a WS here called his OW that and I have been thinking about it ever since. That is the best way I know of to describe a person that feeds off of the wounds of a married person.

I know that when we are trying to reconcile we are supposed to "let go" of the angry feelings we have for the OP. That's very hard to do! The OW that tore my life and marriage apart began her talks with my H with that in mind. It was no accident that she chose him! She worked in a place where most of the men were making barely above minimum wage. My H worked there for EXTRA money, it was a second job that paid a small fraction of what his real job pays. She was leaving her H and needed help. She couldn't afford to do it on her own and live the way she wanted to so she began crying to my H about how awful her life was. When he told her about our recent seperation and the things that had been going on since we got back together she knew she had an open wound to feed off of. I guess it could be said that he was doing the same thing since she was married too, except that she was leaving her H and he wasn't even thinking about leaving me until after she told him how badly she needed rescued and through many talks convinced him that he was terribly unhappy at home. What is painfully ironic about all of that is that he rescued a stranger and left the woman who has loved him a lifetime in need of being rescued. It almost killed me.

Toomanylies, I saw where you felt you were being ignored so thought I'd ring in. May I suggest you put something down as you're profile. Age, yrs married, kids etc. It gives people unfamiliar with your story a quick snapshot and may help you get more feedback.

As far as this topic I can honestly say my WW pursued OM. Not excusing him as he's been with 10 married woman but in this case I see it for what it is. If not him it would have been the next guy to come along. Maybe your situation is the same maybe not. But you can't waste time focusing on that but rather what was missing in your M and how to restore it if possible. You'll probably find she is a serial cheater but again, who cares, she's not your concern and COULDN'T CARRY YOUR COAT!!!!! Right? Just keep being a great person, it is very satisfying when the rest of the world seems to be going crazy.

bump