knew what he had to do next in his life, leave you.
Orchid: WS left on his own. I did not throw him out until after d/d. As for commiting him, the OW sure gave me some ideas. Guess the OW thought she knew the WS more than I did. For a time, that was true. The WS was like a strange alien to his family.
OW: I think you are a cold person, who cannot feel, who only wants and wants and wants. Self centered and self absorbed in a greedy sort of way. I've tried to make WS love you again, tried to send him back to you five times, tried to pitch hit for you...but that was before we saw your true colors. You have no right to
judge me as a "hooker" or "husband stealer" or "lousy woman" and write me HATE letters, and invade my personal domain unpredictably, when it is WS
who cannot stand your presence.
Orchid: Now this is where the OW thinks she is some sort of saint. She wants credit for her sordid attempts to send him back to his family and accuses me of invading her privacy. Let's see, she is the one who send pictures of her body parts to his e-mail addy which I found because he opened it on our computer. As for the hate mail, I wrote her a letter appealing to her sense of reason (this was before I found MB and thought she had some reason).
I did not call the OW a hooker. I did accuse her of stealing an H.
OW: I've taken cared of WS with the quality that has been incredible for him. So, don't tell me that I am not supportive of his best welfare. I've listened to
him, laughed with him, shared stories and our love for the healthier life together, beyond the time you've had a chance to prove yourself to him by. He will live
longer with me, have true kinship with me, and a real friendship with me. I will not betray his trust the way that you had for the past few years. He'll go
to college like he had always wanted to, that you didn't want or had yourself, (which I can tell from your three letters) and he will lead a promising life that he can be proud of, that affords him happiness and worth. You've been his impasse. You helped him fail in making his
own business a success by never supporting his dreams. I cannot see why you think you are good for him. I know that you don't comprehend this kind of thing, and I don't expect you to. He has told me today that you are just as ignorant a person as he is.
Orchid: Here is where the OW tries to show she is better than the BS. In order to do so, she has to berate the BS and misquote the WS. Did the WS say I was ignorant? Yes he did. He said he told her he thought I was a bit ignorant when it came to installing a computer. When the WS read this he was angry because he saw all the places in this e-mail and others where the OW misconstrued the facts. Very common trait in the fog.
So that's a sample of 1 e-mail from the OW I had to deal with. She is known on MB as PBR (psycho babble rabbit). LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
You are not alone in dealing with these nut cases. I survived and know you can also. Realize that you can't teach these OWs. Best to not deal with them and learn techniques to protect you and your family.
OW sent an e-mail to me last August. It made me angry but she did not get the pleasure of a response from me. I later saw her in court. She won an RO against the then WS but the WS had already broken it off with her and she was trying to be vindictive. OW called my work and home several times during that month and the next. But she could not get a rise out of me. Instead, the OW probably wonders to this day, when I will take action. She did say in the past that she felt she had to constantly look over her shoulder in case I was stalking her. I let her think that can happen. LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
I was able to get the OW to LB the WS without lifting a finger. You can learn that also.
Psycho OWs are manipulative liars. Use truths and turn them into 1/2 truths and lies. Best not to deal with them. They will be their own demise.
take care,
L.
