I just cant do it! I just did a major LB and told him to go be with her if that is what he wants. He wont talk to me. I have asked him to be honest and open, but he wont talk to me. Finally he confessed that he is talking to her thru work. Well, I knew that...but what about? He says he asks her how she is and they both say they miss each other. I told him that he must give up the contact or this will never work!

I continued to ask him what he wants...he said he doesn't know. He said that Friday's sexual encounter wasn't exactly meaningful, that he had no feelings for me. I said so you are basing this on ONE encounter. He said last week he was good and willing to give the marriage a go, but now he is not sure.

this is just crap. I told him that this has absolutely killed me and he has no idea cuz he so caught up in his freakin Fantasy land. I told himn to go find another place so he can have all the sex he wants iwth her...cuz that is all it will be..Sex, sex, sex...

I have tried so hard to show him my love. I touch him, call him, etc...He doesn't do any of that for me. He just keeps pushing me further away. I am fed up..Yes, I know it is very early in recovery, but how much is a BS supposed toput up with before they lose their love bank deposits. Mine are in the extreme red zone. His heart just isn't here. He is not committed to this as I am and I am tired of it. Maybe I should just let him go. He finds any excuse to NOT be with me. works on his cars. On the computer...goes out...he swears he has not been with her. He wont sit next to me on the couch, in bed..etc...I cuddle with him in the middle of the night and he almost pushes me away.

Tell me again...why am I here <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Married~11 years, together 13
3 beautiful boys; 8, 5 and 3

momto3,

I'm no expert, but maybe you should pull back a little bit.

It's easy to try TO hard. If you're trying hard enough for the both of you, take a step back, and let him try a little bit.

Your anger is building, you're starting to LB, inhale, you're in a tough spot. I stated in my other post, that when my FWH and I decided he would end the A, and we would reconcile and rebuild the M, I expected to hear birds and angels singing. Sadly this isn't the case.

I know you're frustrated right now, and have every right to be.

I don't think Plan B is the way to go, and it sounds like that's where you think you're headed.

He's still in FOG, but try to remember that you can only HELP him through his withdrawal.

I asked my FWH, what about your feelings for OW ? He said... whatever feelings I thought I had will fade without anyplace to go.

It doesn't sound that your H is truly in Withdrawal yet, because of the contact.

Step back, think, don't act. Just remember you have value, and courage. Your continued confidence and support will eventually speak volumes to him. Right now he just can't see it. He will. Hang in there.

Mrs. Mom --

Have you thought about focusing on yourself for a while? You pointed it out yourself: You are LBing right now and your post is a pretty complete picture of an LB-fest. Dr. Dad is going to read what you said here.... is it going to help?

I understand your pain and your anger and your fury. Like I told Dr. Dad in his post, I've played each of the roles in this godawful drama. And for you to best play this role .... is to step away from this entire situation for a while. Is that Plan B? Not necessarily, no.

When do you decide on Plan B? It's -not- based on what your spouse is doing. Dr. Dad is going to either end contact with OW or not. We can hope and pray that he does.... but that's not what decides Plan B.

You decide on Plan B when you need to protect your own physical and mental and emotional health so much that your love for your husband is no longer a reason. This is a traumatic situation for you AND him. You both have the opportunity to remove yourselves from the trauma (drama) and begin to lead a different life.

So take a step back from it. Tell me... what does the rest of your life look like? Have you seen it lately?

Mom,
I agree with betrayed, you need to calm down and pull back a little. I know it is so unfair, but the recovery of your M depends mostly on you for now. You need to find ways to reward good behavior. When you expect too much too soon, you will push him away. Yes he needs to know that contact is not acceptable, but the fact is that contact will probably continue for a while. I really thing his fog is lifting, but it takes a long time. Just let him know how much continued contact hurts you, but try to avoid LBs.

You are not condoning him behavior, but you are trying to make a safe place for him to land. If he feels threatened, he will hide from you. Eventually the fog will lift and he will become more remorseful. Also, try to hold things together for now. Plan B is a way to break contact, but it is also risky. I beleive you are better off with him in the home. It gives you opportunities to show him your love. Try to focus on your own changes and less on his. You have no control over him, but you can influence him. Please hang in there and give it more time. You are making progress.

Christ's Love,
Roman121

Mom, this is going to get nowhere if he stays in contact with the OW. Every contact puts you both right back to D-Day in terms of recovery. It is like a recovering alcoholic taking a little drink now and then, pretty soon they are right back to full blown drinking. They NEVER recover. That is where this is heading.

The affair will not end until contact ends. It is going to have to come down to a choice between this job and his marriage, I am afraid. This situation is made even worse by an environment that actually ENCOURAGES adultery, according to what he says.

Now, this is not to say that withdrawal is easy, but it is virtually IMPOSSIBLE when contact continues to take place. You can EXPECT him to be moody and withdrawn for several weeks even without contact.

Now, let's address your lovebusters. You do need to discuss these issues with him, but you CANNOT AFFORD to lovebust him right now. PLEASE STOP THIS NOW. Every lovebuster you batter him with, only makes the OW MORE attractive. You are HELPING the OW when you lovebust him.

Rather than batter him, stop pushing him. Go give him a pat on the back and tell him you know he is going through hell right now but that it won't be that way forever. Tell him you are sorry he feels so bad but that you are here for him.

When is your next appt with Steve Harley?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have tried so hard to show him my love. I touch him, call him, etc...He doesn't do any of that for me. He just keeps pushing me further away. I am fed up.. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I know you are in pain. I've been there myself, I remember. That said, here comes the 2x4. You have got to put way all these expectations you have Mom. You are smothering your H right now with all of your ecpectations. The tighter you squeeze, the more you expect and the more disappointed you become the more he's going to feel like he needs to run away. If you do not get control of yourself, you will ruin any chance your marriage has of recovering. I know it's not fair, but simply, it is up to you at this point.

Your H is trying and that's more than many BS get. So stay focused on the tiny positives now and give him support. He's simply not capable of any more at this point. If you stop LBing and give him some room your time will come. There is no magic pill to fast forward recovery, it is long and slow and TORTUOUS! Get rid of your long term expectations and concentrate on being civil and not LBing as a daily short term goal. This race isn't won by forcing your H's feelings and emotions to change on your time table, it's won being loving and compassionate and by rewarding small positive baby steps. As long as you have expectations you will continue to be disappointed. Put them on the back burner for awhile and be grateful that he's willing to try. You can't force a rose to bloom mom, if you insist on forcing it your going to kill it and miss the beauty recovery can bring.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by MelodyLane:
[Q] Mom, this is going to get nowhere if he stays in contact with the OW. Every contact puts you both right back to D-Day in terms of recovery. It is like a recovering alcoholic taking a little drink now and then, pretty soon they are right back to full blown drinking. They NEVER recover. That is where this is heading. [/Q]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Oh, tell me something I dont know! We just took a 2 hour ride out to his clinic. Gave me a lot of time to THINK! The more I thought the more mad I got! The madder I got the more I just wanted to beat him with a 2 x 4! I can only imagine what the hell he is telling his OW on the phone when he is talking to her! I mean here I am, giving him all I've got, THINKING that things are going well and thinking he is in withdrawal...he's not in freakin withdrawal. Yea, withdrawal from not talking to her that day. I feel like I am going absolutely NO WHERE! He is not committed. Thought he was, then when he saw her on Tuesday, that all went to sh*t! He was a different person Monday, Tuesday he was the Old WS...This weekend he is WH again.


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The affair will not end until contact ends. It is going to have to come down to a choice between this job and his marriage, I am afraid. This situation is made even worse by an environment that actually ENCOURAGES adultery, according to what he says. [/QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Tell me something else I dont know! I have told him over and over again he has got to NOT go to that nursing home...To give it up...whatever it takes. He did call them on Tuesday and tell them he would be in that afternoon when she gets off of work. They told him he had to come during the mroning hours...some bs about no medaide on staff. BULL SH*T! so he goes in, when he gets there they all say "you really rocked OW world, you should talk to her" so he does...and BAM...you know the rest! Yes, these people at this place want him to be with OW...I am nothing to them. OW is their "friend" and they dont want OW to get hurt. PUKE!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Now, this is not to say that withdrawal is easy, but it is virtually IMPOSSIBLE when contact continues to take place. You can EXPECT him to be moody and withdrawn for several weeks even without contact. [/QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Of course...I am ready for that..but he is not in withdrawal. He is still contacting her. I could deal with this if he was in TRUE withdrawal. But we are not getting anywhere in recovery with OW still in picture. God, It is like taling to a brick wall with him. he will say, "i know, I know, I have to stop conatct." No sh*t sherlock. 12 freakin days of WHAT!!!! NOTHING!!! We could have been half way thru this crap by now.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Now, let's address your lovebusters. You do need to discuss these issues with him, but you CANNOT AFFORD to lovebust him right now. PLEASE STOP THIS NOW. Every lovebuster you batter him with, only makes the OW MORE attractive. You are HELPING the OW when you lovebust him.
Rather than batter him, stop pushing him. Go give him a pat on the back and tell him you know he is going through hell right now but that it won't be that way forever. Tell him you are sorry he feels so bad but that you are here for him.[/QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Do you know how many pats on the back I am giving him. I know I cant love bust him, and really today is the first day only because I found out he was still calling her. It all adds up now. Just like CV55, they are both still in contact. Not wonder it is so hard. DUH! Where are our heads. Are we that stupid. I told him I am NOT the OW and I will never be the OW so if he expects me to BE LIKE OW, then forget it. I cant. I am not like her, nor will I ever be like her in bed. I am my own person. I told him to take the damn viagra. He said he would tonight...But right now I am soooo angry...That is why I am HERE instead of out THERE with HIM! I had to much time to think in the car.

It makes me sick to my stomach that here I am giving my heart and soul to this man and he is still giving his to OW. Telling her misses her...What the hell is that. I can only imagine!
"oh baby, I miss you so much..just give it afew more weeks and we can be together forever."..


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">When is your next appt with Steve Harley? [/QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">His is Tuesday at 8:00 AM..he hasn't even done his HW...Tell you something???

Mine is Wednesday at 10:00!

Mel...I am not mad at you! Your posts trully help me thru my pain. I am mad at this whole thing. WS have no clue what it is like to be the BS and it sucks! It hurts. Just like someone else said it like finding out you only have 3 months to live!!! Thank you very much for all your support! This weekend has sucked! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Mom,

Boy DT3B is good, really good. Had a lot of us fooled, not just you. OK. So he's been in continuous contact. Recovery has not begun. And it won't until she is competely out of the picture. You know that. We know that. He probably knows it on some level.

The thing is, I think if he leaves you and the kids for her, he will quickly realize what a mistake that is. He will be like a yo-yo going back and forth, not happy here, not happy there. Ugh. If he would just stay put where he belongs (at home with you) he would see good results in time. I know, I know, in one ear....

I agree with the others that not LBing is the best route for you. I know you are not feeling like making love to this man tonight, but ya know, he is making a kind of overture when he says he'll take the viagra tonight. Let him. In fact, give it to him (between your breasts! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> )and then tell him to rub YOUR back and let his hands play all over YOUR body while the medicine gets in his system. If he gets pleasure, great. Make it all about you and let him come along for the ride. I think he'll come out of his woe-is-me shell.

Sometimes these rotten times have to just come out nowhere and the BS's reaction shakes something loose in the WS. I think it is time for you to shake something loose without a major LB.

I'll be praying for you tonight.

~ Snow

Oh boy, what can I say! Today has been a BAD LB day for me! I am just so angry. all along I thought he was moving forward and he isn't. AFter my last post, I left the house and drove down to the ocean. I wanted to sit in the sand and just watch the waves. Well I got down there and they've got the seawall all closed off and it was too cold anyway, so I got back in the Burb and drove back home.

He followed me to the bedroom asking how I got into the house cuz he had locked the door. my DS5 let me in. haha...He said he had packed up "just in case"...just in case of what...well, I told him I would be the one leaving. He then said he was going to take these TV's to his office (2 hours away)...I grabbed my keys and said NO, he was not leaving in MY truck! anyway, I packed a bag and told him I wanted to go to a hotel so I could just think myself. I proceeded to tell him that if he really wanted to leave tonight and if he did that he better think hard cuz if he wants to come back, I may not be here to let him back in. He was so cold...very distant. He could care less....

OK, so we talked for a while, boils down to me asking him what he wants me to do. He said just let it play itself out. Play what out I asked. I told him He CANNOT see her again. It only puts us back to DAY 1 all over again. He said he has no feeling for me and he is afraid he wont get them back. I told him I have done everything I can to CHANGE the way I was BEFORE A but I cannot do it alone, he must be committed too and right now he is not. I know I haven't given it enough time...He is afraid he wont be able to get the feelings back.

I cannot do this alone. He clearly has NO desire to do anything to change. Today he was the same JERK he has been the past few years, which is ultimately why we got so distant in the first plac.e I remember the feelings I had BEFORE A and they were because of the way he was acting today. I cant stand this person. This person has to change, and what if he cant. What if he doesn't want to. I cant live with this person. This person wis the reason why we became the way we did.

Anyway, bottom line is I guess he is going to do what he can to NOT see her or call her. I told him he needs to quit. He got mad and said "NO SHE needs to quit...why cant SHE quit...She is a freakin LVN and SHE is trying to run me out of MY job". he was mad when he said this. I need to just give him time...

I was so bad today. How can I repair the damage I;'ve done now. I feel like I just found out about it al over again. I feel sick! I've cried all day long. Havn'et done that in a while! I also told him he has shattered me. BOy, I just LBed his [censored] up and down today! Dont I have the right to get mad though.

Oh yes, about the phone calls...he SAYS it has only been a few business calls. She pages him and he calls back. At the end of the call on Friday he said he missed her. He said he hasn't called her everyday...and I haven't seen any calls on the cell phone.

<small>[ April 04, 2004, 07:07 PM: Message edited by: momto3boys ]</small>

Mom, I am sorry this has been so rough. It is never easy, I am sorry to say. But you can only make it WORSE by getting mad and lovebusting him. Yes, you have every right to get angry, but showing your anger right now is shooting yourself in the foot.

If you really want to hurt yourself THAT BAD, please just go in the bathroom and slap your face, ok? The consequences will be much less severe than lovebusting him! Just remember, every lovebuster HELPS THE OW. The goal here is to HELP YOU, not the the OW.

Just calm down, ok? This will blow over if quit reacting to it. You will be fine. Can you call Harley in the AM and see if he can talk to your H tomorrow?

H works in the AM and wont be home until after 2:00 at which point SH stops phone calls. I am just so depressed today. I feel awful about the whole thing. I think that I just needed to let him know how angry and hurt I am, but I know not the right time. I have bottled this up for over a month now, he has NO REMORSE...When will that come out! when will he show me how sorry he is. What if he never does? he wsa so cold today. He said he just has not feelings for me. And he is afraid he never will! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Mom, you know I feel for you. Last week when you wrote to me and said you'd send Dad over to my H's thread to help him out, I thought, "I don't think Dad's ready to be helping another WS in withdrawal." It's amazing how similar our stories are. Last Sunday I thought we were a whole month with NC. Finding out for the past 2 weeks he saw her once, and then was calling her and saying "I love you" Fing flipped me out. Like you I thought we had a month behind us, but in my gut I felt like the recovery was going extra badly.

My H hasn't had contact for over a week. He seemed better, then I LBed him last night because sometimes we are only human. He has been a disaster all day. Wanted to contact her. His anxiety is off the charts. And like you I sometimes wonder if it is at all worth it.

Something that I realized I was doing was trying to help H through his grief too much. Doing whatever I could to ease his pain and hopefully speed the process along. You know what, I realized it's his friggin grief and he has to go through it. Either the pain will be too much and he'll fold, or he'll get through it and commit to us, not some idiotic fantasy.

These OW's are very cunning. It is a shame that her coworkers are supporting this crap. That is your reality. It so sucks! Be there if your H needs you, but also back off if you need to. Reclaim your self-esteem. I'm praying for you and please pray for me. This is the hardest thing I have ever gone through. And we're here because somebody else totally "F"ed up. CV

mt3b:

As you probably know, I was the WS. Someone put up a post recently that really hit me hard and made so much sense. It was something like, "Living with lies is exhausting." Sooner or later your H is going to be sick of it. It's a nightmare. I don't know how I did it for so long. I felt disgusting and filthy every time I lied to my W. I agree that your H needs to stop all contact. He needs to find another gig. He needs to do this to save his M, but also for his own self-respect. He is in a position of authority, and he is setting a terrible example. Yes, co-workers might somehow be "supportive" of this; but I can guarantee you that all respect for him is gone. There is nothing worse than losing respect. It's not something that can be bought back. No one can ask someone else to give it. It has to be earned.

I am sorry for all you are going through; but you will be all right. In the same way yu want your H to know that he will be all right once he lets OW go, you will be all right once we can get him out of his fog. It is tough for him. OW is "good" right now. There are no problems dealing with OW. It's all sex and fun and good times. But that's an immature way to go thorugh life and an unstable foundation for a future relationship.

NC is the answer. I know you already know that, but there is no way the M will recover until that begins.

WN, thanks for your post! Now can you go to my H thread and post it too! Many, Many people have told him this, but it just doesn't sink in for him.! Right now he's got his car packed up "just in case"...just in case for what I ask? Talk about immature! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by momto3boys:
<strong> WN, thanks for your post! Now can you go to my H thread and post it too! Many, Many people have told him this, but it just doesn't sink in for him.! Right now he's got his car packed up "just in case"...just in case for what I ask? Talk about immature! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">uh oh, that is not good. I suspect he is waiting for the next lovebuster so he can have an excuse to leave. He will go check into a hotel and meet with the OW.

Please don't give him the ammunition he is looking for!

This will blow over if you play it right and hold back on the LBs!

Melody...we had a long talk...if you read my previous post previous to the last one...When I went down to the ocean, that is when he packed up his car. He has since told me that I need to just let it all play out...We had a long talk, not sure where it went though cuz he left, with two kids, afterwards and is not back yet. He took some tv's to the clinic.

When I got home from my drive to the ocean, I told him I was gong to leave, not him. And I packed up my stuff. He was going to let me go, but then he started talking to me and I backed down. I then asked him what he wanted me to do. If he comes back home and says he will leave, then I will be the one to get the hotel room. I will come back to watch the kids for him, but he is not leaving this house.

I know I am just doing everything wrong today. it has been a BAD day here in our neck of the woods. or lack of! I am just so emotionally drained and I think I may be PMSing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

When he gets home, we will talk some more and hopefully i will have calmed down a bit to NOT LB him. I did call him and ask him if he packed up all his dirty laundry. He said it was all in the car. I asked him if he had planned on unpacking it when he got home. He said "I'm thinking about it" I said "ok, well are you gogng to pack it BACK UP again?" he laughed. I didn't think it was really funny...anyway, I will let you know how it goes later on.

MT3B

I just put up a post on H board.

You are having a terrible day. I am sorry about that, but H should be sick over that. The idea that I ever caused my W any paid troubles me to no end. During my A I was not the person I was before hand and I am not the same person now. In a lot of ways, when you talk to H, he is someone you do not know. In a lot of ways he would not recognize himself. DON'T GET MAD AT HIM.

Sit and speak with him. Ask him to imagine his life 5 years from now. 10 years from now. What does he want and need to be happy? Where will his priorities be at that time? Remind him when he was in college it was not to drink and have fun; but the end result. Getting his degree and reaching his goal.

I am not going to lie to you or anyone else. Withdrawel was terrible. It still is. Even though OW has caused me and my W a great deal of grief, I still sometimes miss the good times. It is sick. I am ashamed of myself. But that is the reality. Who knows --- maybe it makes me a good guy. Better that I regret losing someone I cared about than that I can just forget they existed. I don't know. Either way, I was a jerk.

But I will say that I am happier now, with my wonderful W than if I stayed in the fantasy of the A. Are there still problems to work out? Yes. But I have my honesty again. I have regained my dignity. I have my pride and I have my self-respect. And those are things I will never give away or let anyone take away from me again.

Your H needs to join this club. It's a great place to be.

I just want you to know that there was a time when my H didn't think he could love me again.
He now can't even remember feeling that way. He doesn't want to remember some of the stuff he told me. Back then he told me he didn't feel connected to me but did to her, he was in luuuvvv wth her...the whole soulmate crap...

With patience and perserverence things can turn around for you. It may not be in your timing but it can and probably will turn around. Your H has too much to lose if he gives you and the boys up for OW. He knows this on a rational and pragmatic level. He just needs to get his emotions under control.

We are on the other side of it, finally. After ending his major 4 year PA in '98, in 2002 he had an 8 month EA (PA twice) with another OW before really acknowledging what he could and couldn't do about friendships with people of the opposite sex. I really thought he knew when back in '98. We had even renewed our vows in the church in '99. He sang in the choir, took communion every week, but still had another A.

We are fine now. We understand about care and protection. In the last 9 or 10 years we've had some uncomfortable times sexually and we've had some great, sustained, highly charged times sexually. We went through the typical rebonding. I went through lots of times being susceptable to some awful triggers and bad memories. I have experienced some awful times and the best times.

We have made it through it all with a better marriage than pre-A. Marriage Builders has been a big help. I've made some attitude adjustments and he has too.

It is possible for both of you too. It just may take longer than you like. Pray for him. I'll pray for both of you too. Prayer helped immensely. Don't lose faith.

Edited to say that I realize that my post may seem as encouraging as I hoped given the time frame I dealt with.

Your H was only involved with his OW 2 months, though I'm sure the EA or flirting started long before that. My H wasn't as in love with the last A and the withdrawal was much shorter. Your H's withdrawal my not be that long once he can really start NC. His NC may take on some heavy financial consequences so he is probably going to drag his feet. But still, I don't think you'll be going through this for years. It just isn't going to be all rosy overnight or in a month or even two. I hope he doesn't have to totally play it out with OW. I don't think your H is the type to need to do that...I hope he isn't anyway.

<small>[ April 04, 2004, 10:12 PM: Message edited by: 4give ]</small>

Mom...the pressure is getting to both of you. I think several of us have suggested that the two of you get out of town...now (or as soon as you can).

My H and I treated recovery as if it was the most important thing in the world...at first he had major doubts...but knew that he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't give it 110%.

We got out of town several times in those early recovery days. Our families knew about the A and were very supportive of our recovery efforts. They live 200 miles away but made the trip a few time to watch the kids.

This is the time to call upon the ones who love the two of you and tell them you need help with the kids to get through this.

I actually took a leave of absence for 15 days...so I could devote myself.

Money isn't everything...he can leave his practice for a few days....people do it all teh time for family emergencies and that is what this is!!!!!!

You two need time away from stresses of job and kids...time away from threat of contact with OW...time to reconnect at slower more relaxed pace.

When we went away we didn't even go out to eat much...we got lots of deli foods and kept them in room fridge and ordered room service. We did work out together and take long walks. We took baths together, naps together, made love, watched pay per view movies...watched sunset with a shared bottle of wine...you get the picture...we relaxed and reconnected.

IT WAS MAGICAL....TOOK MONTHS OFF OUR RECOVERY!!!