Yes... you read that right. My ex is getting away with EVERYTHING!!!

The short explaination is that the crown's office doesn't have enough "proof" to ensure a conviction, and therefore, finds it best to withdraw the charges (it would be worse to go through the trial and end up with a 'not guilty' verdict, or for the case to be dismissed, etc).

Apparently, b/c of my active involvement with BOTH the child porn possession case AND the sexaul assault on the minor girl case, that has caused tremendous problems for the crown.

My MB posts would have been used against me. I posted here about how scared I was, and how I needed to leave and go to a shelter to protect the boys and I, and how I'll do whatever it takes for us to be safe , etc. That was going to be used against me, b/c it "looks" as though I had the mindset to set H up. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

All I did do, was the "right" thing. I left an abusive M to protect myself and my boys, I found illegal materials and turned them in to the police, and I confronted a possible abuse victim and then reported that information to the proper authorities (apparently it would have been better for me to call the authorities first, and have them confront the girl with my suspicions).

I have learned some TERRIBLE things throughout all of this. The first and foremost being that justice sure as he!! isn't 'just'. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Other things I've learned, is that doing the right thing by counselling/emotional standards is not always the best by legal standards (e.g. my MB posts, my taking charge and confronting the victim to see if she was hurt by the ex, etc).

It's a pretty sad day around here.

And the problems don't end here. There is simply a new can of worms opened now, that need to be addressed.

As of April 13th, the ex's bail conditions will be non-existent. This means, he could legally come to my house, call me, arrange unsupervised access to the boys, etc. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I meet with my lawyer on Monday at 9am to work out a plan for a restraining order, supervised visitation, etc.

Silly me thought this would all be done with by the summer! HA! Boy was I wrong!

Karen

<small>[ April 02, 2004, 09:54 AM: Message edited by: whiteknight ]</small>

white--i know you are trying to help( i think <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> ) but you dont seem familiar with the story. her husband is a child porn addict and a molester.

maybe next time you should know the story first.

<small>[ April 02, 2004, 09:53 AM: Message edited by: whiteknight ]</small>

Topie...
so sorry to hear...
justice comes in many forms...and perhaps it is Gods way that the dealing is different than the plan we had in mind....

my prayers are with you and the family...
perhaps a move is in order...
Canada is a big beautiful place.....
hug those kiddies....and know you have gotten them to safety...and will do so as needed...

ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARK

<small>[ April 02, 2004, 02:18 PM: Message edited by: ark^^ ]</small>

Oh man, Karen, I'm so sorry to hear this. After all you've been through, there is still no end in sight. Yes, please, do what Ark^^ suggests and get you and your kids safe from this mess.

Thank you for the responses.

I did not see anything that whiteknight wrote, and by the sounds of it, that's a good thing. Thank you my MB angels for protecting me from the further hurt that may have caused me.

I will always have the comfort in knowing that in the end, he has to face God with his sins. That is more than enough for me. Of course... my concern is for the innocents out there who may fall prey to him in the future. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I don't know what else to say. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Karen

Wow, Karen. I don't know what to say.

But I do know what you'll do.

You'll be the strong woman that we've come to know for your kids and yourself. You will endure this setback and find the best course going forward. You will not fail in finding and doing the right things.

WAT

Awww Topie...I'm sooo sorry to hear this.

But YOU know you did what you had to do and tried your best to protect your kids and other kids. And, I know you. You will continue your efforts to shelter your children from anything harmful.

{{{Topie}}}}}

I agree with the others, Topie. You did all you could do. You did all the morally right things, but sometimes the "justice" system just lets us down. Technicalities, loop holes, etc. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

In this case, the justice system has done your whole community a dis-service, IMO. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

You (and your kids!) will be o.k., Topie, because you're strong and smart, and because you're a good person. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Lori

Awwwww Topie!

That $uckS...

I have not posted before because I have been in a personal turnmoil as you can bet...
Now I'm better...
Regarding that, well we already knew this could have happened. I mean you H has been the slimey SOB he has always been, but you know this can't stand for all his life.
Sooner or later life is going to catch on him. I know is not much of comfort, and is not what you wanted .

But just another view on this. Maybe God wanted it this way for you to not have anything to do in your exH's fall and later your kids would point a finger on u. I do not know I'm rambling here...

What I think, is that believe some day he will get it and he will have to pay back in full. I know it will be.

Another thing, may be... considering moving and dettaching from all this. I mean you can use the change of ambient and maybe enjoy some safety away from him???

((((((((Topie))))))) Will be praying for u honey...

Keep the good work and polish those Steel B... you have earned the title, do not get down on us now!

Oh, what a MAJOR BUMMER <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

My H says that we don't have a justice system, we have a legal system - and he's right.

Poop.

Well, you have done the best you could do given the situation, the information you had, and the tools at hand. That is all anyone can ask of you (and all that you should ever expect of yourself).

I've been through custody battles (not nearly as frightening as yours) and I know how raw your nerves must be. Please let us know how the meeting with the lawyer goes on Monday.

nikko: Thanks for being here for me, as usual. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

ark^^: Yes, a move may very well be in order, but not at this time. I'm prepared to go one more round on the visitation and RO issues, and perhaps 2 more on the child support ones (where I serve him to give me updated income statements from tax returns... something that he is automatically supposed to do each and every year). If nothing is resolved to my satisfaction after that, then yes, I'm moving out of London to be closer to family and friends (my 73 yr old father is the only family in town).

JustJ: Yes, I'm continuing with my safety plan, as usual since leaving nuckfuts. I'm just tired of the drama and the chaos, and am looking forward to getting off the ride I didn't ask to go on.

WAT: Hey... you know me pretty well, dontcha? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Yes, and as the police have already seen from MB before... I will legally do whatever it takes to keep my kids safe from their paternal side. That is my responsibility and duty.

Nerlycrzy: Yes, I did do all that I could do to save my M, protect my children, and abide by the law. I will always have comfort in knowing I did all I could do. I thank the MB stuff for teaching me that.

at peace: Exactly! The (so called) justice system is definitely doing a dis-service to the entire community. I too have the faith that the boys and I will be okay. I have the BEST friends anyone could ever ask for (both cyber and in person), and yes, I live a simple, good, and truthful life. That in itself gives me peace.

Mattie: Your post is helping me the most hon. Yes, that could be God's plan afterall... to have Dave "found out" via another means, and not from my actions, and therefore protecting the future relationships with my sons. Thank you so much for sharing that thought. Really, Thank you. ((((((((( matilde ))))))))) I am SO SORRY for the devastation you are going through... I've read some of your thread last night, but haven't taken the time to respond. You two will make it, just as long as your H does HIS part. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

turtlehead: Yes, I will update as much as I can after meeting with the lawyer on Monday morning. As usual, I may not be able to post all of the details on here, b/c I don't want to give the ex and his family a "heads up" on my next legal move. They can find stuff out when my lawyer deems it appropriate. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Karen

I'm not angry.

I don't think I will be either.

This is a GOOD thing.

I thought I'd be reeling in anger by now, over knowing that he's not going before a judge on the charges.

But you know what? I know that he knows he's guilty. Can you even imagine having to live with that inside of you? I feel guilty when I tell my kids about Santa, the Easter bunny, and the toothfairy... I just cannot imagine how someone could live with themselves with such major violations of human dignity. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I really do pity my ex.

I pray for him to see the errors in his ways. In a 'perfect world', he would admit to his wrongdoings, and heal. But unfortunately, he is too afraid to do that, and in too much denial of his own actions that have gotten him where he is. Sadly, he will continue to run away from his problems, perhaps never fully realizing that he is trying to run away from himself.

Anyways... my point here is that I'm at peace. I'm almost "talked out" of the situation, probably b/c I know I did my very best, and thensome, to protect my family (and others).

I am looking forward to my lawyer's appt tomorrow morning. I have some new information to give her (some of Eric's memories of his dad, which are NOT happy ones, that he shared with his counsellor in the last few weeks). I like knowing my plan... and right now, things are, pardon the use of the word here, a little bit "foggy". <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Karen

((((((((((Karen))))))))))

Let us know how the appointment goes tomorrow morning.

Topie,
There's an article in today's paper on the wife of the pedophile priest from Massachusetts, James Porter, who may be let go. He molested perhaps 200 children, eventually left the priesthood to marry and have four children. One child said he was molested by his father and committed suicide last year.

How could this guy be considered for parole?

I thought of you in reading the article. Take care of those kids...
Cherished