lol, that is a hoot, Cymanca! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hey, we have another one of your fellow doctors on here [stu]. Have you noticed we have alot of folks here in the medical profession?

Cymanca " I wrote a letter to the OM's employer about what you two did while he was working"

Cymanca's WW " I can't believe you did that. I always thought you were a classy guy"

Mel,

Yes I have noticed. Wish it wasn't so, but reality says different.

Me: "So...what does she look like?"
FWH: *pause* "She has a skin problem."

I still giggle over that one. It about killed me NOT to tell the OW he said that after she told me my FWH was a lousy lay. I just said sex in the back of a car usually isn't, but Im sure she has her standards. She was just pissed that I mentioned I would have never known about their affair if it hadnt been for his emails, because we had a fabulous sex life.

FWH still claims they didnt have intercourse (like it matters). OW claims they did, *once* and that was after she said they hadn't until I said something to piss her off. So after the phone call, and after his continued, strenuous and angry denials of intercourse:

Me: "Did you perform oral sex on her?"
FWH: *looking shocked* "NO WAY! I didn't know her THAT well!"

And later:
ME: "Do you love her?"
FWH: "Absolutely not."
Me: "So why end all the emails with "I LOVE YOU" or "Love,"
FWH: I dunno. I didn't mean it.
Me: "Why were you asking her to settle down and get married if you didn't love her?"
FWH: "I dunno."
Me: "Was it a game? Because I know she was playing you and laughing about it."
FWH: "Yes, it was a game."
ME: "Then how do I know this isn't a game?"
FWH: "BECAUSE IM TELLING THE TRUTH!"

I was looking for this thread. I had one called Dorkisms as well. Sheesh! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

What a loadful of crap: My Favourites from the Dork:

Dork: I don't understand why we can have the same R as you and your first H. You are really close and you're friends and respect each other.

Me: Well, when things weren't working, we went to MC for a year and then we MUTUALLY agreed that D was the only thing left. AND he was NOT cheating on me and lying aobut it.

Dork: Well I'm doing the same thing only different!

Me: Burst into laughter.

Last month: I was trying to negotiate our Legal Separation so that he would FINALLY sign it. ANd we were agreeing to be resepctful and no DJs, etc

Dork: You know that time that you and DD13 came to visit me at the Dragonboat Festival Dithpig4 respected you.

Me: HUH?!?!?!

Dork: Well you told her to stay away and she didn't come see me until after you left. And it's a free country. WHy can't you treat her with the same respect?

Me: Umm, well what do you think would have happened if the wh0re had shown up. (Me thinking ya such great respect for us that she's married and with another woman's WH)

Dork: You and DD13 would have told everybody.

Me: (thinking "Bingo")

OMG! It is such BS!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Most of my WH's crazy sayings are about DD:

Me: Your relationship with DD will be different than if you had stayed with us. Not that it can't be good, but it won't be what it could have been.

WH: Yes, I think our relationship will be better. I think DD will understand and appreciate me being happy instead of being unhappy.

And then there's, "I think this will make me a better father."

And of course, "I'm not walking away from my family."

Let's see.
How about - " I want to leave you to see if she'll leave her husband"

"If I find out her husband laid a hand on her I'll kill him" - this is 3 days after he threatened to throw me down the stairs.

In front of me and OW " I'll stay with bs through the summer but not one day more"

BS - how can you do this to our family?
WS - "what family?" (we have 3 children)

WS - "can you believe her husband is going to church now just so he can see her on Sundays?"
BS - laughing - next thing you know you'll be going too - pause - ws -"I do have a lot to atone for" This from the man who never went to church with his kids and i as a family - the Sunday after he left me he started going - to see her - funny huh?

I told my WH the stress of the A is causing me to lose weight.
30 pounds and he said then you should "thank me for that"
WHAT EVER!!!!!

Well, I've posted these before, but I don't believe on this thread.

WW: "Can't you just let me go and see if what we have is real in person? I'll come back if it's not!"

And one that's not really fog-ese, but still pretty funny.

We were in MC, she'd already decided to reconcile and we were REALLY working on our M. Remember she was involved in an online EA with someone she'd met playing online games...and really worked hard for he and I to become friends online too (I think to help her justify the A, and facilitate it some).

Our MC recommended a book called "20 (Surprisingly Simple) Rules and Tools For a Great Marriage" by Dr Steve Stephens. We had picked it up and she was driving us back from his other office, about 45 minutes away. I started reading the introduction and table of contents out loud so she could see what the book was about too...and then I got to chapter 15..."Make Mutual Friends".

I read that out loud, and then just turned and looked at her. She looked over at me, and in a small, sheepish voice said...

"Well, I TRIED!"

It was mostly the timing, but the sheer irony of that comment had us both laughing so hard we nearly wrecked the van. It was the first deep down laugh either of us had had since d-day...and it was when I realized that we'd gotten to the point where we could see that humor in it that I KNEW we were gonna make it.

Interestingly enough, we laughed so hard we missed our exit for home...got lost for a little while, and took a new route home. And...while stopping at a store on the way home we found our NEW wedding set that we've been wearing ever since. Interesting how God works sometimes, you know? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

“But your shift isn’t over until six!”
The first coherent words my former fiancé said after I walked in on her and OM in bed.

Nice to know she had a schedule.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

A few more from my WH:

From WH in regards to OW: "I am fighting my feelings, it has only been two weeks. how long would it take you to get over your mother dying"

My WH met OW when he went to do a job at her H's business. So I asked how much OWHs had paid him for the job.
WH said: "For the work I did, or the other stuff" (then he smirked), I must have looked shocked, he said "oh, I guess that wasn't really funny" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

WH: "Don't you think if she keeps calling I will see her as a predator that doesn't respect my family?" Well apparently not, she kept calling and he left to be with her.

WH: It's not like that. We're just friends. (For the love of God would they please take the WS's handbook back to the printers for a new line)

ME: WHAT ABOUT DS?????
WH: DS will always have two parents who love him. (Oh, ain't that schweet! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />)

ME: DS is very upset about this divorce.
WH: Didn't you tell him it happens all the time? It's no big deal.

WH: We've grown apart and lead seperate lives. (Don't you mean seperate sex lives????????)

WH: I don't know if I'm doing the right thing or not, but I just have to do it! (Okay, you've taken the Nike ad a little too far)

WH: You'll be okay, you have friends. (Unlike you loverboy, I don't sleep with my "friends")

WH: You're just jealous of my friends (Tell me more. What friends should I be jealous of?)

WH: I'M NOT 12 YEARS OLD ANYMORE AND I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO REPORT TO YOU ABOUT MY COMINGS AND GOINGS!!!! (Oh, did I miss a birthday? Look at you, you've blossomed into a teenager! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />)

WS: Well we both knew it was wrong!

ME: Then why did you keep doing it?

WS: very confused look then - Well we didn't plan it....

ME: When was the last time you were with her?

WS: Playoff game 7 in Chicago.

ME: I thought you never planned it when you were together, it just happened when you both happened to be traveling to the same place at the same time.

WS: Well we didn't go to the game together!

He took the day off work to go see that game and somehow just ran into her in a stadium with thousands of people????

WS.."If you would kill yourself, it would make things easier for me."

"But you were just so depressed from the move overseas, and she made me feel so good about myself."

"It really didn't have anything to do with you."

Well, as a FWS I am guilty of saying some of these things...shames me to know some of these statements came out of my mouth. I am amazed at what i truly believed at that time...

As a FBS, here are some I heard. I know some of these are in relation to the hurt he felt from me...but still things he said while in his fog...

"We have been seperated for months, you are just too dumb to figure it out"

(darn - yes, you have been sleeping in the basement, but we had sex 2 days ago, and have not talked about seperation, divorce, etc...I thought this was just recovery and the space you needed to heal (been in recovery 6 months)? Wish someone had told me we were seperated)

"I have to choose between a [censored] life with you or a great one with her"

"She would never hurt me like you can hurt me - she is a good human being and you can never compare to her"

(She dumped him 4 weeks later, 3 weeks after he officially left me for her, and he confessed 2 days after that...saying he was going to dump her too...I give him the benefit of the doubt - but wonder...)

Me = "did you use a condom?"

Him - does anyone when it's not planned?

Me - could she be pregnant?

Him - no way

me - why - has she had her tubes tied (40 year old single mom - although pregnancy is harder, still possible)?

Him - no - she is on the pill

me - did you see her take one?

Him - umm - no

Me - then she could be pregnant

Him - silence.

And both he and I are guilty of the STD talk where we both said - but I trust OM/OW that they are clean...then as I came outta the fog - I realized I trust nothing...and as H came outta his fog - he realized he really knew nothing about her past either...

Here is my latest

WW: I have lived for you and daughter for 12 years and look at what it got me.

ME: Who are you living for now and look at what is getting you.

WW: I am living for ME...All for my self and no one else..._uck you.

I don't know if this is appropriate to say but I read all of these and I feel better! I feel better to know it is not just my wh that says these things, that it is basically a script they all say. Helps me not to take it soooo personally... mlhb

Ohhh this thread takes me back and I do laugh about it now.

"I never promised to be faithful when we took our vows"
(I had to get the tape out and show H that he did in fact promise to be faithful during the wedding ceremony) I guess his mind was elsewhere when taking those vows...

"Everybody does it"

"Cheating on your W makes you love and apprecitate her more....that`s what all the guys say"

"I was told (by the guys) cheating would be the ultimate sexual thrill"

"The ONS woman was not really the type of woman I had in mind to cheat with....I wanted a better quality OW"

"OW may sleep around alot but she`s not a slut....she never cheats when she`s in a relationship...she told me so herself...therefore she is not a slut" (To which I replied "Okay H...if that is your defintion of a slut then what does that make YOU?") No answer.

"EA OW and I wanted to sleep together...discussed it and decided out of respect for YOU maybe we should just have phone sex instead"

And the biggest and most insulting fogese of all....

"Of course I always loved you....I never stopped loving you"