Hi everyone...I have been in Plan B for about a month with contact only by email in regards to finances...I have sent WS a few posts here and he has read them but his response was some articles are ok but do not reflect my position...what the hell does that mean? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> ...is he so different from other WS here ..he states that he knows he cannot go on living like this and hopes that things will become clear for him..meanwhile he is drowning himself in his work...I told him that is good but at some point in his life he has to decide where he wants to be in 20 years...(we have been married for 30 years)...in a stable family environment...with family and good moral friends that love him or alone...I also stated that he must know that I will find someone soon and move on..is that what he wanted?...just gave him some thoughts to digest...personally I am getting tired of waiting for him to find himself...he may want to stay in limbo forever but I am not willing to do so for long...are there any statistics here for success in regards to:
1) long term marriages 30 years or so that have recovered.
2) letting the affair die off on it's own...how successful is this?
3) coming back and going through withdrawl...we tried four times at reconciliation and each time he resumed contact with OW..very painful for me to go through false hope each time
His affair with OW started in June /02...I had no idea until I found receipt in our car July/03...he was very discreet...did not take her anywhere in public like restaurants, movies etc because we are well known in the city...just out of town and in little hole in the walls where no one would see them...OW frequents the bar scene and he met her one afternoon crying in her beer when he was booking his band in...he felt sorry for her and asked if he could help (set up if I ever saw one )...these OW know all the tricks of the trade <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> she was distaught because she had to place one of her children in a group home ( my point is what kind of a mother with three kids at home sits in a bar in the middle of the afternoon drinking beer?)...she stroked his ego (amongst other things ) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> and made him feel important...why wouldn't she...she saw $$ signs as we are well known in the city and WS is a successful businessman...A started with both parties telling her children he was not married...WS stated he wanted to be a male role model for children..great role model the both of them. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> ..lying...teaching it was ok to hurt, lie, cheat and deceive the family hurting at home...OW cannot understand why she cannot control problem children...well dah..honey take a look at your lifestyle...allowing married men to sleep in your home with the children watching...( WS was not the first)...spending time in bars etc...well you get the picture...how difficult is it for Ws to chose A) OW and her environment or B)...a loving family, with two adoring grandchildren...moral and respectful wife, moral friends, years of history with many common interests, wonderful trips together, wonderful family gatherings of shared love...throw away 30 years of hard work where we are now at the place in our lives where we could have had the world by the tail...travelling, spending time at our Florida home..this is the first year in 5 that we have not spent the winter there...sorry folks I just don't get it <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
<small>[ March 30, 2004, 12:14 PM: Message edited by: New Outlook ]</small>
