WH just called to let me know that his work schedule has changed and that he'll be working more hours (this is an unfortunate occurence in his line of work). Since he already drives over an hour each way, his time is certainly limited. Previously, he's been able to come over to see the kids 3 or 4 times a week. He was here all day yesterday, but the next time he'll be able to see them is next Thursday. He is NOT AT ALL happy about this, and is asking his boss for a transfer (to a closer location) tomorrow. However, they may not have any openings, or he may have to wait a while.

I silently considered taking the kids to his place of business (we used to do that frequently), but thought that maybe this would be enabling him. After all, he is only working so far away because his reputation got so tarnished after the A, he had to go where no one knew his situation (OW worked for WH, and eventually, WH was fired because of it). He is choosing to make his life so difficult.

He even mentioned that even if he was at home, he still wouldn't get to see the kids that much. I tried to point out that he'd see them in the morning, but he brushed that off saying that it'd only be for a few minutes. Rather than argue with him and tell him it's a few minutes more than what he's currently getting, I just let him ramble. He also forgets that he'd have weekend mornings as well - but I guess the fog helps them conveniently rationalize these types of behaviors, right?

So, to get to the point <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> , how should I handle this? I know OW will NOT like the schedule, and she will definitely not like the fact that ALL of his free time will be spent with us and not her. He's deep in the fog, and doesn't realize what an absolute MESS his life has become.

Any suggestions, or should I just lay low and continue with the best plan A I can muster?

Hi WHB,

Is your WH living with OW or what? Sorry I don't know your whole story but I immediately became suspicious of the extra work hours scenario.

Well,if I were you,there's not much else different that I would do.The only thing potentially changing here is more work hours for the WH.How that ultimately impacts you and the kids remains to be seen.

Yeah,I would continue the Plan A and let WH continue on his path of destruction.There is only so much of him to go around(you,the kids,OW,work,driving to work,etc)so eventually something's gonna give or he is going to burn out.Just stay the course.

O

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Is your WH living with OW or what? Sorry I don't know your whole story but I immediately became suspicious of the extra work hours scenario. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes, he is. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> I believe him about the extra hours because it is a frequent change in his line of work - has been for years. And I don't think he'd neglect the kids like that if he didn't HAVE to.

I didn't think I'd have to do anything differently. I guess I'm really just looking for a way for this all to end - just like everyone else on this board. I'd like a clean cut.

I'll just have to keep my fingers crossed that the OW LB's all the time about his new schedule. I'll continue to be the beacon in the pitch black of night, calling him home.