Trhough the time the affair went on 2/03-9/03. My H left my house twice. Both times that he left I took him back. Beside that I wanted to, He never spoke to the OW or saw or had hotel meetings while he was not living w/me and I'm positive of that. Yet he moves back in the home and I again start seeing phone calls. He has no idea that I can track all his cell phone calls on a Daily Basis. A distan Cousin works for his cell phone co. I've stop searching Now I wait for the statement of come monthly. Which he doesn't know I get too!

Can someone tell why when he was free to be W/OW he didn't do it?

It could be, simply, that there was not as much "thrill."

Space...

This happened to me also and I don't understand it either. My H would leave before D/day and tell me that a man from our church told him to separate from me as we were not getting along. It wasn't long before he wanted to come home. With each separation the time decreased in which he would want to come home eventually until he would call as he left the neighborhood wanting to come home. It was especially painful after d/day when I knew exactly where he was going.

I later learned that after d/day he would stop communication with the monster after he left home. That explained his sudden desire to come home. It drove her crazy as I'm sure her bags were packed to leave her family only to find that he wouldn't return her calls. I received her wrath as she thought I was trapping him. I told him to go to her with my blessings if that would make him happy. He didn't want her but was trapped in the addiction. He wants the comfort of having his family yet not able to deal with the draw the situation has on him.

What broke my husband is having his eyes opened as to what she truly is. He thought she was the most wonderful person and the truth is she's very sick-her whole life was a story of destruction/promiscuity/dishonesty/immorality. It's been 2 1/2 years since he has talked to her and she's still stalking us. We went through 5 years of pure h*ll...and I mean pure! He drank to extreme excess and what he said and did to us is beyond horrible to comprehend.

Now when we talk about those times, he tells me that he has so little memory of the details of that time. Not just the situation but complete block of time. He said it was as if it was a nightmare that couldn't possibly be true because of it's horror.

You might want to consider a Plan B. I know exaclty how difficult it is to you but something has to break that addiction. Consider telling him that you know of the continued contact and that he needs to make a decision. He'll continue to feed his addiction as long as you enable him. (and no I dont buy into the co-dependant mumbo jumbo) Don't let him back home until the NC letter has been sent and time is spent in counselling. And by the way, don't hesitate to change counselors if you're not happy-a mistake I made.

Could be that they were living together??? I know when my FWH was out of the house, OW was at his place of residence quite often...stayed the night, was there all the time, etc...So she could have been living with him.

No! He wasn't living with her he was his Dad's house!