Hi to all those who still remember me, and a special hi to you if you don't know me yet.

The short story is that my husband committed adultery and left our marriage over a year ago. Actually, the anniversary of DDay was just over a week ago.

In that year, I have made a pretty good go of the new opportunities that this awful situation offered me. One of which was to go and live overseas. I have been out of my home country for 3 months. Spent a month travelling in Thailand and Cambodia. Then landed in the UK where I have been working ever since.

I left MBers behind too. This is my first post here in at least 4 months. I got to a stage with MBers where I couldn't find anything to move on with. Trying to help others became too frustrating and reminded me of my lack of success with my own marriage - who was I to be dispensing advice???

ANYWAY, you ask, why am I back here?? I am asking myself the very same thing. The unanswered questions from my marriage/separation/impending divorce are coming up again and again for me. Things that I can rationalise away, and thought I had put to rest keep cropping up.

I haven't really talked to the soon-to-be-ex-husband since sending a Plan B letter almost 11 months ago. And I don't wish to talk to him either. The thing is, that I feel like I need answers from him. If only I could get the answers I need without talking to him!

Before I left my home country, I had thought that I was very near to closing this chapter of my life (except for the actual divorce - but that's another matter) but this journey half way around the world has just shown me that I hadn't really put things to rest.

Anyone else out there feel the same way?? I'm sure I can't be the only one!! Please let me know if you have been through something similar, because right now I am finding it really hard to enjoy the beautiful sights I am seeing on the other side of the world all because of a stupid A$$ of a husband! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Enigma, I know how you feel, and it's particularly bad when you're right at the anniversary point (as am I). It seems like every one of the painful memories shows up and hurts you again.

The comfort I take is in actually comparing the two. Today, I cry for the loss of my marriage. A year ago, I hadn't lost my marriage yet.... but WP was screaming at me about how awful I was. And one year ago tonight was the night she decided that she didn't want me to adopt WP. Oh, it took a while to get there, but this was the night that she made the decision.

So I look back at all that and all the horrible things that happened, and then I look around my environment today. A clean, neat home. Furniture in much better shape than last year. No rooms full of trash. A daughter asleep in her crib after a joyous afternoon of a walk and playing in the park and with the boy next door.

And I realize that even though I have lost my marriage and WP is still being, as you say, rather a pain in the rear end.... my loss is no longer knife-fresh. And my WP has much less ability to make my life miserable than she did.

I voted with my feet at nearly the same time you did, though I had much less distance I could go and was never able to get out of contact all the way. Even so, my journey has brought me many good things. Have I healed completely? No, far from it. But I am healing and I am stronger... and in the end, the worst of days right now are better than the best of the days were then.