Heh heh... Well, I got a phone call from my mom today. Seems that my dad was out getting their car washed when he bumped into ex's best friend's dad. This guy's a MAJOR LOSER. (Friend's dad, not mine!) Anywho, seems that he spilled some beans... that my ex had confided to her friend that she might be prego. Now... first of all this guy admitted that he'd been sworn to secrecy, and still blabs. Nice. Second, I'm not sure if this is referring to a long past incident of a similar nature, where ex was seriously "confused" - and incorrect - about being pregnant (her an OM had broken up around then).

Third, if it IS true, it's kinda interesting, mainly from a clinical perspective... I mean, OM is not going to be alive in 10 years - 98% certainty. He's obviously not that healthy. He does seem to be able to stay in the US and make enough of a living to... support a family??! As a student with a side job, with her having to take time away to have a child??! I guess rational thought isn't important in such matters, though - we all know that. Attraction isn't a choice. After all this time - you'd wonder how it can still be maintained with such high emotion - I suppose injecting drama can keep things going longer than they should normally. When this one wears off... maybe she can tell her child about the wonderful relationship she had with her father - and tell a future husband how it all fits together in a wonderful way... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I could actually see this as being a current fact... When she recently realized that it's all over - the game has ended, and she's getting older - 32 to be exact - it's kind of a sobering thing for a woman. Maybe she decided that it doesn't matter who the father is, so long as she has one, period. Wonder what the last name will be... she still hasn't made the effort to change her name - and to be honest, I'd really like her to - she doesn't deserve my name - it quite bugs me.

Whatever... I realize this isn't a concern of mine, and I'm OH so glad to not be drawn into this level of high drama.

Some of you might recall that I sent off a letter to her parents a while back. They sent me a short note back... very touching, simple, and I appreciated it VERY much. It also seems evident that they're still "in the dark" about many issues. I know, I know - could have blasted it all on the front pages ages ago - you know, I'm happy with where I am, so I'm not going to second guess things like that now.

Another side note... got back from a visit home. I had lunch with a friend of mine who had a WS, a divorce, and just got remarried last fall at the ripe old age of 38, after being divorced for 8 years... his new W is 33 and foxy... (not sure why I note that with a grin...) And he said, "It's both the worst and the best thing" about this whole experience. And also, "And in the end, it doesn't really matter." I.e., who cares what *they* did, it's about what *we* did... was a great chat.

A friend of mine I met on Shasta is supposed to be meeting me for lunch this week. She's bringing along some pics. And then on Saturday I'm going to a baseball game with a friend who'll be getting back from Mexico shortly. She's e-mailed me a few times, might even get together on Friday too. But don't worry, I have 4/17 set aside for u guys!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by J.R.:
<strong>But don't worry, I have 4/17 set aside for u guys!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hey ... you better be ... lol!. I understand that you are a hot comodity in single scene of bay area. You have 2 freinds w/ potential already & you are wasting no time at all <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> . At least you wait until you are Dv'ed before window shopping ... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .

Honestly, if I have to choose between my old M minus A and today (A & Dv'ed) ... I choose today. It was painfull but I learned and I know I will have a fulfilling M with my next mate.

Welcome back to bayarea.

-rh-

Hey world traveler U,

Good to hear from you. Better yet, the fact that all the drama/trauma going on with your X and you are still able to see clearly.

To add a baby into the mixed A? How sad. Yet that is the choice some make.

You though, are one I am proud of. Like the Phoenix rising from the ashes, that's how we felt a few years ago, 'eh? (in the dumps/ashes) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Now we can see we have survived and moved forward.

Sidenote: H can't be the designated driver on the 17th. He took a spill and broke his ankle, actually more like his leg. May have to have surgery to become the bionic man. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
But we are still going. Let me know where is a good place to meet.

take care,
L.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Glad to hear your life is so full JR! As for your ex...I'm not too surprised. Once you start down that path of bad decisions, it doesn't take long to make more. Sad.

How are the kitties??

Well, I will admit that it's hard *still* not to be "offended" on some primal level... "What?? My DNA isn't good enough for ya??!" and all. A pretty unconscious reflex.

But then again, she's at a point where anyone's DNA is better than no-ones, I guess! And until I hear for sure, it's all gossip anyhow.

I find it hard to believe that she can simply brush it all under the rug... I guess that's fog for ya. She's going to have to live in that forever I guess.

Too bad she didn't stick to her original line of "I don't want anything from you"... she's instead cut my hard-earned savings in half... I've accepted that as the price I need to pay to earn my freedom from this sordid environment. What a sick and sad place - her, her friend, her friend's alcoholic father, her OM - yuck. I'm sure she still feels righteous indignance towards me, her path, etc. "It was all worth it"...? Whatever.

I'm still just feeling out what it means to date... window shopping... "practice"... whatever you want to call it. Now we can enjoy life - and be picky at the same time. Success can be measured by how much is being learned and how much pride we can feel, so I'm sure we're all having success!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

H4F, the kitties are doing well... I'm sure they'd still prefer to be outdoorsy, though. I'm going to try and put a web site together with some pictures, sometime soon I hope.

J.R.:

Holy cow and gadzooks! Even if it IS a rumor, one might wonder where it came from or what it tells about "reality", such as that may be...

Good 2 hear you're doing well.

I had hoped I could be in the area on the 17th (need 2 get up 2 Sacramanto 2 see my dad soon), but my W won't be home and I should probably stay at the house that weekend.

Darn,
-ol' 2long

<small>[ April 07, 2004, 05:05 PM: Message edited by: 2long ]</small>

JR,

As they say SNIZIT HAPPENS.

Who can begin to figure out why WS's (and X's) do what they do <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> And he said, "It's both the worst and the best thing" about this whole experience. And also, "And in the end, it doesn't really matter." I.e., who cares what *they* did, it's about what *we* did... was a great chat.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That was so well put - "It's not about what *they* did, it's about what *we* did." It made me think it was about who we have become no matter what the outcome of our marriages. Like redhat, I wouldn't trade where I am for anything. It's amazing how something good can come out of something soooooooo terrible.

That must be hard to accept. One thing JR, don't say to yourself "what I'm not good enough. It's probably that she thinks you are too good, that she doesn't deserve you. Oh the tangled web that they weave.

I am glad you are doing well, although I knew you would. You have an inner strength that come though on these boards. I used to look forward to your weekly updates and really thought (or maybe hoped) that your XW was comming out of the fog at one point. That thought didn't last long - the fog was too thick.

D.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by 2long:
<strong>I had hoped I could be in the area on the 17th (need 2 get up 2 Sacramanto 2 see my dad soon), but my W won't be home and I should probably stay at the house that weekend.

Darn,
-ol' 2long </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I knew it is 1-long shot <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> and we had been waiting 2long to see you <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .

-rh-

I decided 2 see my dad over Easter, so I'm up here this weekend, won't be next.

We'll do this SOMEDAY! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

-2long

aawwh 2L, we missed you. You are up Arnold's way more than ours. LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Maybe next time? 5/1 we might get together with a few MBers going to the 4/30 and 5/1 MB class. Wanna join? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

L.