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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 4
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 4 |
How do I stop from getting into screaming match with hurt husband I know I am only pushing him further away!
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,842
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,842 |
ARe you the BS or WS...if you are the BS you just sit there and listen to him...WS, i cant answer that, but OT's will be around i am sure
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by tlh:
<strong> How do I stop from getting into screaming match with hurt husband .... </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Don't scream.
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 5,798
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 5,798 |
Why are you screaming?
Where does your anger come from?
Where does your hurt come from?
In being unfaithful, you have hurt your husband.
A spouse may deserve to be divorced, but no spouse deserves to be cheated on.
So...stop screaming and think. You set up this situation. You chose to be unfaithful and have known for 10 months. Your H just discovered that his life is different than he realized, that you are a different woman than the one he thought he knew, so be understanding that he is reeling from shock and disappointment.
If you want your marriage to work, be remorseful, explain what you understand, answer his questions.
<small>[ April 05, 2004, 09:07 PM: Message edited by: Lor (Lor) ]</small>
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 8,297
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 8,297 |
Do you mean he gets angry and you retaliate?
I'm the WW and I accepted that if my H got really angry, and he did when he just found out, that that was what I deserved. He was in shock and I can only add to what was said above - I had two years to deal with all this for him it was completely new and a total, total shock.
I didn't scream but I cried an awful lot.
I posted to you on your first post. Please read it and my story because I think it will help you a great deal.
Jenny
<small>[ April 05, 2004, 09:40 PM: Message edited by: KiwiJ ]</small>
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 8,297
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 8,297 |
Have you posted your story anywhere - it does help to have a bit of background.
Sorry, just went back to your first post and saw a bit more info. I can only say again listen to everyone here, they're not experts just really good people who really know what they're talking about because they've all been there from one side of the fence or the other.
Jenny
<small>[ April 05, 2004, 09:19 PM: Message edited by: KiwiJ ]</small>
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,474
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,474 |
I have been in an abusive M for 11 years and my H broke my arm 2 years ago when I was arguing with him about a woman with whom in fact he had been having an A.
What I have learned is that the attitude that I need to have is that I want both of us to be happy and to find solutions that make both of us happy. A solution that makes one of us happy is not acceptable.
Then you stop screaming and try to find solutions that work for both.
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