Yeah, where is Chris. I want him to post that Pepsi / Coke shopping list he scanned of his ex-W's.

I know is has been said before, but my all time favorite is...

"I love you, but I'm not IN LOVE with you"

"dont worry about doing my laundry, someone else is already doing it" (and who would that be)

"of course, I'm not still sleeping with her"

"she wont pursue it once it is over" (yea right)

"she smells good all the time" (and what do I smell like...a pig in a pen)

(Kinda long, so tough...)
She left in Feb and came back in early June to visit the kids.
We went out and talked for a bit.

Me: So what happened between us?
Her: You never bought Coke, only Pepsi.

Me: <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Me: What else?
Her: You bought 2% milk, not whole milk.

Me: <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Me: What else?
Her: You made oat bran muffins that one time.
(Note: This was 10 years previous. I had high cholesterol. I bought the book The New 8-Week Cholesterol Cure : The Ultimate Program for Preventing Heart Disease and one of the things to do is eat lots of oat bran. Worked great for me. Went from 229 to 179 in 3 months.)

Me: <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
(I never made her eat them. And they were VERY good. Add a bit of cinnamon and use chunky applesauce <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> )

Now about the shopping list.

She's gone about a year. My buddy at work goes to the Dr. and gets his cholesterol checked. Way too high.
I tell him about the book and that I will bring it in for him.
After diggin it out at home and paging through it, I find a 3x5 index card with a shopping list, written by my wife. (Remember, this book was last used 10 years ago.)
It has about 10 things on it, including...
(drum roll please)...

Pepsi, no Coke.

Why didn't she write Coke? Maybe because she preferred Pepsi?

So now it's 9 months after she left. (no, she's not pregnant <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> ).
I had only seen her the one time above. We are at her brothers funeral out of state. Her whole family is there and we go out to dinner. She orders a Coke. The waitress tells her, "We don't have Coke, will Pepsi be okay?" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
She orders beer instead... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Moral of the story:
Believe something really is true and you will convince yourself of it.
If you are not in love with your spouse then simply ACT AS IF you are.

<small>[ April 26, 2004, 06:26 PM: Message edited by: Chris -CA123 ]</small>

Oh, another one.

H wanted to leave me for OW #1 and he was telling me what he loved so much about her:

Husband: She [OW] is so mellow and meek

OW #1 was a crack addict and out of 5 arrests that I know of, 2 of them were for assault and battery of the arresting officers, she actually seriously injured one of them.

During my H and OW's relationship, she beat him up and bit him in the chest while he was performing on stage in full view of his audience. He required stitches and to this day my ex-H has teeth marks on his chest.

My H had a new Subaru at the time and every time he came home to see me he had a new big dent in it from where OW kicked it. She broke the seats, shattered the winshield by throwing a large rock at it when he was driving away. He bailed her out of jail too many times to count. I could go on and on.

And you know, I never pointed out to my then-H what a poor judge of character he was in thinking OW was so "MELLOW". I don't think he'd even remember he ever said it. Fog and all. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Jo

<small>[ April 26, 2004, 06:15 PM: Message edited by: Resilient ]</small>

OK, here I go. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Day after D-Night:

FWH - I have to go to her. I'm sure she had a rough night.

FWH - She needs me more than you do.

FWH - Why can't I just date both of you? (Said jokingly...I think?)

From OW about l month after Dday:

OW - I'm losing my best friend!

OW - You called me a b*$ch!

OW - I respect your marriage.

The things they can say are amazing! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Hmmm...too many to repeat...but my all time favorites....

You were never a team player....(this is after supporting him through 22 years of a military career and raising our 4 kids while he pursued his career).

You will be happy to know she isn't a blonde this time. (She has red hair). His other affairees were blondes as are all of his kids and me.

This has nothing to do with you...we are just incompatible. This changed to...I divorced you because of you.

After divorcing....our whole marriage was fighting, screaming in front of the kids, and sexual incompatability....RIGHT....There was fighting when he was having an affair.

After speaking to his OW and actually had her on the line, I approached him with "you are having another affair"...his response "You definitely are crazy...you need to see a shrink. I don't need to listen to this...you have a problem." My response to him was "No, you have a problem...and she is on the line".

When he got off the phone with her, he said "she is just a person that works for Northrop, she is delusional".....

Oh well...I could write a book all by myself <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Chris:

I see where you went wrong:

"Her: You made oat bran muffins that one time."

She must have wanted OAK bran muffins! Oak has more fiber than oats. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

-ol' 2long

'No, I was NOT in love with her. I only told her that every time I saw her because she said it first.'
'Of course I had to buy her tons of flowers, gifts and write her cards... after I quit doing it all the time because I wanted to, she asked!'


No, not fogese.....just stupid things to say!

<small>[ April 27, 2004, 03:43 AM: Message edited by: lost&found ]</small>

She must have wanted OAK bran muffins! Oak has more fiber than oats.
Hmmm? She is "full of it".
I guess maybe she needed more roughage? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

After living with OW for 8months and nogtiating coming home for the past 2out of the 8 ...

ME: you know n/c is the only way
H:yes I agree , what do you think I am stupid
PHONE RINGS (OW)
ME ignore her , don't answer that
H; I have to or she will get pissed off
ME;but you know you can't have CONTACT
H YES , and that will happen as soon as she ready for it !
ME <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
H;don't worry she will get it and eventually break up with me .


ME where you IN LOVE WITH HER
H NO
ME why did you tell her
H I had to she told me I felt bad
Me she told me you asked her to marry her is it true
H YES , I said that so she would go away and get off my back !!!!!I didn't mean it .

LOL

I have a few more to add:

My WH once told me he could never got to the mall with us (wife and daughters) again because OW is a 'real mall rat' and we might run into her there. When he came back home for one week at Christmas we went Christmas shopping at mall and some of her friends saw us there. When we got home my WH snuck out to car to take a call from her on cell phone (after promising no contact). He said she was chewing him out for being seen at mall with us...

He also told me once that he would have to continue contact with OW because her little girl had 'become attached' to him.

When the OW broke up with him for resuming visitation, she told him: "You assured me your family was totally out of your life - I won't be 2nd place." He said, "See she cares about my family"... It was obviously an ultimatum from her to dump family or else. She proceeded to restrict and monitor any visitation he had with his daughters after that. He can only see them whenever he wants if he's broken up with OW or if daughters will agree to have visitation in her presence (which they refuse).

<small>[ April 27, 2004, 01:02 PM: Message edited by: meremortal ]</small>

Oh and the last time he assured me it was 'totally over' with the OW he added that he will never see her or talk to her again - unless she calls him and wants to see him. LOL

I then said as long as he's sitting by the phone waiting for her to call then I won't be sitting at home by my phone waiting for him to call. That was LB'ing I know and it made him angry. Actually I think he was embarrassed because he said he's not sitting by the phone waiting for her to call... (but the grapevine says otherwise - he's heartbroken that she's dumped him... again...)

Want fog from OW , part of convo with me and her as I finnally BLEW the A out of water and made her aware of the fact that he refused to admit there was an OW:

ME: I asked and asked if there was someone else he told me know time and time again , now that I tracked you down are you with him or not

OW :crying ,, this is so hard for me , finding out he Betrayed me , you don't know how hurtfull this is .

ME NO I HAVEN"T GOT A CLUE , I am only the WIFE <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

OW my daughter loves him so much and is attached to him that , I don't know now if she could live with out him , her own farther is a dead beat .
ME well I am gld to see my H was able to play daddy ,, but if ya don't mind the ones he farthered are missing him just a BIT !

OW: I can't belive he would cheat on me !!!!!!!

Mere- you made me rember that one about the child being so attached , I just think wow these OW got some pair!

I then said as long as he's sitting by the phone waiting for her to call then I won't be sitting at home by my phone waiting for him to call. That was LB'ing I know
No, that is not lovebusting at all.

A little late, but how about this one?

"You are going to love (OW)her, too, once you get to know her!"

Uh...no...I don't think so. Heck, now HE doesn't even like her and wonders where in the heck that statement came from. He says it came from the time he had HUTAS (Head Up The A** Syndrome)! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Another one from when he had HUTAS:

When I asked how I was supposed to take care of the house and the yard without his help...

...."Oh, she won't mind if we still finish up our projects! She's not like that!"

Oh...I see! H is so embarrassed to even talk about the things he said. Thank God he sees how insane he really was!

Stillwed

3sACrowd,

Thanx for posting the fog talk about the OW saying her kid and the WH had become attached to each other. It helps some to know the more bizarre things my WH said are not so unuausl after all. I told my WH that just convinced me that the OW was a bad mother and that my daughters haven't been exposed to any OM sleeping at MY house! (now I'm pretty sure THAT was LB'ing... and it just prompted my husband to defend OW's so-called honor anyway... yuck!)

Also, the fog talk from the OW about how upset she is that your WH betrayed her and cheated on her was hilarious. How stupid does the OP have to be to trust the WS won't do to them what they KNOW they are doing to their own spouse and kids?!? My WH told me that just because he started having visitation with his daughters again and had spent some time with me (including sex one time) the OW broke up with him for a week. When she let him come back at the end of that week my WH gushed about how she didn't have to to do that, he had to give her a LOT of credit for forgiving him... (But I didn't deserve any credit for taking him back?) Oh and then she broke up with him again because 'she could never look at him the same' after he'd been back with me...LOL What a sissy IMO! How the heck did she expect to deal with being married to a serial adulterer in the future if she can't even handle him being with his CURRENT wife now?!?

Chris,

Thanx for posting that telling my WH I wouldn't be sitting at home waiting by the phone (as long as he sat waiting for OW to call him), wasn't LB'ing. Maybe I've done a better job avoiding LB'ing than I thought I did? I certainly hope so. What's really scary though is that even though the OW has certainly done her share of LB'ing, demanding, being suspicious, etc. my WH seems to not mind it coming from her... He's made a total fool of himself jumping through her hoops and allowing her to keep him on a very short leash. He denies it (probably because he's embarrassed) and I guess it was LB'ing when I would point it out to him. But he's still 'in love' with her and willing to put up with it I guess... It's not fair that there seems to be such a double standard - the OP can do no wrong and the BS can do no right.

<small>[ April 28, 2004, 11:42 AM: Message edited by: meremortal ]</small>

Don't know if this is technically "fogese," but when h was "pondering" whether to stay or go he asked me, "So just how much money do you think you will inherit from your mother." I think it's more "evilese."

Others that made it to the stupidity hall of fame...

"I don't want to marry her, just date her."

"You told me I could date."

"I've never had sex with her, we're just friends." If that were true he'd be the only idiot in the tri state area who hasn't had sex with her.

"She wasn't the one who sent you that letter telling you about our affair. I'm sure it was someone from church." Yeah right...

"Who are you to judge that what we've done is wrong." Duh, it was God who said it was wrong.

"You would help me out alot if you would just go ahead and kill yourself."

"No it didn't." His response when I asked him if it ever occured to him that a married woman with a 3 year old child who would have an affair with a married man would be the scum of the earth.

and just last week when talking to our daughter and me..."It's her (me) fault I had that affair. I wasn't happy."

and probably the most stupid comment of all..."No I didn't make that call. Someone from the phone company put that number in there." and even had that audicity to call the phone company and ask them why they did that!!!!!! Pure stupidity in human form

How about this one....
"I have to keep the cell phone (that OW gave him)...so I can call her....to keep her APPEASED so she won't do anything to hurt our family."
**********************
I will never be able to use the word "appeased" again.

Her: We were just friends

Me: Then why did you park your car in the garage, and close the door?

Her: He doesn't want his neighbors to know he has friends. (?)

..................
Her: I think my "friendship" with him make me better for you. (?) What???

..................
Her: You'd like him. He's like you, really straightforward, honest, stand-up guy.

Me: You mean you think I'd ply someone else's Wife with liquor, fool around with her, then send her driving home drunk as a skunk???

Her: Well...uh

..............
She still doesn't honestly know if he penetrated her one night, because she was so drunk. She clings to the fact he didn't to this day??? And all this "after" fog talk.

SD

These are so funny, I just had to throw mine in.
I have to point out that my WH (now ex) is no longer with the OW, so these are especially ironic now.
1. I thought I loved you when we get married 18 years ago - but now I realize that I really didn't know what love was.
2. (to our 2 boys he said this) I am happier than I have ever been. Surely you guys wouldn't begrudge me this chance at happiness.
3. I have to believe that God intended for her and I to be together - otherwise he would not have brought her into my life.
4. My current favorite - about a week after he left, he left a message on my answering machine SCREAMING at the top of his lungs "OW and I are going to be together for THE REST OF MY LIFE you just need to get over it. (now that they are no longer together I want to ask him if this is the signal of the end of his life?)
5. He accused me of being on "mind - altering drugs" because I was on Lexapro (anti-D) when I signed the divorce papers. He says that we should go back, and re-do the D papers now, giving him more money and half the house because I was on mind altering drugs??? Let see, I got a better deal in the divorce, and he signed without a fight, but now I should re-do everything because I WAS ON MIND ALTERING DRUGS? Is he friggin kidding me?? (by the way-by the time I signed the papers I had not been on the anti-D's for over a month)
Finally - he told me that I need to call his family, and tell them that OW is really a nice person, so they will invite her to family functions. That it is my job to make sure his family accepts her.
Lately I have actually seen glimpses of the man I once knew. I am thinking about asking him about some of this crap, perhaps in another month or so. I suspect taht he will not remember any of it.