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Has anyone not told OM??
#1125556 04/09/04 04:13 PM
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 240
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durham76
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durham76
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Posts: 240
I have been told by many MB to expose the affair to the OM. I don't want to because I know it is going to open another can of worms. They all work together. Who knows what he will do. I don't want the OW to get kicked out and run to my husband. I don't want my H to leave me for telling. The list goes on and on. What do I have to gain???
Re: Has anyone not told OM??
#1125557 04/09/04 04:25 PM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Shrek's Swamp
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Pepperband Offline
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Pepperband
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Posts: 35,996
Shrek's Swamp
"What do I have to gain???"

Self respect.

Respect for the truth.

The thrill of making a choice because it is the right and decent thing to do.

You will live "in the light" rather than in the shadows.

Right now, your world is ruled by your fears. Your cowardice undermines the stability of your marriage.

That's so sad. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

How about you begin to make principle-based decisions rather than emotional-fear-based decisions???

Pep

<small>[ April 09, 2004, 04:28 PM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>
Re: Has anyone not told OM??
#1125558 04/09/04 04:36 PM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Texas
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MelodyLane Offline
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MelodyLane
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Texas
Amen Pepper. If you are going to allow yourself to be ruled by your fears, you are probabaly not going to be able to save your marriage. It takes a lot of courage and the willingness to take risks. If you won't even take the first step to help yourself because you are scared, you are not very likely to get anywhere.
Re: Has anyone not told OM??
#1125559 04/09/04 05:13 PM
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016
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Chris -CA123 Offline
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Chris -CA123
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I have been told by many MB to expose the affair to the OM.
The om is the “other man”, the person having an affair with someones wife.
If you are referring to the ow (other woman)s husband, then yes, they should be told their spouse is having an affair.

I don't want the OW to get kicked out and run to my husband.
But not getting kicked out and running to your husband is okay? This is what is happening now. Also, you have to remember that “getting kicked out” doesn’t happen all that often. You didn’t kick out your h, did you?

I don't want my H to leave me for telling.
He wouldn’t leave you for telling. If he left for any reason, it would be because he’s having an affair.

The list goes on and on. What do I have to gain???
A marriage.

Read up the links below and definitely read, “Surviving An Affair”.
Re: Has anyone not told OM??
#1125560 04/09/04 05:36 PM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Texas
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MelodyLane Offline
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MelodyLane
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Posts: 92,985
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Texas
durham, you only hurt yourself by helping your H hide the affair. There is absolutely NO advantage in not telling the OWH, it works to your disadvantage no matter how you look at it.

Moderated by  Fordude 

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