My children are staying at WH for the day today, they stayed overnight. I have just spoken to D and she tells me that OW has straightened her hair, D is 10, she doesn't need to be having her hair straightened with hot combs at this age. I CONTAINED MYSELF because it isn't D fault and just said oh that's nice but dont have it done again, it will ruin your hair. Then she tells me that they had an easter hunt (I know this as I bought the eggs for the easter hunt and WH and OW neglected to tell the children this) Then D tells me they are going to a theme park, again I contained myself and told her to have a nice time. Then WH came on the phone and said to me not to worry it was going to be a one off. Again I dont know how I did it but I put on my cheerest voice and said calmly thats okay as long as the children are having a good time.

BUT I am upset and I do feel betrayed WH would never have been like this when he was at home. Why does it take him to leave to suddenely become the dutyful father. Why is it that he wants to these things with OW.

The more I go on and things like this happen makes me realise I have made the right decesion giving up. WH obviously does love the OW and is very content to play happy families with her and our children. It is so hard right now I know I have to be strong for the children and let them go because all of this is not their fault and they are much happier when they see their dad and I am not upset. Tell me will this get easier, will I accept this situation all together soon.

feelingit,

i am very sorry for your pain. as a child of a divorce, i was not so fortunate to have a mother that could do what you are doing.

YOU ARE AMAZING!!!! and your children are very lucky.

Hi feelingit...You are such a brave person to put up with that...I am not in your position, but this is just my take on the situation...

your WH didn't HAVE to be the dutyful father when he was at home because you were there to do it all for him. NOW, he HAS to be...OW is not there mother and I doubt she will step up and do the motherly things that you did while you and WH were together. He may also be trying to impress OW by being the dutyful father right now.

It is amazing how they survive when WE are not there to hold their hands. That is just my opinion. hang in there!

hey feelingit---its not dutiful dad syndrome---its disnyland dad syndrome. ive been through it---it all comes from guilt on their part. dont even give it another thought. have a good holiday and continue to be the great mom you are.

Thank you all so much. It is the children that are important to me and are my first priority dispite how I feel. I have had a good holiday with my family and friends and have got through the day. I am just waiting for the children to arrive home and I have to put on my brave face and act happy for them. I am sure this will come naturally soon. As for my WH I am sure he has done this through guilt or maybe the OW has set it up but whatever has happen as long as the children have a good time does it really matter. Thank you all for your prays and encouragement it does help. Sometimes I feel so alone that I could crack up. Thank you for your continued support.

Well I made it today. Children came home very happy and had a good day. I carried on with the pretence of being okay. I told WH in a nice way that I did not want OW straighening D's hair as I did not want it to become damaged. He was okay with that. I couldn't help but ask whether he was getting support at home (his dad died a few days ago) and he replied not as much as he was getting from me. As he left I gave him a big hug and kiss goodbye (don't know why really) I guess I feel for him losing his dad and still feel I should show I care at this time. I have come out of Plan B at this sad time (although I never gave WH a PBL, I didn't have an opportunity to) If I feel I can't cope again or find that I am starting to feel emotions for my WH then I shall definately send a PBL and go dark again. For now I think I should be posting on the recovery board as I don't want my WH back, Plan B has helped me get a grip with my feelings and I am still working on me and loving every minute of it. I guess today was a blipp and I felt jealous over my children, who knows?