Mom,
I have to leave for a rehearsal so this will be short. You have got to get a hold of yourself and calm down. The snide comments and DJments are all understandable but they are going to destroy your marriage.

He is not in this willingly at this point, he is blaming you for the loss of his OW and their special relationship, you are the bad guy in his eyes. I know this is tough, but as long as you act like the bad guy, he can justify the A and any thoughts of starting it again or continuing it. He is still working at the NH, and contact is going to happen sooner or later. The OW is just lying in wait for him to come crawling back.

Don't take the bait! Calm down and plan A your rear off. Your boys deserve to have a father and a stable home and you are the only one right now fighting for it, DON'T quit yet! I'll check with you later. Ladysing

Hi mom

Oh boy!! Mom you need serious help also.

I know it can be VERY frustrating when WH doesn't work the M the way you want it, I would be very aware that maybe your H has not completely ended the A. Hi attitude doesn't show it like he has. But let's leave that to him. About u mom...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I will start with the OLD ME, someone I didn't like much and I know he didn't either. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Now mom, can I ask why will you even start with the old you even if you don't like it? It doesn't make sense!!!.

One thing is be active and one being re-active and one being pro-active <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> . I see you are just being re-active, sorry if I'm mistaken.

You are putting too much hopes in your H and when he doesn't do a thing you like, you get into your old self. That makes me wonder of YOU!!! YOU have to change first. Let him change at his own pace if he wants, if he doesn't that is ok, but you are getting crazier by the day. And well is not working is it? So what is the point?

Mom I know it easier to sit here and write this things for you, like I have not lived them, but believe me some of them I did. And I realized that my OLD me was making me crazier by the day. I didn't had a way out, I didn't had peace, and IS WAS NOT WORKING!. Only you can decide what or who can affect you. I'm not saying I'm insensible or that you should be. But if all you are doing is LBing big time because of his actions. What about yours are helping? Where on MB it says, if you can not commit to the MB program, and get frustrated, LB big time?

IT IS NOT WORKING!!!
IT IS NOT WORKING!!!
IT IS NOT WORKING!!!

Please! Try to gain some control over yourself and your emotions first!!!

Also about the pro-D counselor, I'll say change them ASAP, it doesn't has to be SH, but for this I know it may be one of the best, but have you asked your H how HE feels with SH? Maybe look for another one, one you both feel confortable, and please make sure to call before and be straighfoward and ask his/her take on the M. That will save you a lot of time and money.

Good luck!

Please forgive me if you have already done this but I think you need to clearly state what you need from him. He just doesn't "get it" and is taking every opportunity to twist things to suit him. If necessary, write him a note telling him what you need and why you need it. Be as clear and as concise as you can. As well, a note also makes it very tough for you to get sarcastic and explosive. You can write the note, give it to him and leave the room.

As I told your H, until you can honestly say to yourself that you've done everything possible to make the M work you have no right to "throw in the towel". Calm down, forgive yourself for your LB's (don't worry we all had LB's near our ddays!!). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Be kind to yourself.

mom - slow down, you're going to fast. You sound like a super-woman married to super-doc. Can you cut back on being the leader on different activities? Also get someone to come in to clean once a week.

Then you need to get some activities for you. Join a women's support group. Go out with friends. I hate to bash me, but I will. You will never get all of your needs met by a man. Forget it, they are not equipped. And it is unfair to expect them to meet all of your needs.

Your WH is going through withdrawal. It is good for him to take care of some of his needs - racing or whatever. He is working a lot, plus traveling to and from work, so he probably is tired.

So we have two people here that are tired and needy. Look outside you marriage to get some of your needs met. I think being a SAHM is great, but sometimes hard on mom.

Give this some time, and hang in there. You can do this.

Mom,

Girl, you sound like me. When WH was home, ACTIVELY engaged in the A, and I f'in knew it, it took everything in my power not to take all his **** and throw it out in the yard, change the locks, and tell him, have fun with that class-les, ugly, non-christian, WHORE.

But, I didn't. Which, if you must know, is no small feat for me. Like you, when I am hurt, it usualy manifests as anger, and I can be a SUPER SMART A$$ when I want to. Sometimes I think a good reaming would have done him some good. My H was such a child sometimes, that literally, I would need to come down on him pretty hard, and then I would see some action. And we lived this pattern for years...inaction of behalf of WH, impatience and disgust on the part of me, I would start to boil, and finally, JUST ERUPT on him, then he would FINALLY do what I had wanted him to do.

The sad thing was, every time I did that, I did not know this at the time, but I was chipping away at his heart. This hurt him deeply. DEEPLY. This made the A that much more appealing when he was at the crossroads of making that decision. I don't blame myself for his choices, but it made it all that much more appealing.

Look at this analogy....stay with me for a minute...try to be open minded to what I am about to say...

When your husband does not meet your needs, act attentive, ACT LOVINGLY, this hurts you deeply. His act of not being loving toward you is the biggest hurt possible. He is saying I Don't love you and it takes your breath away it hurts so bad.

When you scream your husband down, act disrespectfully, don't admire him, it hurts him deeply. Your act of disrespect is the biggest hurt possible to him. You are saying I do not respect you and it takes his breath away it hurts so bad.

Ask 100 men if they would rather be loved or respected, and I wager, they say respect. That is not to say that men don't need love, and women don't need respect, I am talking, generally speaking of course, of the way they were wired at what usually will motivate, or cut to the quick, the most.

He needs your respect, unconditionally, the same way you need his love, unconditionally.

NOW...I know, I know, you would be preaching to the choir if you said to me "Well maybe he needs to act in a way that is deserving of my respect." And let's face it, the A, his anger toward you at the NH today, the inactivity in the marital environment, hesitancy to go to the marriage conference, etc...they are all things that really make it hard to admire the guy. And he could easily argue the same, "She needs to act in a way that is deserving of my love." And you have, admit it, acted like a real hateful person at times in your life, but would hate his love to be conditional.

So how do you get him to MOVE if you cannot light a fire under his [censored]????

Pray. Take a deep breath. Calmly and respectfully discuss your needs, and how it ultimately makes you feel unloved and undervalued when he does not express an interest in helping with the kids, being more tender with you, etc. Maybe try to explain the analogy I described above and liken it to how he would feel if he was saying he needed your respect on an issue, and you blatantly ignored this need.

Like you, I had eventually morphed into a nag, a *****, and was an angry person that I just did not like. And honestly, whether my marriage works or not, I do not want to be that person anymore. So, your alternatives should not be 1.) stay silent and get bitter or b.) be a grade A, disrespectful *****.

YOU ARE EQUIPPED!!!! You have some tools now to not only slowly heal from this marital trauma of the A in your life, but to solve some of the issues that were plauging you BEFORE THE A in your M. I mean, isn't that the point???

And staying silent, biting your tongue, hating the man when he sits like a lump in front of the computer, is not one of the tools you have picked up from MB. And showing him a lack of respect by screaming him down, kicking him out of the house, or losing your cool is not one of them either. Neither of you need to be living this right now.

And you need to slow down. SLOW DOWN. I am like you, and I want this crap to be over either way...FAST FAST FAST (almost where I would like to force D and chuck the whole thing, so at least I would be in control of the outcome, and not have to spend all this time in painful uncertainty).

But this will take time. TIME. And, in all honesty, admit this now, but WH is moving along quite quickly. That is probably why everyone is sensing some things that just don't jive and questioning if he is still knee deep in the A. He is showing you he wants the M (not the A), he wants to be with you (not the OW) and he is working through what all of that means for him inside. Coming to terms with who he is. His anger, that is directed at you, may just be anger he really feels at himself. They say it takes 6 weeks for withdrawal to end, AFTER a SOLID NC has been established. Well, it has not been 6 weeks...and the circumstances of his NC are definitely NOT SOLID.

In the meantime, you have to LOWER you expectations DRASTICALLY!!!!!!! Most likely, he cannot give much of anything right now, as most of his energy is probably focused on the emotional mess he has created, and the steps he needs to take to find his way out of that (I am praying you are right, and it is this that has him spent emotionally, not the resurgance of the A). So, the last thing he will probably do is help around the house...be romantic, etc.

So I agree with some of the other recommendations...hire someone to help with the house, hire a part time sitter to some stay with the kids in the afternoons a couple times a week, because, quite honestly, you probably don't have a lot of reserve energy either. Get around people who will help build you back up (family, church friends, GIRLFRIENDS, people you know will support your recovery, but give you the emotional investment you need right now that you cannot get from Dad).

I am not trying to tell you that you are wrong for how you feel, wrong in how you reacted, wrong to want more, wrong to be OVER it...but do you want to be married or be right?????

My guess is you want to be married...so do what you need to expect less from FWH, get the support and resources you need to heal (that your FWH can't give you right now), and CALMLY express your needs to Dad.

And as far as Marriagebuilder weekend....that is not the only great conference out there. And maybe he is a little weary of mixing the freedom he gets to anonomously (sp?) post here vs. having to meet all these people who he has been corresponding with on the board. So go to one of the other conferences. I went to the Family Dynamics conference in Nashville and it was excellent. The Smalley institute offers a 3-day "intensives" seminar for marriages in trauma. I've heard people mention Retrouville (sp?). Or chill...maybe he is not quite ready for that yet. Baby steps. Baby steps to end A. Baby steps to reinvest in the M. (watch What about Bob and laugh your butt off.)

Bottom line is...you are tired. He is tired. But you have to take the whips and spurs off and stop riding him like Zorro. Just come here, share how you feel, vent here. You need an outlet, it is just wasted energy to want that outlet to be your M right now. This is not a "forever" thing...just hold tight for now! Eventually he will have the energy and motivation to make it up to you. And you will both have the tools to be make each other happy!

Hugs to you Mom ((((((((((MOM))))))))))! :-)

mom..question...why is your H on the computer so much. He is not in a chat room, is he?

Ugh.

One step forward,two steps back.One step forward,two steps back.

You know,we spend all this time trying to help your WH see what he is doing wrong and mom,you open your mouth and it's just as bad.Could you please dispense with the LB's once and for all? It's hard enough trying to get your WH in check and now we have a loose cannon,YOU.You just will never get ahead this way and what's worse is you will be the cause of the demise of your marriage if you keep it up.Do you want that on your conscience? Isn't that entirely counter productive in this grand scheme of things?????

If there were any reason for your WH to go back to the OW,you are doing a great job of pushing him there.Don't let her win.Be the one with the dignity and respect.I know it's darn hard but you HAVE TO try to be the one that he wants to be with and you are making that very difficult.

O

M23B,
Your story sounds so much like mine. My H is lying so badly. He thinks I'm dumb enough to believe his stupid excuses. We just got a $500 cell phone bill! Yet he says he can't stand me checking up on him! Well, whatever. I am losing my mind. I know how you feel needing that loving feeling. The other night he rubs my cheek in the middle of the night then goes to sleep. I try to snuggle, but he then pulls away! What do these men want. I do think mg is right. I think my H wants me to kick him out so his family will not be so angry at him. I am not going to do it. It will be his decision! His sons are going to be hurt badly, and I'm not going to be the one to do that. Hang in there....

Hey Mom, I just read your thread. I can feel your frustration, anger, and hurt pouring out of my computer. I need to offer some empathy here. What has been a godsend for me is that I have 2 teenage boys. They are very independent and so I have been able to withdraw into myself when I've needed to without them noticing too much. I can't imagine what it would be like to go through this hell at the active mothering stage. I'm LBing as it is. If I was in your shoes H would have been long gone. Escaped to the loving arms of the "B" because I would have LBed him right out the door.

You are doing amazingly well considering what your responsibilities are. YOU NEED A BREAK!!! Your H obviously makes a lot of money. Start using it for you. Get the help you need to get a break, especially if H won't help you. I think I wrote this to you recently, but I'll say it again. I actually just wrote it to your H. We can't make these WS's do the right thing. I know if my H ends up with OW he will be a miserable man. However, HE needs to realize it.

He just came in here basically irritating me. He went from "I love you, and please don't leave me." yesterday, to "Why did God give us free will and give us temptation. Why didn't God just have us all do the right thing?" Oh please! Then half kidding, saying, "YOU want to help the people on your board, but you don't want to help me." I just ended up LBing him and he left the room because I was talking too loud. Said something He said something like "You're not a saint." My reply, "Nothing I've done even comes close to your A. So don't even think of comparing us."

I'm laughing Mom. I should have never answered your post. We both want to LB and DJ are H's to kindom come, don't we? So I'll give you some great advice. Whatever i do, don't you do. Continue to follow all the wise ones on this board. Maybe we'll both get through this if we do.

I did tell your H what I told mine. That it isn't all about him choosing you, but you have to choose him. And at the moment he ain't the greatest prize. Maybe sometimes these WS's need to be knocked down a few pegs, of course in the most loving way. Hang in there girl! Be the best you. I've even stopped checking H's e-mail, and I think I want to start going out more. He can do what he wants. Either he will work at this M, or he won't. Both you and I will know when we've had enough. I'm not there yet, and I don't think you are either. CV

Mom,
I read Dad's answer on his post. He is not working on your marriage because he has given up. He says he is not sure about commitment and is on the fence.

He also knows that the OW was a mistake, he was just skirt chasing if you will.

Your marriage CAN survive if you both get professional help ASAP! He is not happy and neither are you but you cannot fix this alone.

You and your boys deserve tha chance to give this everyone's best shot and try to stay together. Children odf divorce suffer in many areas and statistics prove this. Fight like H@%$ to save it NOW!

Please keep us posted, Ladysing

I want to thank all of you for your posts and although I do not have time to address each one right now, I will at a later time.

I know I am going to get chewed out for what I did and what I am about to tell you. I did a major NON MB thing last night. The buck did not stop when he came back in the door. He made a comment of how we could never do anything because of those blankety blank kids! Yea, and your point IS... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I mean we are a FAMILY! sorry i cant live in your fantasy life with you, but yes we do have kids and I live up to my responsibilities...OK that set me off in a tangent. he thinks we can just drop everything and go...NO, he has to learn to be a family man. I told him at that point if he doesn't think he can then he needs to rethink his position and maybe he IS better off out there alone.

OK, No, it doesn't stop there...after I put the kids down we continue on our discussion...mind you never heated...But I felt I needed to get into his head. He IS NOT listening to anyone on this board. Or to me. I have made it clear that He has to make a committment one way or the other..he is in or out. He finally said that he wanted tocommit to the marriage. I saw the sincerity in his face at this point. I made it clear to him that I am at my wits end and I cant wait around and be second fiddle for much long. I am supposed to sit here and act like ntohing ever happened while he goes about his business and is basicaly just using this place as a place to stay and go. he is not the father nor the husband. He said he KNOWS that the marriage will work out...and that is the first time that I had heard him say that. I am emotionally drained and I cant give it my all anymore without anything in return. I have to get SOMETHING. I feel as though I as the BS am the one taking all the blame for the Affair.

We talked for a long time and I think I got into his head a bit. He knows that I am not going to wait around forever and he may lose US and OW. I honestly think that he wont ever go back to OW now....But if he doesn't come around soon here, we may be gone too. He then made the comment of him being an absent father for 4 months now. That bothered him. I asked him at what points does he NOT want to work on the marraige and he said when he is just sitting there and the kids are driving him nuts and he just wants to escape and not be here. I told him THIS is reality. That is being a family. You ahve got to stop that attitude...and lose the selfishness.. He agreed and was very understanding.

I know none of this is MB concepts...But I think it is working on my H. Steve Harely even told H last week that I was on the edge and he needed to stop fence sitting and make some choices. Steve supports and understands my standings here. He does not condone it(is that the right word)...We talk to him today at 10:00... this will be an interesting one.

Now I must do the kid run and will be back shortly to address all your posts seperately. Thanks for you support....now go ahead and blast me...I'm ready! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Mom,
I would have been harsh if you had LB'ed over something trivial, but after reading about dad's comments I would like a 2x4 to whack him myself!

I have had concerns about his role as a father and it seems that the kids may be the issue here in his eyes. He says that the marriage will work out but I don't see him making any commitment to being a better father. Your marriage, and his fatherhood are all intertwined, thats REALITY!

He wants to work on the marriage but resents the kids. My parental instinct has kicked in and I am just fuming, I don't blame you for last night, he just pushed you over the edge. I am thankful that you will be talking to Steve today, you really need that.

Have you planned any family outings together this week? i don't mean stress filled mall or amusement park stuff, maybe a picnic in the park with some sports bballs to amuse the boys while you talk.

For this marriage to recover, he is going to have to want to be a part of the whole family, not just the marriage. The stress of everyday living, work, children is overwhelming and you need time together without a ringing phone or a beeping dryer.

Please try to spend family time and if possible, take the advice many have given to get away as a couple for a weekend. I know that it would have helped us, but with 3 boys and no family for help, we NEVER spent any time as a couple either, I understand.

I posted to dad last night and addressed the fatherhood issue, ironic that it came up last night, i really saw this coming...

It seems that he mentions spending time on the computer, at the rece track etc. but never mentions activities that involve you and the boys. He is immersing himself in himself...not very helpful is it? He is ignoring all of the good advice he is getting here, I pray that he will go back and read all of the replies.

Keep your head and have a good day, you can do it! Ladysing

IMO i think you (even if it's just you) at least need to do more (more frequent)counseling. mom, it's getting really sad to read your posts. you are in a race to finish, not to sprint. realize what you do now is what will help you in the long run. you have got to give your H every reason to stay and not to leave. i would almost venture to say not to think whether or not he is seeing or contacting the OW. you need to show that the changes you have made are for real and not done in crisis management so to speak. validate his feelings and meet his needs because then he will in turn be able to meet yours. won't happen w/the continued LB's. much prayers to you.

well, I do not want to really say thank you for what you are going thru, but looking at it from the outside I am seeing myself and the good advice I would give you should be the very advice I should be taking.

I am doing private sessions witht he MC. I am doing 75 minute sessions. It is helping - a little- he tells me to bring my anger there, to write down the thought that fill my head all day, the endless questions I want to ask, the frustration I feel with this quick sand path we are walking on. Write it down and let no one read it (except the MC if I want)

It took us 2 trys to get the MC right, and I think we were lucky to find this guy. I think a pro D person is the WRONG person. One of my first questions is Do you believe a marriage can survive this and do you have the skills to teach us to get thru this. Then at the first visit he gave us the EN and LB questionair, so I knew we were going in the right direction.

My Dear WH slipped the last few weeks. He worked with this OW and had promised NC. He did OK and then called on the pretense of business.

This contract has been cancelled and we have no business with her company and I have explained the future of any business is NIL beause of his A. We will just have to find another contract or do without. NC is NC on all facets - Business goes second to our marriage and family. Period.

I guess wht surprises me the most with your husband is how he wrote about how good (and bad) be felt about the OW kid being impressed with him. I thought my WH had the biggest ego on earth! But his kids are a secondary consideration or a pesty problem? Mine needs to mentor on the side, but how about taking the time to spend with our kids without making it seem like he is "fitting it in"

My journalist spouse need more admiration than most. I guess your Doc is even worse. Why can they not step back and see how ignorant they are. Just one flash of light into their brains so they have an idea of what they are missing/doing.

I understand your anger, frustration, need to explode. I feel like if I keep this all in I may just fall down. I know I should not say this but I have told him that he brought this into our lives and MUST understand that I do not like the person I turn into, but I can not fake it all of the time. I have asked him to be proactivly affectioante when he sees me ramping up to this anger and fear and even if it is not attractive to him, he is the cause of it and should step up before I turn inside out!

Hang in there. some of the advice/feedback here sounds harsh, but it is right.

Mom -

I didn't read through the entire thread, but a couple of your comments in your first post really screamed at me about something.

Have you read "Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars?"

I am about half-way through it, and reading about your H's behaviors, I'm wondering if learning why he does the things he does might help you two with communication.

Once I realized my H would be returning home, I put away my Affair books - for now - and began searching out and reading relationship and communication books.

It is just a thought. These books have given me insight into my H's actions. Now when he does things that used to irritate me, sometimes I know he is processing and I am glad he is doing them!

Good luck. This recovery is very . . . interesting. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

SS

Mom - first i want to say I am so sorry. Reading your H's posts and your posts over the last few weeks has given me strength and hope when I needed it most. This is the roller coaster ride we hear of so often here - but remember you will go back up again. It will take time to get through this and I know the hardest part is being the one who has to be the positive one - even in the face of slap in the face treatment. What gives me hope is that it is proven to work!! Remember that when you are at your lowest and wondering why - this program works!!

Find something you can do for yourself to make yourself feel better - you need that!! And pray! Give all of your anger to God - let him know exactly how you feel (no worry about LBing there!)

We're all here for you. Keep us posted.

Mom, personally I think the talk you had with your H might have been a good thing. I'm not talking about the LBing. My bashing OW, for example, caused my H to want to contact her. He didn't, but that is what he told me. However, over the weekend when I became very indifferent to my H and basically told him I didn't know what I wanted anymore, it brought him out of the fog a little. It lets the the WS know EVERYTHING isn't just about THEM. It let my H know that there will be a time limit to what I can take, and I'm not sure when that will be, but hopefully he will stop waffling before I've had enough.

Your H appears to have a HUGE ego. It doesn't mean YOU have to buy into it. So he's a doctor. Big SH&&! Hopefully in time he will begin to lose the arrogant defense mechanism, which were his words, and begin to get real with you. Maybe if he can feel safe enough to show you his vulnerable side he can grow. In the meantime have a calm strength. I think that shakes these H's up. Vent like crazy when you want to knock his teeth out for being an A##. I will try to follow my own advice.

I also agree whith ChristyV about maybe you're pushing too hard for the MB weekend. If I were your H the last thing I'd want to do his have dinner with all the folks who have been hitting him with major 2x4's. Of course he deserved every last whack. I'm just suggesting that you try and see it from his perspective. I think my H and I are doing the Retrouvaille retreat this weekend. If we go I'll let you know if it was worth it.

Hang tough Mom. If you and I make it through this we'll have to meet somewhere and celebrate. Leave the causes of our pain at home to take care of the kids. CV

MOM,

So sorry you are stuck on this hell ride, but I agree with the others. You need to pull back and Plan A. Most successful recoveries involve tiny baby steps (with frequent huge steps backwards), and you can't expect him to be fully involv3ed with OW one day and back to you as perfect husband and father the next.

I know you've been through hell and you just want this all over. Try to appreciate the fact that he is still there physically. That is the first step. He seems to understand that the OW was a bad idea and that situation would never work out, but he needs to get over that idea before he becomes the husband you want him to be. I would not push to go to the MB weekend either. I think this would be a huge LB and he would feel like everyone is ganging up on him there. Look into Retrouvaille. My H and I did this in the beginning while he was still in the midst of his A...and this is actually where he finally told me the truth (or at least as close to the truth as he could at that point). And though we did not stay for the whole weekend, I believe it was a turning point for him to see all the other ordinary people having problems just like us.

Hang in there, it gets better if you let it.
Heck

Mom,

I am sorry I was tough on Dad..
I dont believe him right now..I know you dont think there is contact, but I think there is.

Every hospital has "Doctors" room. H tells me all the time Docs are in there talking on the phone (he has to call me at the nurses station to let me know when he will be out of OR).

Those calls you cant monitor...ask him for the bills at his clinics. See if he is calling her home or cell. Do they email? ask for his password and see. My H spends alot of time on the computer...BUT he lets me sit with him and he gives me his passwords (he has mine too).

You H is weak right now...MLC if you will (his comment about the boys)..Grass is greener...on the other side. He commits to the marriage VERBALLY...not through actions...

How can you be sure he is buying time until he finds somewhere else to go?

I guess you cant worry about this stuff...just keep one eye open at all times...

PLEASE work on YOU...YOU.. I know you have your trainer...how about time out night for you and a friend to shop go to the movie...etc..
Get strong...REALLY strong...WHY?

Cuz MOM our H's as weak as they are...they have been trained to be IRON MEN..we need to be better than that...training...we can do it too..

FOCUS on YOU and what YOU WANT...you cant make him do squat...he sounds like he is riding this out to see what YOU do...ACTION...

YOUR H needs to have action...he needs to consider his marriage and family a severe MVA and its hemmorraging what would the good ER doc do?...Hopefully he would put a stop to it..
BUT it takes ACTION !!!Not the yea I am here..so I guess I will work on the marriage...

Dont ask him that again....he will tell you what he needs to NOT to get kicked out...

Your an awesome woman... I admire your strength
You make a perfect wife...and your a great MOM

DONT let anyone take that from you...ever

Mom

Is your H arrogant enough to try to keep the lie going? If he is online alot I am very suspicious he is continuing this and is in touch with the OW this way. IMHO, most doctors cannot possibly have hours of time to spend on a computer unless there is something going on.

He is being very suspicious treating you so rudely the day you showed up at the hospital too. I would highly suspect he was nervously waiting for you to leave so he could do what he wanted..and part of what he seems to want is to keep his secret life. It is obvious to so many of us and yet you are in denial..

I'm so sorry he is putting you through this. You dont deserve it.. I hope soon you will see what is happening.. I hope for your sake he is being honest but the red flags are flying.. Take care of yourself..

c_p