i had my first session w/SH this am and he was very encouraging that i sound like i'm doing what needs to be done. i wish we would have more time to talk but he never cut me off to say he had to go. I do think the first session should be at least 90minutes but that's another story.

i did have a few questions (well just a few main questions) that i wanted to get feedback on after i gave our history. one of it was that i had considered calling my FIL to find out if he supported me in fighting for my M and find out what he knew (about the A). SH said that all interested parties probably already knew about the A and didn't think it would really help my H at this point. So i'll sit on that for awhile.

i also wanted to know if i should move back to our house. SH said that i should be were my M is and i can't really work on things if i'm not there but not to do anything yet. i told him one of the things about my hesitation to move back was that if/when my H decides to give us another shot that what a better way to ensure NC than to move to another state (where I already have a job)? so i'll sit on this for awhile too.

other was how to approach my H on counseling w/SH. he suggested to go on the premise that it would help history from repeating itself and help me move forward in my life, that it could be used as an experiment or an idea to try out. i also wanted to know what or how SH would talk to my H. he said he would try to be on more of an intellectual level from an objective point of view (versus try to talk w/feelings and logic).

so i feel good about the session but can't afford another one until april 9th. i'm going to reserve that $ for my H's counseling. not that i think i've learned all i need to learn but i know where to get the information or how to get support, my H doesn't. he's basing his future happiness on our past. so we'll see and hopefully he'll get on board. i just have to slowly try to chip away at the walls that have been put up and do the best plan A i can right now.