I KNOW that thoughts of Plan Bing are totally inappropriate at the moment. Please all of you that legitimately are being forced to Plan B, don't hit me with too many 2x4's. Realize I am once again whining to all of you so I don't LB my lovely H.

OK, I guess in MB terms our Plan A is going fairly well. H's eyes actually teared up when telling me how great I am. Actually wanted to cry about it but feels he must hold back. That's another story. Somehow we got to talking this morning about his need for IC. What he is telling me makes sense, but it is really triggering my SH**. Basically he wants to get clear on what he wants to do, and not stay in our M because of everyone's doom and gloom forecast if he ends up with OW. We ended up also talking about this in MC this morning. Therapist told me my stance on working to heal the M is clear. H now has to figure out what he chooses. I was told that I need to back off on the positives of our M and let him figure things out.

OK, what's being triggered? Why the F do I get to sit back and WAIT for H to decide what he wants? How great for me! Let's see, I am totally supporting him, being the addiction hotline person whenever he needs to talk or call OW, cuddle with him throughout the night because he needs me, and am even engaging in SF. But that darn fantasy is still looming over his head. Every now and then I see glimpses of the fog lifting and reality settling in. Then he'll say what he said this morning about wanting to know he wants to work at our M. Like I know I want to be with him, who lied to me for months, and decimated my life. Wow, I'm so excited about staying in this M. I want to say, which I might have actually said, "Quit thinking about yourself. How about sticking with our 19 yr. M. How about thinking about you 2 boys? Get over your "F"ing self."

I don't want to wait around while he decides if he should choose me! I'm glad I'm talking to Harley because I keep telling H, in a very nice way, a part of me wants him to follow his bliss. If he thinks OW is so great, go for it!

Speaking of OW, I am really bad mouthing her lately to H. I know, not a good MB plan. I just can't stand this woman. I mentioned to h today did he consider one of her top ENs is financial security. He looked at me like, "So, what's wrong with that?"

OK, talk me down. I need intervention. At least until I talk to the infidelity guru. I'm better for the moment. Thanks! Now, I get to go to H's business, the scene of the A crime, so he can take the rest of the day off. It's so difficult for him to be there. Hey, I love looking at the leather couch that I know they were screwing on! Ain't life fun? CV

CV55,

Why a tought of plan B is inappropriate ?. You are a normal human being w/ feeling. I was the only one recomend plan B while back then. My reasoning back then is I am afraid that your LB$ will runs out before H is willing. Now you are working with SH (I did too) to get guidance from him and be totally up front of what you could handle (about yourself). He will tell you if you need to go plan B.

One word of suggestion from me ... now you has decided to plan A, you violated one of the thing that will drain your LB$ (2x4). You should not talk R or A (bad mouthing OW)... you know better than this. You LB him what do you expect the reaction that he will give you ?. Fix the cause the symptom will go away.

Hang in there & vent in here. -rh-

<small>[ April 07, 2004, 12:07 PM: Message edited by: redhat ]</small>

Please, someone hogtie this girl, quick! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Ok, CV, everytime you bash the Ho-Bag, you put him in a position to DEFEND her. When you attack her, you are attacking him. If you back off, he will stop being defensive and will eventually see her in a realistic light that is not tainted by LUST. That ain't going to happen as long as you become an OBSTACLE to that natural process.

So.....everytime you bash HB, you are not shooting her, but yourself.

And yes, I know it is not fair. It is not fair that you, the victim, should have to do all the repair work. Life is not fair. But you SIGNED ON FOR IT when you agreed to stay with him. Staying in a marriage so damaged is no bed of roses. Did you think you were signing on to a remake of an A&E chick flick? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

CV, I know this is hard. I know it is not fair. But please just hang on there and it will get better. A very normal part of recovery is feeling like CHUMP. But I promise you it does go away and you may very well end up with a marriage better than what you had. It will be a long year, so hang on for the ride, you will be ok.

Ok...look at it this way. You have not waded this far into the ocean of pure **** that your M now is, to turn around and swim back. I mean, you are three-quarters the way across. It stinks. You're tired. It is gross. You just want to puke. You can see little smelly lumpy nuggets with last nights corn bits in it. I mean, nothing glamourous here. But, keep swimming. On the other side is potential paradise. If you turn around and head back to the shore, it make or may not be better. So there are no assurances either way. You have gone this far...so, don't sink down now. You HAVE to be above all the ****. Don't drown in it. Don't stoop. Just be that classy, smart, better women that you are. And one day, you will have the undying devotion of your H, especially when he sees how much **** you put up with to salvage the M.

Do you like my **** analogy?

Whatever works! :-)

So stop it. Stop it now. Take a deep breath and know that all of this is pure, unadalterated (pun intended) crap, but you WILL get to the other side. You have done far too much work in a HORRIBLE situation to quit now.

<small>[ April 07, 2004, 12:46 PM: Message edited by: ChristyV ]</small>

Great analagy ChristyV -I'm in the same boat- look at my post on "where to go from here?"

This morning on my way in to work I was thinking about what all I've done for him lately and wondered - when is he going to do something for me? Afterall, I'm the one legitimately hurting here - he asked for what he's gotten - I didn't!

CV55 - I've read a lot of your posts and I've gained a lot of strength and knowledge from them - please don't give up!

Well you all made me laugh, as I'm sitting here in the chair that Little Miss Thing (or her new name Ho-Bag), used to sit daily. I feel like I have the cooties!

It is very weird to be here. H is having a much harder time here for obviously different reasons. I just get really p'd off. I can only imagine the gushing that went on when they were alone here. Gag me, and then I'll puke! I'm so glad H doesn't read my posts. I wouldn't have half the fun on this site.

Now to address your 2x4's. Redhat, I'm still not sure I get why you think Plan B is the way to go. Aren't these WSs in fogland a pain in the A%% to deal with? Isn't waffling a part of their gig? As Shattered Dreams has told me (Where is that man anyway?) us BSs need to give Emmy performances sometimes. Frankly I've heard some stories on here about the WS that actually make mine look cooperative. Now don't take this that I actually am thrilled to be with him right now. This whole thing sucks! Maybe my tolerance for pain is just lower than others here. Look at what M23B's has been going through!

Your point about badmouthing the little "B" is very valud. I need to get back to a place that I am indifferent to her. This anger is just coming out and I do need to vent here. I want H to see things so badly about her and the fantasy, but I can't make that happen. Your other point about not talking about our R I never thought of. You're right. I need to chill out. The man too deep in fog to discuss us. Thanks for the 2x4's.

ML, your line about the A&E chick flick had me LOL. I had to calm down so the new employee in the next office wouldn't hear me. The new man who by the way took the position OW was gunning for. Yes Baby! And I just started driving the company car that OW was promised by my H. Another Yeh Baby!

ChristV, The %%%% analogy works for me. Very accurate depiction of all of our current life situations. I told H I didn't want to be here. I'm here because of him. Frankly, H just isn't always looking so good to me these days. So swimming through the SH&& for him, with corn floating on top of it, just doesn't always seem worth it. Christy, you got your great humor back! I'm so glad.

twoboys, thanks for the encouragement! I will check out your posts!

I really need to exorcise this place. Get the
H-B's energy out of this place. Anyone know of a good exorcist. Maybe he can exorcise her out of H also. My unpaid work day is done. I'll check with you all later. CV

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by CV55:
[QB]
Your point about badmouthing the little "B" is very valud. I need to get back to a place that I am indifferent to her. This anger is just coming out and I do need to vent here.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have to tell you, CV, I get such a kick out of your posts. [not your suffering, of course!] You have a wonderful sense of humor and wit and are such a delight to talk to! I am just so sorry you have to endure all this.

But, it will take a long time to feel indifferent towards her. The wound is still too fresh. But you can come here and vent your anger anytime. That will be a great help in getting over her!

And it occurred to me that when y'all are well on the road to recovery and the wounds are not so raw, you can always RE-christen the work place and make NEW MEMORIES! After he is through withdrawal, you could be the workplace Ho-Bag and carry on with him at the office!

Ok...don't think I sound freaky, but you can pray a prayer of deliverance over that place.

I do seriously believe there are demons (just as real as those angels) trying to make our lives quite literally a living hell. And I used to be skeptical, but was able to view a prayer session of deliverance, and without sounding WAY WAY WAY too freaky, man o man, I believe now.

So, if you are interested, I can send you the prayer.

:-)

ML, thanks for appreciating my humor. I'm not sure sometimes if I'm the only one who gets it. I told H tonight that I am grateful that I have this humor. He catches me sometimes laughing out load and asks me why. I told him tonight about your chick flick comment. Of course not knowing the content of my post about plan Bing him, he didn't quite get it. But somehow in the midst of my grief I can sometimes see things that are so funny. I am grateful for those times. That man will miss me if he leaves. Anyway, this MB site and all of you have truly gotten me through this hell. it's a place to express all the pain, and to express the humor. Oh SH&&, I'm getting all teary eyed!

ChristyV, send me that prayer. I'll have to make sure and say it when the new guy isn't around. I don't want to totally freak him out. I'm sure the guy thinks we are soooo stable since I am helping out so much at the business. Hope he didn't hear me talking to myself today basically saying "F"ing "B" under my breath every 2 seconds. Oh yeh, I'm just fine being at the scene of that crime.

Actually Melody I did have the thought about rechristening the place. Right now it's just a little too creepy for me. I asked H if maybe he should get rid of the leather couch. He told me he doesn't have a problem with it. Well buddy, I've got a problem with it. I don't even want to sit on it.

I am so glad I am talking to Harley on Friday. H told me today that he really got a lot out of MC, and was grateful I let him do most of the talking. He said he really doesn't want to be with me because everyone tells him that. He wants to come to that conclusion himself. My shrink told me about a month ago I need to let H do his own psychological work. I know I do. It's just on a gut level I want to smack the crap out of him, and then go on my merry way. This little twit who admired him. Oh Please! Family committment is one of H's top 5 needs. I don't think that is one of OW's.

Ok, my vent is over for the time being. Thanks again! CV

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by CV55:
<strong>Now to address your 2x4's. Redhat, I'm still not sure I get why you think Plan B is the way to go. Aren't these WSs in fogland a pain in the A%% to deal with? Isn't waffling a part of their gig? As Shattered Dreams has told me (Where is that man anyway?) us BSs need to give Emmy performances sometimes.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You see ... some WS never intended to leave BS anyway !. In their heart and mind the know it but the lure of A is very strong. I do believe your WS is one of those. If OP is ready to take your WH I would not even suggest you to do plan B at all. WS could be woken up quickly by 2x4 plan B to see that you are the better choice. The other reason that I did point out before that his fog might outlast your LB$ <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> . The time to plan B was way back then not now. Why ? like many others have pointed out to you already, you have been putting way too much investment in this plan A. Also you have SH's help to point out to WH that you are the better choice. So suck it up (sorry) and vent, scream (as if we could hear you <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> ) and pound that keyboard (as if we could see you <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> ) here.

Stay close w/ SH to monitor your LB$ and if you can't hold your LB'ng. He will tell you when to plan B.

Keep venting here & don't say a word to H about OW or A or even R.

-rh-

rh, I don't mean to be stupid here, but how have I been putting too much investment in Plan A? Isn't Plan A all about filling the WSs love bank? I'm soooo sick of H's love bank! Plus, isn't Plan B about kicking them out because we can't stand that they won't end the A? Except for thos phone calls he hasn't been screwing around with her. I'm confused. In SAA the couple was in Plan A and the WW was actively in the A.

I will try very hard not to mention OW (The ho-B), the A (which I'm beyond pissed off about), and our R (which who the HE** knows what it is). Ok, I'm going to follow your advice. Just don't be angry if I'm back here tomorrow having fallen off the MB wagon.

So are you enjoying the single life? What's it like outside of prison? Thanks! CV

Plan A is not fillin LB$. Plan A/B is for BS to negotiate WS to end the A and start working on M!. Fillin ENs are extra and recomended as long as WS allows you to. Plan A is showing to your WS that you could address what ever greivence <sp> that they have about you in M (not excuses but real issues) and sometimes yes, it deposit LU$. No physical contact doesn't mean that A is not there ... it is in his mind still and you don't know what they are talking about on the phone either. This is my own 2¢. WH is in withdrawal if and only if WH is willing to work on M but "hurt" from the separation of OP !. I don't mean to inflame you but your WH is not in withdrawal ... he still in contact w/ OP. You are still talking to full fog head.

Plan B is not about your WH. It is about you !, it is to protect whatever your LU$ left for him. In any chance that WH is out of the fog you still have enough LU$ to welcome him and not to head toward Dv. Of course when there is a chance of smacking their head by withdrawing ENs and avoiding LB (PLan B) to make WS to see that BS is a better choice, by any mean ... use it. Just ask Orchid how many times she had to put his belonging out in the front yard.

I don't suggest that you plan B'ng him now. Plan B would force him to choose and look at his option. You have SH working on your side to wake him up by looking at his choices.

You are always welcome to post whatever choice you make ... keep posting for suggestion or venting. I am lurking at your posts <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .

How is my single life ... ? I have peace and calm and order in my day to day life, no 'roller coaster. I have NC w/ my exW b/c she is still mad at me for her life didn't turn out wonderful with OM !. I don't want or need to hear that or be the receipient of her tantrums. My first date was my Ex ! now I have to learn the dating world. It is a bit scary but it is fun. I know I have the choice and I know I have a lot to offer to make someone happy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . I just have to be patience to find her. I learn how to go out w/ female freinds & have fun, how to date socially (non-romantic date) and first try to date romantically turned disaster <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> . My potential is playing game with me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> .

As I said soo many times. I would not trade this life now with the life that I had right before her A. So many doors and windows of possibilities open up right before my eyes and I have the wisdom, knowledge and time to make my next R work and fulling. I had hoped that I could salvage my M and make it fullfiling but my ExW doesn't want to. It is fine I know someone will treasure, protect and care about what I have to offer her.

The light at the end of the tunnel could be a light come from a train that would wreck you emotionally and physically for life or a light come from a sunshine of full of promise and hope. You have the choice and control. May God bless you with wisdom to know HIS WILL and strength to endure it. -rh-

rh, your post catapulted me in a direction that I'm not proud of. When you told me that my H is still in contact with OW I felt really pissed off. I hate to admit this, but I proceeded to read all of his posts. I thought if he is lying to me again, that's it! So I read every one of his posts and I didn't see anything that indicated he contacted her since he confessed breaking contact on 3/28. Am I missing something? My hands were shaking while looking through his posts. I feel badly that I invaded his privacy. However, the thought that I was being lied to again was too much for me. So what are you talking about?

I'll tell you and the others here what else transpired this morning. H had another horrible night's sleep. Wonders why he isn't further along on the feeling better path. i reminded him it's only 2 weeks after having had a 10 month A. He then said something that really put me back. Mind you, I was trying to heed your advice and not talk about our R, A, or the Ho-B. He brought up our R. He said he got an insight last night about something major he got from being with OW. Something he's been blocked with concerning me. I know he has a need to tell me. Frankly, I didn't feel like I wanted to hear about it yet, but was willing to. Thought it might help me when I talk to SH tomorrow.

After I dropped son off at school H said it's not a good time to tell me yet. Actually felt hopeful about realization. Didn't know he had this need, whatever the hell it is, but maybe we can get it in our M. My reaction? I felt really bad. Don't know what the "F" he's talking about, but anything regarding H and OW makes me sick. So what do I do? I was obviously upset and H wanted to hear my feelings. I proceeded to tell him everything that is despicable about OW. How she is my enemy, and I can't have good feelings about her. He even used the word spiritual in THIS THING he got from her. I said, "Don't even use the word spiritual. You two were lying, cheating, and betraying the people you love. Just don't use the word spiritual." Suddenly H got very dismayed and stood up. He was sweating and said, "I can't talk about this anymore. I feel like you are bashing me." I told him basically I was bashing her. Later he told me he felt like I was his critical father and he was a cornered kid. I told him I don't want to talk about her any more. He can't see her in a clear light, and until he can I don't want to discuss her. Which frankly he brought up the B's name this morning. I did say, because he has told me she told him she'd wait for him (which his posts confirmed), that she is my enemy and our kids' enemy. I told H the fact that she is waiting and that she is hoping and wishing our M will fail proves that.

One more thing. I wrote my friend, H's ex-business partner a very long letter. Basically told him how screwed up H is. He called me this morning and we talked for an hour. H told me partner told him that he should leave me and that if God wants us together in a few years we can get back together. I told partner this in the letter. I told him if that's true it is very hurtful, but I'd appreciate the truth, so we can stay friends. P told me that was a huge lie. Whether H lied or heard what he wanted, I don't know. But P said it was actually H who said that, and P told him I probably wouldn't be around if he wanted to come back.

H almost destroyed my 20 yr. friendship with P. He told me something when the A was being revealed that almost ended it also. It was only the honesty that P and I have that has saved our friendship. P feels so betrayed by H. Doesn't want to have any contact with him now. The way H and OW made him feel over the past year made him feel physically sick. He asked them repeatedly if they were having an A, and they continued to lie to him. He gave me more details about how stupid and open they were about this A. How more people than I realized were asking about it. I am "F"ing pissed off. P didn't want to hurt me before so he refrained from details he knew. He actually told me H was rubbing her leg while out with P for his b-day, with many people present. What a Fing [censored].

Ok, I'm back to wanting to just get rid of this man. It just brought up past pain. I had told him I didn't care what he wrote in those posts. Frankly I don't care. But hearing him say how in-love he is with the little twit....Gag me! I want to send him on his way!

Alright, you told me to vent, and I did. He called a short while ago and I was very nice. On the inside I want to feed him some arsenic.

That's it for now! CV

CV55,

I was talking about contact of 3/28. It starts the withdrawal from zero. That is just 10 days ago. I know it is very painful and hard.

It is good and healhty to vent here. However you have to stop LB'ng. How ?. If you are not ready to listen to his crying and you are not ready to help him ... "Just say, I can't listen to this now I would love to hear about your feeling but it is too hurtfull for me now.". Avoid talking R with him !. He has SH to talk to for now!. Reminder for you ... HE IS NOT READY TO GIVE ANYTHING TO YOU RIGHT NOW !, not until he is in recovery!. You could vent here and let it out but not to H yet. You could start write a journal of your feeling.

I suggest you take care of yourself since H is not capable right now. Go and get make over and do a bit of retail theraphy to make you feel good a bit. Let SH talks him out of his fog.

-rh-

CV55

Well, I'm back! After a week of going through my elderly (Dad 88, Mom 85) parents home, sifting through their entire collection of possessions, helping decisions on what to keep and what to sell, and then, on Sunday, auctioning off what won't fit into their retirement apartment. Then Tuesday moving whats left into their "new" home.

Talk about seeing your life pass before your eyes!!! And the lives of my brothers and sister, as well. They will be married 65 years in July. I'm pretty sure they NEVER had to go through this nightmare we find ourselves in !!!

So I get back, sad, emotional and exhausted, and now I have to go get a damned 2"x4" for CV!

Woudja just QUIT DENEGRADING THE OW !!!!! fer cripes sake. Every time you do that, you send her in for a complete makeover, and make her look BETTER TO YER WH! He is put in a position to defend her EVERY TIME YOU BAD MOUTH HER!!! After all, he is WAY to smart to have involved himself with a dirty, lo-down HO-BAG, isn't he???? (your words.... LMAO)

You have done so well, so far, and have made great progress. Now you need to settle down a bit, and let time take over and make your gains. You don't like the leather couch any more??? Sell the damn thing, then and replace it with one you'd be comfortable with. Christen it (with love, of course) and make it YOUR own!

You have got WH on the ropes. He's been staggered by the punches, and he's about ready to fall (out of "love") with the OW, and he's reaching out to you, and feeling comfortable in talking to you. Then you go and LB by playing "smackdown" on the OW. And gawd, you KNOW how good if feels to say those things, but you also realize that each time you do it, yer shooting yourself in the foot! You need both feet, CV55, to provide the foundation to move forward!

Anyway, enough of the 2 by! I was away from the computer and had to read like crazy to catch up. Funny how these boards become part of our day, and you miss them when away.

CV.... You are making great progress. Don't fret over the little stuff. Count your blessings, and keep doing the things you know are right. Your WH might have just had a revelation that could be priceless in your recovery, and you set fire to the "safe" environmen for him to talk to you.

Get the fire department over, douse the fire, and get the safe room opened up, and listen keenly to what your H has to tell you. It may enable you to fulfill a need you haven't yet considered.

Always pulling for you.

SD

rh, I think you're the 3rd person to tell me to go get a makeover. Is there something in my posts that are telling people I look like crap. The one good thing that has come out of all this is I'm looking pretty good. Partner actually told me something about OW. Apparently his next door neighbors from here called him. they know Ow and ran into her at a restaurant last week. They said she looked really bad and her hair was really stringy. I made him repeat that part to me. Sorry I'm feeling very vindictive. She then went on to bad mouth H, as she did several weeks ago, as he was calling her. Told them H fired her. She can't get a job. he made promises to her. I'd love to tell H that info. These people asked partner if they should use H's funeral home because someone is dying in their family and now they don't know.

Stupid, stuopid, H. His is a 100 yr. old family business. His dad would be soooo pissed off. H can't tolerate being told his behavior might have hurt his business, and his reputation. And here the little "B" is bad mouthing him, and he thinks she's the princess. Should I tell him this story? Then I'd have to tell him I talked to partner, who H is in a complete fog over. Plus MC told him to stay away from her because she has 2 yrs. to file sexual harrassment suit. Of course the sweet oW would never do that.

It's me who's talking to "the man" tomorrow, SH. It's perfect timing because I really want to dump H. I think he's really trying. Came home for lunch today after therapy. Wants to talk to me about his session. I told him not now. I had to leave soon. He agreed later would be better. But I don't seem to give a SH** today. H is trying to figure out if he wants to stay in our M? Well, I am having major doubts if i want to stay in our M. Thinking he lied to me again maybe triggered how he did lie to me. Reading what he wrote about being in-love with OW, which he told me he wasn't writing even though I told him I didn't care, just makes me sick. Talking to partner and realizing the man is or was so fogged out he doesn't even know what's truth and what isn't. I think the reality of the A just smacked me in the face today.

SD, glad your back! I missed your chearleading. I thought you either ran away with Bubba, or decided to get off the recovery treadmill and blow this MB site. Anyway, can't say I am too receptive to the chearleading today. My fantasy isn't about recovery, it's about shoving H out to be with OW. If heroswife is reading this, that ain't a loving thought. I could be wrong, but I think the man would be miserable. Today I want him to know what he lost. How is he going to know that unless he leaves? My 52 yr. old H can go live with bankrupt oW at her parents' house. He and parents are probably close to the same age. Maybe they're 10 yrs. older. I'm sure they'll have a lot to talk about. Meanwhile the boys, and of course our dog, will be hanging out here. In our nice home! OMG, I am feeling SO vindictive. See what happens, SD. You go away for a week and look what happened to me. I am ready to blow off all MB principles.

Two more things then I'll shut up, for now. Partner told me he is no longer praying for our M, which he was daily. He now said he is praying for me, and that the best outcome happens for me. I thanked him and said if I ever want another man it might be tough at 49 to have that happen. He told me the new trend is for 30 something men to get together with an older woman. I have to admit THAT fantasy sounded quite fun. Now please, if any 30 something men are reading this, don't burst my bubble today, OK?

Second thing! I want to e-mail the little BI$$$ and tell her a few things. Like if you're waiting for H you might want to know I will out you if he leaves me, whether he's with you or not. I want to tell her I've read every letter. I want her to know he stopped lying to me about their PA and I know she was "F"ing him for months. I want her to know if she messes with me some of those details will be shared with significant others. No more little miss nice chump. What do you all thinK? Would that be shooting myself in the foot? If she runs to H it will renew contact, and he will be soooo pissed off. Yet, if I tell her if she tells H I'll out her immediately. I'm actually smiling!

I think I need more talking down. I am going to blame all of you. I'm in the venting mode. Better you all, than my WH. I guess I should cook dinner. H feels good when dinner is cooking. It's an EN of his. CV

CV55

Put the guns away. You've only got one good foot left!!

Write the letter you want to write to the OW, but write it in Word. Tell her every freakin' thing you want to tell her, and tell her as bluntly as you want.

But don't you dare send it.
But don't you dare send it.
But don't you dare send it.
But don't you dare send it.

Now delete it!

Write it to vent. Get the anger out of your system. Your anger is driving most of your emotions right now, and that is counterproductive. So release it in your letter to OW, then Burn the letter. Have a glass of wine while it burns. Then take a hot bubble bath and relax, and let your soul clear, so you can face the next step......... forgiveness.

Finish dinner, and let WH open up to you, and let him get whatever he had on his mind, out in the open. Earn that Emmy I gave you! You just never know when the next thing that comes out of his mouth might be a breakthrough. Advantage: CV

You can do this. You have too much invested to blow it now!

SD

CV55,

You have to focus on something else rather than OW & H ... so turn it on you. Beside if you feel good and look good (different) H might look at you w/ a different comparison.

You know that I was a venting wall for OMxW for 2.5 years until finally she is able to get strong & start to move on. So vent here ... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

-rh-

OK, OK, OK, you made your point! You have totally ruined all my fun! Dang it! I wanted so badly to let the Little "B" know I read her lovely love letters. What fun is it to write on Word and then burn the letters. I'd much rather burn the little princess.

I've already hit the vino. Now don't anyone get worried about me. I know I've been hitting the vino lately, as has H. I don't think I have an addictive personality. I am closely monitoring myself. Only hitting the vino as I'm cooking dinner. Now H and I are going to walk. Frankly, I don't want to know about his insights!

Wait a minute rh. Are you actually telling me that you listened to your WS for 2.5 yrs. and she still didn't stick with the M? Is that suppose to make me feel good? You are one hell of a man. I have to tell you I do not equal you in that regard. If this H of mine doesn't get his sh&& together soon, I really may call Quito the hit man. Oh what the hell, why risk prison? I'll just very nicely D him with my very own shark attorney. I'll be living good. Meanwhile, H and OW, who's need is financial security, might be in for a little shockaroo.

Please humor me. These thoughts are making me smile. Poor Steve Harley. What the heck will we talk about tomorrow? Thanks guys! I'm going walking half crocked again! Such fun! Cv

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by CV55:
<strong>Wait a minute rh. Are you actually telling me that you listened to your WS for 2.5 yrs. and she still didn't stick with the M? Is that suppose to make me feel good? You are one hell of a man.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OMW not my W!. I had help her to just listen to her crying and mourning about OM behavior and venting to kill & burn my W!. Finally she said no more !, she told off OM and get out of her drama.

My point is each people has limit and bottom of their love. I loved my W that I was willing to die for her, I gave my mind, body and soul for her. However my ocean of love for her has its bottom too. I have none left now.

You have to be vocal with SH about your limit. He will try to gauge your LB$ and how much he could push you w/o breaking the LB$.

Good luck -rh-