I said that hurting me came easy to him, that having sex with someone he barely knew was more important than my heart. His respose was "I have no defense for that, she's right. What I WANT matters more to me than she does"

How can I fight that? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> If he knows and admits that what he wants is more important to him than I am, more important than all our years together, more important than my heart. HOW do I keep it from happening again?

He swears it will never happen again. I think it will because he really isn't doing anything to figure out what made him do it. The C gave him an assignment, to figure out his "triggers" or "stressers" he hasn't done anything that I am aware of to do that.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I have no defense for that, she's right. What I WANT matters more to me than she does </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Wow. That had to be really hard to hear. As I'm sure more exp'd MB'rs will tell you, you have to remember that he's still in the fog. He really has no grasp of what he's saying to you.

I hope some old timers come help you out - I don't know what to say. I just wanted to let you know you're not alone......

I believe it also to be the fog. When my H best friend confronted him about having an A with his W, H said that his happiness was more important than anything in the world and he had to do what he wanted period.
last year on my birthday as I took a motorcycle class for him, I called him to see what we were going to do for my birthday dinner and even though he was through with her, he said I'm spending the day with my brother and his family, I don't care what you want my needs are more important.

And even though it may seem like your husband isn't doing any work his subconcious mind is working and you'll be surprised how much is actually being done.

Plus you can't always put the time limit you want, I can't believe I said that me the I want results now person, our C just had me repeat something in our session about how H was treated by his mom according to what his brother told me. I have told him this three or four times but now he is ready to acknowledge it and asked why I hadn't said it before. DUHHHH I have, but now he's ready to deal with it.

I thought my H wasn't doing the work for along time, and now I feel he does it reluctantly so just keep plugging along yours will too.