how's everyone doing today?

looks like i have some catching up to do here <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Happy belated birthday tinman!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
I meant to write that yesterday and didn't.

Durham76. so good to see you here. i've been meaning to post to you on one of your threads, but i've been shamefully behind in posting at all! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
keep your spirits up and take care of yourself. keep posting, u will find lots of support here.

so everyone, to update u a little. (i am the m1ch1gan fan - if u haven't figured that out yet) i have heard from the h, he has tried to get my attention in a few different ways, but i am avoiding it. i also have a strong suspicion that he may be lurking on this board (hence the name change) but i am holding onto plan b and staying in the dark until i hear these words from him - "there is nc w/ow." <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

take care!

RR I'm still smoking to answer your question. Ok anyone else chime in here I've been listening to voicemails and reading emails when she sends them. I don't have a problem with this and it's actually kind of funny. Ok I had a hard time on the first email she sent me but I've been fine ever since. The question is should I listen to my voicemail when she sends me one? I can do the email because if I don't like the direction it's going I'll just delete it. Like I said none of this contact is bothering me yet but if she gets annoying with it I will call intermediate and have them inform W to stop calling.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I'm still smoking to answer your question</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> me too bud...maybe we can work on that together after this other stress lightens up a bit..ok here's what I did today..since I have previously been in contact with WS...resent no contact letter and told him info only through a intermediary...so I got two replies from him already and yep I read them...basically the same old crap...don't cut off contact with me etc. etc. ...I took his mail over to a mutual friend today and I am planning on filing for a legal separation the end of the week so now he knows I mean business...of course I did not reply to his emails...but for me I have to read them to see if he says anything positive...but nada yet...

WTG usthree glad to see your doing well, I was trying to figure out who you were duh. Sounds like your Plan B is working also. I really don't feel like mine is working since my W email has statements of easy seperation and she can't be with me that way (which I assume means married). I have a question what if my W decides to come over unannounced, what should I do? I will keep the garage door closed so it looks like no one is home. Looking forward to talking to Jennifer tonight to see what she has to say. I will update later.

which thread are you going to keep going? this one or the crash and burn one? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> you know what you need to do now as far as changing locks, codes, etc. protecting yourself while you are in plan B and you are back in plan B right? you've picked yourself up, learned from what happened and are starting a new day. prayers to you.

BTW i smoke occasionally too so don't think i'm getting on your case or anyone else for that matter, we have to chose our battles because some have been chosen for us.

I'm not going to change the locks or the code again there's no sense in it. I wanted the key to be a symbol that I want to be able to trust you again. She brought up the point how do you think it make's me feel that I can't get into our house? I couldn't answer that. I looked at the key like an olive branch. I don't know if she got that or not probobly not. I did ask her that if she comes to pick up her stuff that OM doesn't come with her because I don't want him in our house. I hope she respects this.

Holy Cow..Tinman so much developments...yep the way I see it WS wanted to push your buttons and get her fix..just like my WS the other day...stay dark man ..I have had three emails since I went dark yesterday...and with each they get nastier..and no response from me...WS has racked up his credit cards on new business...now into debt up to his eyeballs ..wants me to separate the assets...we are spliiting another 18k so how much does this man need...he is now threatening to leave town if his business fails and of course I am to blame for all of this..sometimes he would be doing us all a favor by doing this..all about him every step of the way...such a sad pathetic individual right now...I have begged him to get him and straighten his life around but have got to the point where I am done...only he can help himself...

NO sounds like your darkness is working I wish mine still was oh well. I know she needed a fix I mean she could have sent that stupid paper that she had in the mail duh. It looks like your strong now keep up the good work I'm working my way back into the darkness.

You'll get there. We all have setbacks. Don't be too hard on yourself. It was working before, it will work again. Just get back there, and watch the fireworks.

tinman, how did you do last night and are you starting this day fresh and "dark?" prayers to you.

Hi Plan B-ers!

I'm checking out this thread because I might be in Plan B but it would be a Modified Plan B at best, and probably isn't Plan B at all, just a separation. Confusing isn't it? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Anyway, one of my kids needs the computer now so I have to check out the thread later--I want to mention something to usthree....

If you change your name, your user id# stays the same and your name is changed on all your posts. If you're concerned about a particular lurker and he knows your user id#, he will still easily be able to find your posts by doing a search by id#. You would have to register as a new user to change your id#, but if lurker finds the post that you tell everyone who you are you're screwed again. You might consider doing that through private email and asking others not to "out" you on the boards.

Take care everyone

RR I'm back in the dark again but I still have that one statement that my W made, "How can we work on our M if you won't talk to me" I know there is no sense in working on it as long as she's living with Richard Cranieum so I go dark again. I'm hopeing the seeds I plated are growing but she's so deep in the fog right now I doubt it.

TM,
I think the one positive thing in this is this statement by your WW.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> "How can we work on our M if you won't talk to me" </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It shows me that the thought is there. It may be covered in fog, and she may still be with OM, but the thought is there, and she expressed it. That feeling won't just go away. Going back to Plan B will only enhance that.

I'm two weeks in and haven't heard a peep from my WW. I talk to MIL (intermediary) from time to time, but 95% of the conversation is about financial matters. It seems that my WW is very much still in "me" mode.

I actually don't expect to see or hear from her again until she files for D. Louisiana is a "no-fault" state, which means after living apart for 180 days, that is pretty much it if one party files. That date will be at the end of June. She's probably got a little calendar and is crossing off the days <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I was unpacking stuff at my townhouse yesterday and went through our pictures. I took them from our house, b/c I didn't want her to get pi$$ed and cut them up or something. (I didn't think she would, but I also didn't think she'd drop 3 A's on me in less than 3 years, so never say never!) I think the saddest thing about looking at the pics was seeing all the good times we had when it was just she and I. Her first A got to PA level about four months into our M, so the EA probably started well before that. We've never really gotten to see what M could be like with just me and her. That sucks.......... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />


Ethan

I've done a little thinking last night and this morning, maybe I should give up and give my W what she want's it seems that her mind is set on DV. If I could get the house before they raise the intrest rate in the next couple of months and keep the house without a big hassle I keep having these thoughts in my head it would be easier for both of us. My mind isn't set yet so I'm not sure. Don't get me wrong money is not importent to me and my M is but it just doesn't seem worth it at this point. It seems like this is going to be one of those 2 year A and I don't think I have the strength to wait that long.

I'm in the exact same boat as you. I think even if I didn't sign the D papers when they come, and waited another 6 months, my W would rather stick this out to show everyone that she was right, even if she figures out it's wrong.

Eathen thanks for the food for thought, I know I say things on here, like my last post I don't know if it's just a vent and maybe I feel better making statements like that just to get them off my chest. I hope your right about my W statement. Thanks again.

Hi guys..I think we all feel that way today...here we are trying to save our marriages...and all we get is anger and rejection ...so hard to understand what happened to our Ws's...just keep looking after yourselves guys and try not to focas on our WS's..remember you can't control them but you can take control of yourselves and that is my motto for today <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

<small>[ May 06, 2004, 09:39 AM: Message edited by: New Outlook ]</small>

Tinman:

"maybe I should give up and give my W what she want's it seems that her mind is set on DV."

But it isn't really HER mind, is it? 2uestion is, what do you want 2 do? What do you KNOW is right? Do that.

best,
-ol' 2long

2long your are totally correct I know what the right thing to do is, and that is to help my W through these hard times in our lives. I know that this decision she is making in her current mindset is wrong and I so want to be there for her when this all come's crashing down around her. So I will stay the course "for better or worse" right.

absolutely tinman! and what's wrong w/proving you're right? you say she wants to prover herself right but we know we (BS) are in better positions already and i'm sorry but i am not a person that usually takes the easy way out. for better or worse, like you said, i'm not going to let my H have the easy way out by me just walking away. yes, others may think i'm being easy by doing plan A but i don't think that and SH doesn't think, and most importantly i'm pretty sure God doesn't think that because this happened for a reason. stay the course and prayers to you.