Havent been posting in a long time..just lurking. Things have been really good lately.

til now...

He goes for his final hearing on his job Monday and I got to read all of the transcripts of his testimony. OMG, I can't believe the depths of his feelings for her...he told them that the two of knew it was wrong but just couldn't bear to stop seeing each other..God that hurts soooo much.

Then I find out that the park (by the intracostal) where we renewed our vows was across the way from where he met her 3 or 4 times a day, every 3 or 4 days.

When I asked him on that day "did you ever meet her there?" he said no. He lied.

I'm so upset. I've cried for 2 days. I took my rings off, and almost left (I was half way packed).

I'm going crazy, this is all bringing this up again.

And to top it off, slut will be there Monday to testify. He'll get to see her for the first time since last Jan.

I'm scared to death. Will this bring up all those powerful feelings? Is he going to start calling her again?

She's married now and just had a baby a few days ago, maybe she won't even come.

HELP!! I'm going crazy.

Hi margue,

If your not living in the past anymore then don't freak out.Ignore what the transcripts said.It's old dead history.Don't play the what if game ok? If things are going well,keep them that way and don't self destruct.

Keep your head held high and be strong at the hearing,look your best and just support each other thorugh this time and hopefully you'll get through it unscathed.Remember this is the best time to keep things calm and don't LB.Ask your FWH how HE feels and how you can both get through this TOGETHER.OW is married and has a baby now so try not to think the worst.

Good luck!

O

Hey octobergirl,

Forget about not LB, too late for that.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I'm so freaked out about him lying. When I asked him if he'd lied about anything else, his reponse was "I don't think so"... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

So which part of the last year was a lie?

The part that he's been faithful? The part that he hasn't had any contact with her?

How can I ever trust him again....

And then to have to see her again, it'll take every thing in me not to cuss her out!

I'm losing it...

Ummm.Just so I have a clearer picture,when was the A and when did it end and when was NC? I guess I got the impression that this all happened in January of 2003.Was it this last January,3 months ago? Then it hasn't been that long since NC.

Has your WH given you any reason otherwise not to be trusting? I know if he lied about meeting the OW that would upset you but remember that our WS' s are deceiving us all along and it would take a pretty calculated person to keep track of all those lies.What would count is how he is building that trust with you now by being accountable for his whereabouts and all e-mail and cell phone passwords,etc,etc.

If it has been only 3 months since the NC then again I can see why you would still be very concerned and untrusting of your WH at this point.

O

No, it's been since Jan. last year.

That's when NC was also sent, sometime after that. I don't remember exactly.

I just need a place to say this is ours, she can't be a part of it. NEVER!

I know it doesn't make sense to anyone but me.
I think he's starting to understand.
And I just can't bring myself to have SF with him. I just can't.....