*SNORT!!!*

This is GREAT stuff! I'm gonna hunt down some of my own later!

I got the we are more like brother and sister than husband and wife.

I have so much in commom with her (OMW)it like we'er soul mates.

I wish you and her can still be friends.

Or after WH read a little bit of Dr. Phil " I am just to comfortable in this relationship."

WS - "I just can't help the way I feel!"

WS - "Don't go after OW. She works out."

WS - "Great! Now that you talked to OW, she doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore. Thanks a lot!"

About an ONS with a co-worker after a night of drinking:

Me - "Did you let her give you OS?"
WS - "Yes."
Me - "OMG! HOW GROSS! She's got nasty teeth!"
WS - "Well, I didn't KISS her!!! YUCK!"

WS: OW hates cats just like I do and the ones at her home ALL belong to her husband!!!!! (she had 14 cats and her husband was out of the house from early mornings till late evenings..........DUH)

WS: OW saves all of her "hard" earned money.

xOW didn't work, she was a "Stay at home wife" with 14 cats, 2 dogs, 1 horse...............NO children. Her husband earned the $$$$................

bb

Oh this is so good for me right now I need the laughs. I remembered some more.

From WH to OMW: People just don't understand what we feel for each other.

To BS (me): I didn't think it would go this far. I just started off thinking maybe she could come into our bed with you. Then I thought maybe I just have sex with her. Then we became friends. HA!

Let's see...

After WH had been gone for two weeks, and I told him he missed me: "I don't miss you in my life. I miss your family, but I don't miss you."
After WH had been gone for seven months, and I told him he doesn't miss me: "Who says I don't miss you?" (Erm...)

"I don't particularly care how you feel, actually. I mean, I don't want to see you hurt, but I don't really care." (Run that one by me again, slowly?)

After I promised him I would change the behavior he found objectionable: "You’re telling me everything I have always wanted to hear, but it comes three weeks too late." (Three weeks? After 21 YEARS? Milk has a longer shelf life than three weeks!)

"Well, if that’s the kind of person I am, who won’t give you a chance, then you’re well rid of me!" (Good point, well made.)

"The way to get true peace is to remove the people that make you feel bad from your life." (Hey - he's been Plan B'ing all along!)

"I don’t know that you loved me! How did you show me you loved me? Come on – you always say actions speak louder than words! Tell me one thing you’ve done in all the time we’ve been together that showed me you love me!" (Ummm... how about devoting myself to your for 21 years, looking after you, supporting you, making love to you, kissing and hugging you, bearing four of your children, helping you in every single way, as well as saying "I love you" every day?)

"You have been making me feel inadequate and bad about myself for twenty long years." (And if you stuck it out that long, you deserved what you got!)

"If you were run over by a bus tomorrow, the kids would be all right." (Yeah - that's because run over by a bus I'm still a better parent than you are alive and kicking and in full health.)

"You didn’t meet my needs. I know you think you did, but it isn’t the case. Now I am going to look for someone who does." (Actually... there's a new Bible coming out with the "needs" amendment: "Love is kind, and suffers long... unless that person doesn't meet your needs. Love never fails... unless that person doesn't meet your needs. You shall cleave unto your wife and none other... unless she doesn't meet your needs.)

"People are stopping me in the street and saying, ‘How could you have LIVED with her? How did you stand it?’" (Aaahhh... if only people had stopped him in the street BEFORE we married and said, "Don't marry her! DON'T DO IT!")

And my personal favorite...

When I told him that he was putting himself ahead of the family, and breaking it up in the process: "What an unbelievable thing to say! If D17 wanted to move out, I wouldn’t be accusing her of breaking up the family!" (Obviously no one told him children eventually are MEANT to move out. Then again, maybe he just swapped roles from father to one of the kids.)

There's so much more, I could just go on and on!

WS: OW has a busy life. So much is going on in her life and she has so much to do. She worked as a highly qualified secretary in a big business and the house they live in is "hers". So she wants to throw OWH out of the house.

When I asked him what OW does the whole day he told me the following.

WS: Well.............she's out alot. She never needs alot of time to cook and clean the house. She's fast at that and she's perfectly organized. It's always perfectly clean and she's always has a perfect meal cooked. This just happens and she doesn't need the time that you do.

She hardly needs time to get herself "perfectly" styled.She does all of these things "high speed" and never complains because this is NOT work for her. It's amazing and I don't understand how come you need so much time to do all of these things.
She's out with her friends and she's out shopping and visiting people and she spends hours together with her horse.



Me: when I asked him how "highly" qualified OW was he told me.

WS: Well.............she knows "nothing" about computers and she actually "hates" computers.........so she has this in common with me. She was very qualified in the business she worked for............so she does know alot about running a business. (I never really found out about her qualifications)

Me: What does OW do the whole day???

WS: She is always helping other people. She is so helpful and kind, she'll do things for others without being payed. (ya, right.............) OWH is very mean and aggressive to her and always asks her to go to the bank and to the post-office. This really annoys OW because she has so much to do and OWH won't do anything, he won't even go to the bank or post-office.

Right after D-D my husband wanted to move out. He told me that OW was going to throw OWH out of her house and that she
had offered my husband to move in with her.

WS: OW is going to throw OWH out of the house because he has appartments all over the place. He can go and live in one of his appartments. I am not going to move together with OW because I told her a long time ago that I needed to live on my own and get my head cleared.

OW also told me that I could go and live with her parents because they also have an empty appartment.......(they didn't have a clue about the affair)
OW also offered me that she would take over all the business stuff and she'd do all the paper work.

When my husband was out of the "FOG" his additude really changed.

OWH threw OW out of the house because it is HIS house and they are getting divorced.

OW is working in a Pub, so I guess this says it all about her qualifications.

OW is no longer "real busy" because she no longer has the $$$$................and she no longer does things for other people without getting payed!!!

And OW (42yo) is now living with her mommy and daddy in the appartment that she had offered my husband.

bb
Sometimes it really feels good to let these things out!!! *giggle*

bump for laughs

River Tam:
I was LOL so loudly that my daughter wanted to know what was so funny:

"After I promised him I would change the behavior he found objectionable: "You’re telling me everything I have always wanted to hear, but it comes three weeks too late." (Three weeks? After 21 YEARS? Milk has a longer shelf life than three weeks!)"

Yea, my WXH made numerous pronouncements that NOW that I had said/done something (or refused to do something he demanded of me), he was going to divorce me. He'd pretend that up until that EXACT moment he was supposedly still considering ending the adultery and saving the marriage.... BUT since I wouldn't just shut-up and put-up with his agenda-du-jour then I had NOW made it impossible for him to do anything but divorce me. I kid you not, he made these 'last straw' announcements dozens of times over a period of several years LOL Apparently there were all these second chances and deadlines that darn it all I just kept missing by nanoseconds LOL

And he also said things like your husband in response to my efforts to improve in any way: it was always too little too late for him to give ME another chance (even though I gave HIM several 'another chance's throughout our marriage).

Also there was this huge list of things he 'could NEVER fogive' ME for... and were also reasons why he was divorcing me: Everything from getting a restraining order (as a reaction to him head-butting me and threatening to kill me - he complained that I over-reacted), contacting OW, telling the kids the truth, not letting him cake-eat...even the fact that my lawyer showed up at court wearing a BUSINESS SUIT sent him into a jealous rage - the lawyer in the business suit is something that he threw in my face several times over the years as if it was somehow done deliberately to humiliate him! LOL

I remember one time when he was demanding that he should be able to come over every day after work to have dinner with us and watch videos, even AFTER the divorce would become final, and because I said no, he could just drop off and pick up the kids for visitation, he said: "See that's why I'm divorcing you - because you won't do as your told"! Um, because I would refuse to do as told AFTER the divorce, he was going to go through with the divorce?

Weirndess man...

Me: “Do you love OW#1?”
Him: “I don’t know, I never really thought about it. I guess I would have to on some level because I am doing this”. (WT…?)

Me: “Do you like OW#2???”
Him: “No, we are just friends, anyway she has a boyfriend”. (I was like Wow, and you have a wife but that didn’t stop you from sleeping with OW#1).

Me: “How can you just chuck your whole family for a relationship that you don’t know will last?”
Him: “I don’t know, I am a bad person”.

Me: “Why did you do this to us?”
Him: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Why is OW#1 worth all of this to you?”
Him: “I don’t know” (this answer is becoming rather familiar, I think) “I have to think about it. Is it bad that I have to think about it?”

Then later I point out that this OW cheated with a married man before, slept with numerous men, has lied to her XBF too many times to count, tricked him into moving across the country with out her and his daughter, lied to me and has been extremely manipulative…..

Him: “I don’t really think you want me to list all of her good qualities”(I was thinking…yeah, I actually do.)

Him: “I won’t be happy if I come home because I will always like OW#1”…I’m pretty sure that is what he thought about me when we got married and he vowed to love me until death parts us…uh huh.

Him: “I can’t be trusted if I come home, I may cheat on you again.”
Me: “With the same person or with some one else?”
Him: “I don’t know, either one.”……(NIIICE).
Him: "You would never trust me. That's why I can't come home."


Him: “We were bad as married people.” (huh?)

Him: “Our marriage was boring. We never had fun together.” (Maybe that’s because he came home and stayed on the computer all night or watched sports, then wanted to do recreational activities alone with out me. That sort of prevents US from having “fun TOGETHER”. Anyway.)

Now for the Coup de Gras….

Him: “Can’t we just be friends?”
“I don’t want you to hate me”
“I would hate you if you did this to me and would never talk to you”
“Why won’t you talk to me? Are you ignoring me?”

LOL. I LOVE IT!!!

When confronted on the thousands of dollars of debt WH has racked up because of his affairs, he says, "Well, let's see how much you've spent on makeup." Yeah, buying mascara at Walgreens is comparable.

HA! The fog is thick isn't it? My WH in the last 4 months has added over $10,000 to his credit cards....I was shocked and amazed. Thankfully in the divorce terms he is to be fully responsible for his personal debts.

I hope you add that stipulation to your paperwork if you have to file.

Saralynn, those are great! Congrats on the new baby! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks ML!

My daughter is a little doll <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.

I think that these sayings from everyone should be compiled in a book for BS to read. Maybe the Harley's will add it to SAA when they do the next edition LOL.

Ok here are mine.

1. We (WH & OW), bumped into each other and it was instant sparks. (Good thing you didn't have any gas near you)

2. I don't want to be married to my best friend anymore. I want something more. His something more is a crack addict with hep C who has been divorced twice. Oh, but those were two abusive relationships.

3. WH - we don't live a healthy lifestyle. Ah - OW has Hep C.

4. WH - I'm tired of putting others first. I want to put myself first for a change.

5. Me - what are you teaching the children. WH - I am teaching them to stand up for their truths.

6. He hasn't been with me since March 06, when I would ask him why we weren't having SF, he would say - I can't trust you, you aren't safe. (He met her around then).

7. My DD finally confronted him this Friday - I just want to hear you say you are sorry. WH - I'm sorry I destroyed the family, I hurt over it more than anyone of you realize. DD - are you happy? WH - no I miss your brothers and you so much.

8. WH - I was told the boys will come to me when they are ready. Who is the parent here? The boys need him to show up and talk to them and keep trying, but he is waiting for them to come to him. He also is ok knowing that his kids may never forgive him. How can someone live with that?

9. When he was waffling about coming home, rather playing mind games with me. ME - what would it take to leave her. WH - when I decide that the work it is going to take to have a relationship with her isn't worth the work, I'll come home.

10. Here is a good one - ME - why won't you leave her, WH - you should know why, ME - help me, WH - You know I don't give up. ME - you gave up on me. That was different.

It is absolutely frightening the level of their ability to believe their lies and become the victim in all this.

"I think that these sayings from everyone should be compiled in a book for BS to read."

Actually I'd prefer these examples be put in public service announcements aired on tv to educate and warn the masses (or at least entertain them LOL)

How about these classics...

"I forgot."

"I don't know."

-LE

WW talking about spending christmas together: "We may be seperated, but we're still a family"

"I know what I did was morally wrong and people hate me but if they could get inside my head they wouldn't"

WxGF - "I can't be your girlfriend right now"

WxGf- "I love you but I'm not in love with you"

WxGF - The last few years were a total waste.

WxGF - "Why would you believe him He's cheating on his fiancee"

WxGF - "I don't need to tell you all my secrets."

WxGF - "The A is over and I'm devastated"

I'll jump in and call myself out on my fog.

After H asked serious, thought-provoking questions about my A. I would invariably respond:

"It is what it is, H."

WTH does that even mean?
*shoots self*