Where is everyone? Why do I get the feeling that I spend the better part of my waking hours on this board <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

My house is a mess, I've got laundry to do, kids to put to bed, etc, etc...but here I sit, just staring at this board! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> But no-0ne seems to be here tonight!

Oh, dont tell me, you guys actually have a life OUTSIDE of INFIDELITY! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

Mom - you're cracking my sh** up! I have the EXACT same feelings sometimes.

I have, like, 35 hours of TiVo to catch up on. The laundry is currently in the washer/dryer waiting for my attention. The floors could use a good vacuuming. ....But here I sit. With this horribly unattractive computer glow lighting up my face. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

How are you doing today?

Mom you crack me up I'm the same as you this is my home now lol.

Well???

....I'm waiting.....

Oh Suuuure.Post a quickie then go away and have a bubble bath and some bon bons and listen to music!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Well SOME of us are here tonight with nothing better to do.The kids are in bed,WH is strapped to his computer again as usual and I'm on mine waiting to go to bed soon since I have a funeral to go to tomorrow.What fun.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

O

I'm sitting here watching Hockey playoffs and drinking a beer and having the glow going also LOL.

Hey, I was replying to a thread! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Oh yea, my floors are NASTY too! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

WHB, today has been OK.. I try not to show my depression to H too much. i dont want him to pick up on it now do I <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />


You know what he said to me tonight...We were talking about the A and he said "WOW, I cannot beleive we are actually siting here talking about this"

IOW, talking about HIM having an AFFAIR! YUP, get used to it buddy, you screwed up and now you are going to pay...hehe!

A life outside of infidelity? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> what's that? It's all consuming!

I don't mean to take your light hearted post and rain on it but REALLY, it IS consuming! My H and I got into an argument about it once, he said "You don't want to get better, you want to live this!" WHAT? I "WANT" THIS? Not hardly! I would give almost anything if I could wake up tomorrow and find out it was all just a bad dream! I don't want it! It was thrust upon me and I have no choice but to think about it now, it consumes my life! Awake OR asleep it is always on my mind. I don't want that <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Octobergirl:
<strong> Oh Suuuure.Post a quickie then go away and have a bubble bath and some bon bons and listen to music!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">hey, not a bad idea! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> now throw in a nice looking guy and... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Oh wait, I'm the BETRAYED SPOUSE!

toomanylies...I know what you mean. That is why I am here most of my waking hours. it completely takes over our lives and it is so unfortunate! What I USED to do was post my daily cleaning chores on my other board, now I post my daily infidelity news on this board. Big difference.

well, you all know what i am doing here tonight. fight off this terrible urge to seek insane relief from this pain. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

not very good company here.

FL, just stay here and take a deep breath. We will get you thru this...you want to hop in my bubble bath and eat my bons bons. It's a nice BIG Jet tub...Did you take that walk?

FL your good company just light banter here no worrys. Sorry I made you cry but sometimes and I hate to admit this it's good to cry every once in a while. At least for me it is all the emotions get pent up sometimes. Like mom said chocolate is even better then crying lol.

<small>[ April 07, 2004, 07:55 PM: Message edited by: The Tinman ]</small>

FL - I read some of your earlier post, and I must admit that I admire your efforts. How refreshing for a WS to realize what they're about to do is wrong....and STOP! I know you're feeling weak and vulnerable - but really, you need to be commended for recognizing your vulnerabilities and doing something about them.

To me, that's a HUGE step in the right direction.

ok, mom, that made me laugh. i can't eat bon bon, i'm losing weight here, remember!!!!!!

tinman, yeah i guess sometimes tears are needed.

H called a few min ago, he is on his way home, panic time is over, disaser avoided. thanks for the help. i'm shutting this thing down.

oh yeah, H said to wait for him, he will take a walk with me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> now tell me again, why am i so worried???

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> WHB, today has been OK.. I try not to show my depression to H too much. i dont want him to pick up on it now do I </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Mom, good for you. We all know that the withdrawal phase is just as hard on the BS as the WS - maybe even harder. You have the tools to get thru this, and all you have to do is come here when you're feeling blue OR pissed! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Today has been so so for me. Our son is having some issues as of late, so I've really been questioning how my WH can continue what he's doing when it's obvious our son is hurting so badly. Then I rationalize - he's 5, in Kindergarten, and around a bunch of other kids who may or may not be having the same attitude problems as he is.

And I know my WH doesn't want to hurt our son. I guess my issue is that he doesn't SEE that he's hurting our son - he only sees MY pain (and he really doesn't even see that very much). When WH comes over, our son is so happy to see him - he's like a different kid.

Anyway, that's where I am today.

WH is off tomorrow, so he'll be here all day. I hope he doesn't come over smelling all good like he usually does. That doesn't make it any easier for me.....

thanks WHB. i can't believe how close i was to doing that. i actually had the other computer warming up. i've been offline since 1/9, that is a record for me since 04/2000. i am very grateful to you all.

thanks for the pat on the back. it feels good to have a pat on the back instead of having to kick myself which is what i would be doing eventually if i had allowed myself to do this. what a huge step backwards that would of been. and for that exact reason, i am glad i confessed to my H. Stakes are higher now, cost is higher too. i guess that is actually the same thing, huh. ok, i'm out of here. hope your evening turn out ok.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Wanting Him Back:
Today has been so so for me. Our son is having some issues as of late, so I've really been questioning how my WH can continue what he's doing when it's obvious our son is hurting so badly. Then I rationalize - he's 5, in Kindergarten, and around a bunch of other kids who may or may not be having the same attitude problems as he is.

And I know my WH doesn't want to hurt our son. I guess my issue is that he doesn't SEE that he's hurting our son - he only sees MY pain (and he really doesn't even see that very much). When WH comes over, our son is so happy to see him - he's like a different kid.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">All three of my kids have problems...The oldest has ADHD but is fine medicated. The middle one has very bad emotional problems. We have been back and forth to different Psychs offices. When H moved out, all three of them went downhill...DS8, an excellerated kid, straight A student started failing...DS5's emotions went wild, and DS3 cried non stop. WHen WH would come by, they were fine. he would say

"they're not acting up now...they are fine" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

No, your WH DOES NOT see what is happening to your son. Your son acts out because WH is OUT of the house. 5 y/o are very smart. My DS5 knows everything that wnet on. When the kids see Daddy in the house, everything is "normal" to them. Then he leaves again and doesn't come back for days. That is when they start to act up. Normal to them is having mommy and daddy in the same house together. Does this make sense.

Now, My son had problems BEFORE A, but A has only progreseed the problems. It is very hard taking care of them alone. But somehow I did it for almost a whole month <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> and they are still alive!

Hey Mom - My son doesn't have any developmental problems, but he sure has displayed emotional problems as of late. He used to be the sweetest little boy, but things have changed.

I shouldn't say that. Sometimes, he STILL is a sweet little boy. But he is ANGRY . He blows up at me for the littlest reason. He is not showing me any respect for the most part. He gets jealous of his little sister, all the attention she gets I guess. But she's almost two, and a bit of a hellraiser... you get the picture.

I guess I get a bit resentful for having to deal with this all alone. That's not what I signed up for - what ANY of us signed up for.

But, this was to be a 'light' post....so what fun thing are you doing tomorrow??? I planned a beach day with a girlfriend and her kids on Friday. I am excited about it - I LUUUUUUUUVVVVVVV the beach.

And, I had to return some shorts to NY & Co. today because they were TOO BIG!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

There you are !!!

I was afraid I was too hard on Dadto3 and made you BOTH disappear.

Phew!!! glad your back. This has been a real eye opener for me. As I told dad, I was feeling neglected and figured there had to be something better. Writing history made me realize this is our life. I was comparing my life to my friends lives...you know H's home on time..no interuptions..and taking REAL vacations (longer than 5 days). This is our lives and I am OK with it.

Hope all continues well..