Ok. Another R discussion.

He was here this afternoon. After I put the baby down for her nap, we were talking. His cell phone rang - three guesses who it was. He took the call outside, and when he came back - I'd had enough.

Me - "How long are we going to do this?"
WH - "Do what?"
Me - " THIS".
WH - "I was under the impression it was a long term thing"
Me - thinking...don't want to LB... "Do you have any idea how much this hurts me and the kids?"
WH - "yes"
Me - "our son is like a different kid. I'm not putting ALL of that on you, but he's definitely much better when you're here"
WH - silence
Me - "Do you ever think about us?"
WH - "yes"
Me - "and...?"
WH - "I was unhappy here, WHB"
Me - "and are you 'happy' now??"
WH - "somewhat. And truthfully, if things don't work out with OW, I'll probably get my own place - not come back here"
Me - "do you realize how selfish you're being? I just can't understand why you're totally giving up on us when we spent many years discussing how we would NEVER be in this position."
WH - "we've been over this. Maybe I shouldn't come around so much. Are you in denial?"
Me - "I know exactly what's happening. My H is living with OW. Do you want me to shout it from the rooftops?"
WH - "no, I just don't think you ACCEPT it."
Me - "what am I supposed to do?"
WH - "accept the fact that this is the way our lives are going now"
Me - "I can't date. I won't. I am a married woman"
WH - "I'm not talking about dating. I'm just talking about accepting things"
Me - still don't really understand what he's telling me..."why haven't you filed for divorce?"
WH - "truthfully, I just don't want to get involved with that right now. Why, do you WANT me to?"
Me - "of course I don't want a D, but for very different reasons. I believe we can have the happiest marriage on earth if you'd just give us a chance"
WH - "I'm just not ready to do that right now."
Me - "Is OW still getting D?"
WH - "yes"
Me - "and she'll have her kids 1/2 the time?"
WH - "eventually"
Me - "I feel sorry for those kids - they have some messed up parents"
WH - "actually, they seem pretty happy"
Me - "sure, now - but the recorder is on and they're going to remember everything that is happening to them."
WH - "Are you optimistic about us because I haven't filed?"
Me - "truthfully, I'm optimistic b/c I know that there have been people in your shoes - doing the same things, saying the same things; who have eventually come to their senses and come home to work it out"
WH - "then why don't you just keep quiet and wait?"

Then the phone rang. After the call, he was back to joking with me. I thanked him for talking with me and he said he didn't think we did much, but "you're welcome".

He seems so cold and uncaring - like it's not affecting him at all. But I know it is. I just don't get how he can talk with me about this and seemingly look right through me. When I asked him how he feels about me, he said he feels pity and guilt.

HELP!!!