Briefing on my story.

Together 15 yrs, married 11. I thought we had a great marriage with the normal disagreements.

On 1/06 H came to me crying that he's not in love with me, we don't get along, never have.

He admitted to EA that opened his eyes. Says it's over. OW is married too.

H has phone contact with numerous woman "friends". I have called them and they claim they have no interest in my H, that my H just seems to want someone to talk to.

My H says he doesn't want to be married to me anymore. Says he's been emotionally divorced from me for years (news to me)

He wants us to live together for the kids and for finances but to lead "seperate" lives, wants to file for divorce to make it official.

H says he's not in relationship with anyone but if the right one comes along, he would be interested. But he's no longer interested in me anymore.

H says in the past I have emotionally hurt him (via selfish demands, etc...) I was LBing big time but didn't know it.
H never said anything before this, he always let things roll off his back. Says he has tried to change to make marriage work (but he never vocalized this to me) and he's done with trying.

We went to two MC appts with a wonderful MC that I found that has the same logic as MB site and H says that gave him the answer.

MC went through the things a marriage needs, trust, honesty, things like that and my H says we don't have those things so it's over.

MC and I tried explaining that the MC will coach us how to rebuild. H says it will never work.

I was in Plan A for a month, ended it Saturday by punching out H (I know, I know, bad girl but I am 96 lbs, H is 220, not an excuse but not an even match either), H called cops, I initiated Plan B Monday.

What's your opinion on my situation? I see lawyer on Friday for financial stuff.

But looking at my situation, do I try Plan A again (and don't punch him again, little joke there) try living together, maybe he'll fall back in love

or do I stick with Plan B?

It's all so confusing to my kids. If I plan B then I would need H to beable to come to house to visit. I would need to stay. It's not saying much to the kids that everytime Dad comes Mom leaves.

M, stay here. Someone will give you advice.

HELP!! H is suppose to call me tonight.

BUMP

Stick to plan B ... you find reason to get out of plan B while H is not moving a bit at all.
-rh-

get counseling from SH if you can and that will help give you immediate professional feedback specific to your situation.

Punching him out does not end Plan A nor begin Plan B.

What did you do to initiate Plan B?

Please describe your Plan A accomplishments.

When did your H move out? To where?

Do you know who OW is? Do you know OW's H?

What do you know of the extent of the affair?

To whom and how have you exposed the affair?

RE: Desert Storm - does this mean you and/or he are U.S. military personnel? Still? Is OW or OW's H military?

posted April 01, 2004 11:16 AM
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Punching him out does not end Plan A nor begin Plan B.

What did you do to initiate Plan B? Sent Plan B letter as per Penney Tupy

Please describe your Plan A accomplishments. Met his EN'S as best as I could. He will not tell me what they are. He doesn't want sex from me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

When did your H move out? To where? Monday, to his truck.

Do you know who OW is? Do you know OW's H? It's a toss up between two OW. hE'S IN PHONE CONTACT WITH MULTIPLE WOMAN (FRIENDS)

What do you know of the extent of the affair? EA no admitted PA 1/1/03 (THEY MET) - 1/05/04 (my guess)

To whom and how have you exposed the affair? THE OW, my family, OW boss.

RE: Desert Storm - does this mean you and/or he are U.S. military personnel? Still? Is OW or OW's H military?
H is reserve. NO, OW is not

Penny knows her stuff. Stick with her.

I suggest you stick with Plan B. Let him live in his truck for awhile. But ANY unavoidable contact must be Plan A-like, i.e., no angry outbursts or disrespectful judgements.

WAT

Well, H agreed to MC. His words were "we will talk to the Dr and explore our avenues".

H says he can't see this marriage working.

I allowed H to come home under the agreement of MC.

H had already made plans to go have a beer with a friend last night prior to this agreement.

He came home yesterday afternoon and left about 8pm to go to friends house. He gave me a kiss on the head, I said "have a good time, drive careful"

It's 5:30 am, H not home yet. Kids will be upset when they wake up.

I left voicemail on cell phone saying "I am worried about you and I told the girls you would were going to be home this morning when they got up, please call me."

I am mentally preparing myself for when he comes home not to be angry, just concerned.

m,

Marriage counseling will do very little if he is lying about having an affair. He is having an affair right now and throwing him out pushed him further that way. I would gather as much information as possible about his affair and confront him with it. This won't get any better until the affair is out in the open.

In the meantime, you MUST stop all lovebusters. Every lovebuster you commit only makes the OW look good and you look BAD. I assure you that she is not lovebusting him.

It would also help if you ran to the bookstore and got Surviving an Affair by Willard Harley.

M, I know what a life this is like. I am fed up with it. My Wh disappeared two nights now. I finally feel some peace. i am seeing the good side of Plan B.

I've tried to uncover an affair. If there is one it's 6 hours from here (where he overnights on business).

I've thought of hiring PI, but can't afford it.

I bought SAA, great book.

I saw lawyer today, helped me stand a little taller for next time H brings up D word.

H came home 7:30 am. Passed out at friends house.

I just expressed concern and said I felt taken advantage of.