My spouse and I have been seperated for months now and we have both been involved with other people to a degree. We continue to see one another during this time as well. My question is that during a seperation, should either of us become intimate with someone other than each other, is it cheating?

Yes.

loosingit,

Let's play technical in here ... cheating implies deception or dishonesty. There are couples live as swinger ... does it count as cheat ?. If your SO knows very well & no deception or dishonesty it is not cheating. However it depend on your moral value, it might be against yours. I wouldn't get involve w/ separated or even divorcing women myself. I will wait until the whole mess is done.

Does dating while separated is good for your M ? of course not !. It will complicated to patch your M.

Does SO know ?

-rh-

Hey,

Does it really matter what you call it? If either of you want to save your marriage, you may want to worry more about what you both are doing rather than how you define it.

This is a great board. Surf here, read and post. You may not always like the replies you get, but you can be sure that they will be honest and straightforward.

dewt

SO does not know anything. We are considering getting back together and I feel that it could prevent that from happening. I want to be honest about everything and I know it is only fair. I really don't even know what my SO has done or how far they have gone.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by loosingit:
<strong> SO does not know anything. We are considering getting back together and I feel that it could prevent that from happening. I want to be honest about everything and I know it is only fair. I really don't even know what my SO has done or how far they have gone. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It is cheating ....

I suggest you read up on MB Basic concept ... pay attention about ENs, LBs, RH, and undivided attentions (Time). Read up also How A started, and how it should ends ... (w/ NC).

Yes, you should be honest and tell your SO ... Again it is not about what has been done but what are you & SO willing to do to fix this mess ?. If SO can't take it now what do you think SO could when SO find out after ward ?.

This info. is not to hurt each other but to build on and move on. I would get conseling w/ MB if you could afford it !. fly to my town San Francisco for MB weekend if your SO are open to it.

-rh-

<small>[ April 13, 2004, 03:43 PM: Message edited by: redhat ]</small>

Dating while separated seems like a mean thing to do to the person you are dating. The only possible exception would be if you are simply waiting for the final court ordered divorce to take place.

I believe separation is a time to be alone and think about your life and what you want.It does not mean to me that you go out dating and try other people on for size. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Unless there is an agreement that you would both be able to date during that time then that may be different but since your SO doesn't know anything about your involvement, I would consider it Adultery if she and you have had sex with these other people.

O

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by JustinExplorer:
<strong> Dating while separated seems like a mean thing to do to the person you are dating.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am not sure if it is a mean thing to do ... as long as the OP knows what he/she is getting into. However it is against my value and beleive.

-rh-