I have been reading many items here over the past few days and made two posts and only received two or three reply posts. I came for help and although reading what others have written has helped (especially Momto & Dadto's), I was hoping for more direct feedback.

I posted the first time on Monday (3/29) and the second yesterday morning (3/30)... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Still in Luv,

Hey, you're getting your money's worth... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Seriously, your first post had a general description of the problem, and your second post was more upbeat and didn't specifically ask for help.

If you want direct, effective feedback to recovering your marriage---my money is on counseling either here with the Harleys (888-639-1639 for appointments) or with Penny Tupy (www.saveyourmarriagecentral.com). It costs real money, but your marriage is worth it. I started counseling with Steve Harley before this forum existed, and it's the best investment I ever made.

Other than that, I'd suggest that you read the books recommended to you already, as well as read all the material in the Concepts and Q&A sections to get a feel for how this MB behavioral methodology applies to marriages. Then, I'd start asking specific questions on areas that you're having problems with.

Still in Luv! Do not give up! This forum is awesome and it has practically saved my marriage not to mention my sanity. I dont remember your posts, but I will go back and dig them up when I have time. The main thing is to ask specific questions. Keep posting in your own thread. Bump it back up...When you have a ??? come here and spill your heart out. Be specific as you can and be as honest as you can cuz if you are not honest then we cant help you. Bear your soul as I have done. Everyone is anonymous here, so if you want help then you need to be honest and ask exactly what you want to know.

I am glad that Dad and I have been able to help you. that is why we are here NOW. I was here in the beginning to help myself. Now that Dad is coming out of his FOG induced drug of choice, he can now help people. Plese dont give up on these people here. They WILL be around to help you. I dont know how much I myself can hlep, but I am trying to help out now. Take care and keep those posts coming.

Also, maybe your "TITLE" of your thread isn't a real eye catcher. The title has a lot to do with whether people want to read it or not. JMO! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hi Still in Luv,

i am sorry you have not had a better response, i'm glad you did not give up and posted this topic as well.

i am a WS, so i fear i cannot be of much help to you. plus i just confessed 9 days ago and i'm a major wreck.

but i wanted to say hi. this place really is great. don't give up. keep posting.

Still in Luv,

With your old posts:

1) Be shameless about bumping. Type in a reply that says "bump" so that your message goes back to the top of the list. Often people read and don't reply.

2) You might change the title if it doesn't grab. Push the edit button at the top of the first message and change the title.

I, too, have been where you are, when people don't seem to respond to an urgent question. Hang in there.

Still in luv, I will just keep bumping. Sorry I can help you, because I need a lot of help too. But angels will come, just hang in there.

wish i could help more, we all feel for you and your situation, just keep posting and replying to other posts. i was discouraged at first too when i didn't get many replies (still don't sometimes). again, the title or subject line can really make a difference. good luck and prayers to you.

Quantity or quality?

Many of the posts that get quite a few replies are OT or have a very catchy and desperate topic. If you are desperate or panicking for an answer...put that in your topic line.

People on here want to help, but have a limited time to do it. I have been on here MANY times and have only received 1 or 2 replies to a topic...sometimes that's enough...if not, I ask again in a different way. That's important too...ask a specific question...not just, what do I do? But what do I do about....?

I hear ya still in love.

I am somewhat disappointed too. But I do understand the nature of these boards (all internet BBs not just this one) I have a chronic condition that was diagnosed several years ago. I became a member of a support forum for that condition then. At first I got NO responses, but after being there for a long time, reading everything I could about it and being able to relay that info to others, my posts generated many responses. It is disappointing though, that on a support forum like this newcomers aren't given more *attention* than they are. Long time members have already learned what needs to be done and what steps to take etc.. those of us that are just now reaching out for help need it most.

I'm half afraid to offer my thoughts to others yet. I'm not new to infidelity but I am new to trying to find a way to fix my marriage through the help of those who have been where we are. I don't want to steer anyone wrong so I'm waiting until I myself understand better.

Also, another to consider is that many of us are NEW to this as well. I just joined this board about 3 weeks ago and my first few posts got no attention. Then I noticed these long huge threads. So I started reading thru them and noticed that it was just an ongoing thread from ONE poster and she/he would come to that thread and bump it up and or post the days events in it. Something like Dad is doing with his thread right now.

I am so new to this and now that my FWH is back home I have gotten comfortable offering my own advice to others. But for the first 3 weeks I wouldn't even read anyone elses threads as I was so wound up in my own turmoil and it really didn't help me. But I am slowly trying to venture out and try to help others on here as well. Please dont give up on this board. This board was my lifeline for several weeks. MelodyLane, Ark, beleiever, forever, tellthe truth, 2ofakind, orchid and many many others will give you much needed advice. They are good and they know what they are talking about.

Just keep on posting. Eventually you will get your answers...just remember we are all in this together. Take care

Still in Love,

You got some good suggestions for getting more responses on your posts by mom2threeboys.

If it has fallen off page one,,bump it back up to the top by posting an update or even just a "bump."

And ask some specific questions or help in a general area. Let the readers know where you are struggling or confused.

But the biggest problem I see is that you are not responding back to your posters. You ARE getting responses but YOU are not replying back to them. Notice those topics with the most replies are a running "dialogue." A "conversation." The topic starter starts a thread,,gets a few replies and RESPONDS BACK to those posters,,EACH poster,,answering their questions, responding to their suggestions and/or just THANKING THEM for taking the time to reply. If you don't respond back to your posters, your threads are almost guaranteed to be short. One way conversations don't last long. Just a suggestion.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

This is advice from someone whose done the posting circuit on many a site. You won't always get the responses you expect.

The advice listed here... that is to get outside counseling... is fantastic. Buster and I are seeing a counselor at a local church, not our own church. Her hourly fee is pretty reasonable in comparison to what others charge.

Also remember, you are getting responses from regular joe schmoes who have been through what you've been through. If you want real help, go to a professional.

The way this site has helped me is to realize I'm not the ONLY person on earth who has been in this place.

Boy have I learned that.

~hugs~