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Hello all!
I have been gone for sheesh, who knows how long, over a year I guess. H and I are doing great! Last July we celebrated our 10th anniversary by renewing our vows with our family and friends.
I have a two part question for you all...I didn't know where else to turn.
Does anyone know of a forum like this one to support parents of children with ADD? Our youngest has it and we sure could use help.
My other question will have to wait, gotta go to church.
Hope to here from you,
weez
<small>[ April 16, 2004, 07:12 PM: Message edited by: Mrs WLD ]</small>
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Weez,
I don't know that our paths ever crossed here on this board, but I am delighted you are doing so well.
The reason I felt compelled to post to you is your sig line. I am blown away by what your 7-year-old son said! What perception!
You are blessed! Go hug that little guy for me!
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Yes, someone remembers you.
It is good to know you are doing well.
I don't have any help for you as far as ADD - wish I could help more.
Say hi to Bill - and if you are able, give us more of an update - you two are great people.
SS
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Hello SS!
I have no idea what has brought me back to this site, but here I am. Bill and are doing wonderfully. Living life with all it has to give us...TOGETHER! We still go to counseling on a regular basis. About once a month now. We use it to talk about individual issues that usually seem to affect US. I very much like to go still even though we are way out of crisis. It is so nice to just go spend time on us, or on me with Bill there as my support, or vice versa. The girls are doing great in school and with life. THANK GOD that the past events didn't seem to give any lasting negative affect on them. In fact, we use our getting back together as a lesson that even though things are hard they can still be done. "Where would we all be if Daddy and I had just given up?" Makes them go..oh yeah....
My other problem that I mentioned at the beginning of this thread is this...
I am afraid that my boss is having an affair. I am having a very difficult time with it. I am a medical assistant and work directly with her all day. We have been working together for 4 years and I have come to know her personally as well. I have noticed changes n her that MIRROR MYSELF form a few years ago. I am hurting for so many reasons. She is bringing back so many emotions, guilt, fear, anger. Bill and talk abut this and he knows that there is NO WORRIES as far as I am concerned. I mean my actions, that I am not the one going through this, SHE is.
I don't have too much time right now to really get into this. having company for Easter. I'll come back here though. I think that is what brought me back, the need for support while she is going through this.
Sorry if this seems detached and/or rambling. Just in a hurry and wanted to post something for you all to ponder...
Have a blessed Easter and thank the Lord for all He has given to us!!!!!
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I am so glad you are doing well. Once (now it seems long ago) I read all your story. It is so good to know you are still doing well after all that you went through.
What a wonderful thing that the girls have both of you.
It must be very hard to see your boss do something so destructive. I am sure you wonder what to do - It would be hard for any of us.
Is she married? Or is she single going after a married man?
I suppose we should just wait for you to get time to come back and tell the whole story.
It is soooo nice to know you are doing well, and I can't say that enough. Thanks again for the good news.
Let us know how we can help.
SS
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Yes, she is married and has two kids. Up until about 2 months ago, she seemed happily married in fact. Never complained about her H, the way we all do at times with our co-workers. Now she is making almost daily "jokes" about divorce. Her demeanor is so different around the "OM". I have no idea if she is really involved this way. But the whole office is talking about her and him. She has stated that there is something going on but she can't discuss it with me.
Almost a month ago I called his company and made an "anonymous" call to complain that he spends too much time in the office, causing her to run late. It was found out that I made the call and I ended up getting into trouble. She was hurt by my actions, "why didn't you just come to me and ask me?" I told her that I had noticed many changes in the way she is running her practice and I pointed these out to her. That is when she said that "something" is going on but she couldn't talk to me about it. She assured me that it wasn't an affair. I just don't know what to think. She is just acting so much like the way I was. Maybe she really isn't...but it feels like it to me.
H and I have talked to our counselor about this. She helped me through the immediate crisis, when I made the call and got into trouble. I almost quit that day, telling the doctor that I couldn't work under these conditions. She asked me to stay, saying she didn't want to lose me. That was such a nice thing to hear, it meant more to me than any review or raise ever could. We talked and she asked me to hang around to see if things got better. So they are getting better, but she is still acting weird.
Sometimes it is just too much to take....
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Mrs. WLD, I don't know you from the past but I thought I'd chime in about your boss' situation. Years ago, when my first M was going down the tubes (no A, just a M dying a slow death), I was griping at the office about exH. One of my colleagues, who I really didn't know that well, had the guts to look me in the eye and say in front of everyone "If you're really unhappy, the person you should be telling is your H." Well, that stopped me in my tracks. He was right, and I knew it. I was so embarrassed I could feel my face flame. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> I *did* go to my H and talk to him, again, with renewed vigor. My M eventually failed but my point is that my colleague very much earned my respect, and my M got another "oomph", thanks to my colleague. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Now, your boss is probably not going to be so receptive because it does sound like there's a big, fat A going on. She's likely to dismiss any education or lecturing. However, you are obviously valued. IF you feel comfortable revealing to her that you have, in fact, lived through an A, perhaps a little glimmer of that will get through to her. You can point her to this site and invite her to look around. After that it's up to her. No one can make anyone else do anything (lesson we ALL learn here, eventually, huh?). I'm thinking that if the suggestion comes from someone she values, and someone who's "been there done that", without any lecturing, well, maybe it will plant a little seed.
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Ya know...the one thing I left out...she DOES know about what H and I went through!! She was part of the reason that I got out of the fog. She seemed to have such a wonderful relationship with her H that I used her as a "role model" if you will. She knows though, many details about my A, including that we are now happily recovered. This maybe my problem, I mean, it IS my problem. I don't even know if that is what's going on....
Just frustrationg to see happening. If she isn't having one...why is she acting like it?!? Grrr..
I guess I came back to this site because I knew I would be able to vent to folks who know what this is like. Thanks to you all for listening...
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What direction do you want to head with this now?
Are you here mostly for you, so you won't go crazy?
Do you want to let her H know, or talk to her about it?
SS
<small>[ April 16, 2004, 12:29 AM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>
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I am here for support for myself. To keep my sanity and post where I know some folks who know what I've been through. I have no idea what other emotions I will go through before all this is done. I have no fear of becoming weak, I know that my WS days are long over. But I care very much for this lady she is like a sister to me. I do not want to lose my job there.
Today was interesting at work...she spent much of the day in her office crying. At one point she asked one of the office managers into her office I assume to vent. I asked later what was going on and she said she couldn't talk about it, to pray for her and her family that she is going through very hard times. Then the suspected OM came in later in the day and boy her mood changed. Got me all riled up! I keep trying to give her the benefit of the doubt...but her behaviour isn't condusive to that.
So, I want to maintain my sanity, and my job. And help her if at all possible. If she ever comes to me for help...
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It's got to be hard, and bring back emotions that you wanted to leave alone.
What does Bill say? I hope it isn't bringing back memories for him too.
Are you doing Ok from day to day?
SS
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Starfish, Thanks for your help. I will check these out! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
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