Tinman...once the D is final...i guess you can say anything you want!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

NewO...sorry to hear about your situation. Grief all you want girl...you need it. After crying your heart out...you will feel better and stronger. I was there and now i feel much much better.

I am sure this legal stuff is also causing WH pain so his reaction is anger. His taker is moving in big time!

Why you have never seen this type of personality from him before is because he has never been hurt this bad before! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Wanted to wish all of my fellow Plan Bers (and others) the best this weekend. I'm going to some Margarita/Jimmy Buffet fest thing in MS tonight and then going to see Live (almost my favorite band) Saturday night.

I'm hoping that Live doesn't play WW and I's wedding song (Dance With You). That may be challenging......We'll see how it goes.

I hope to be a bit more active here next week. I've been a little quiet since my "activities" of last weekend. I hope to update on Sunday.

Good Luck to all,
Ethan

Tinman,

I haven't been on the forum much lately and I'm sorry to hear that you and your WW are filing for divorce. But, I also think that you will be just fine in the end. I've known you on this board for a while and I can tell when someone is a good person and you are. So, don't you worry because I think that you will eventually meet a wonderful woman and you are going to be so happy and someday you are going to think back and say "what was I thinking...".

My former best friend did the exact same thing to her husband just like what your wife did and you remind me a lot of him. Well, only about two years after the separation/divorce, he is happily married to a beautiful wonderful woman and he just became a daddy while my former best friend is still single and still looking... The A never worked out...

So, stay true to yourself and stay strong. Someone out there is looking for someone like you and then you will experience what true intimate and trusting love is all about.

Kati

Kati thank you so much for those kind words, I know that I will find someone who will respect, appreciate, and love me for who I am and the bonus is that I have the tools now to build a lasting relationship for life.

Grrrrrrrrrr...4 months i ignore the credit card bills...refusing to open them. Each time i gave the bills to WS without checking but today my fingers got itchy.

Aaarrrrrrrghhh he spent 2 nights at an expensive hotel with B8tch and two times dining at a new restaurant. Bought so much gifts during his business trip which i dont what but definately for you know who!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> Spent another 1K just on telephone bills!!!

Just a month ago he was complaining about being broke and need me to help out in paying the household bills! What a creep! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I learn that i need to face all these irritating and hurting issues until i could look at them and feel nothing. I guess that is the end result of plan B...go on and on until you feel completely numb.

However NOW i am still raving mad! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Grrrrrrrrrr...4 months i ignore the credit card bills...refusing to open them. Each time i gave the bills to WS without checking but today my fingers got itchy.

Aaarrrrrrrghhh he spent 2 nights at an expensive hotel with B8tch and two times dining at a new restaurant. Bought so much gifts during his business trip which i dont what but definately for you know who!! Spent another 1K just on telephone bills!!!

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Zizzy I don't know what state you are at in this rollercoaster ride but have you cancelled all joint credit cards yet...if not that is the first thing you need to do and next establish credit in your own name..apply for credit cards before you either start legal separation or D...it is imperative that you do this tout de suite hon...then you will not be responsible for any of his credit cards bills and you will not have to see this going on under your nose...it is too painful...also you will be able to keep tabs on everything he is spending in any remaining joint accounts...

my WS not only had one cell phone bill of 1200 dollars but also flew OW to Florida and put her up in a hotel thirty miles from our Florida home while I was there...it was very painful to find this out..now after cancelling joint credit I do not have to see what he is spending on her and what he is spending he is responsible for paying ..not me..one thing I refuse to do is fund another family from my half of our income...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Just a month ago he was complaining about being broke and need me to help out in paying the household bills! What a creep!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">They all try this tactic...my WS cried he was eating hotdogs and living poor...I felt sorry for him and even gave him a refund check for insurance until my conflict with OW and saw her sporting a new leather M/C jacket and helmet...these WS's will try any tactic to manipulate and cause pain...first rule Zizzy protect yourself financially and do this asap...

<small>[ June 20, 2004, 07:44 AM: Message edited by: New Outlook ]</small>

hi All- this seems to be the biggest pla B sort of thread anywhere on MB so I am joining in. H
A was in 2002. one month ago after false recovery he walked out. didn't take anything with him but his meds. I see him around town-occasional email or phone call from me. sons at home 19 and 22 will not speak to him at all. he insists ow and he are just friends and refuge right now while he figures out what to do. insists he doesn't want her and thats not why he left. doesn't want to raise her young child etc. H pays household bills and lives off a cash business but none of us are living too well. getting by. seperately together. I pray alot for him to turn back toward the Lord but am growing weary- a month might not be long for some but for us it is outrageous. we are all under medical care and its not getting better. I don't know what to say or do anymore-I don't want a D and he says he doesn't know-isn't ready to talk. I try to leave him alone but without filing for D I have to discuss weekly the finances. thats my story- any ideas????????

PEACE OUT

<small>[ June 20, 2004, 08:08 AM: Message edited by: sprezzatura ]</small>

Sprezzatura...could you supply a bit more details ...how long have you been married..age of WS etc...your WS could be going through a mid life crisis and if that is the case..they need to be left alone to sort things through...in the meantime I would suggest you do whatever you can to protect yourself financially...I have posted some info about mid life crisis on this thread...take a peak and see if this applies to your WS...

<small>[ June 20, 2004, 08:43 AM: Message edited by: New Outlook ]</small>

hi NO- M 24 years. TRULY a MLC. WH 42-BS, me 43. where on this thread? I am too weary to read 48 pages- you know around what page? fainted in church today- my thread is unraveling. thanks so much for responding.

PEACE OUT

Thanks NO...dont worry...i am fine financially. We have no joint account. We have separated savings. He has agreed to my terms. I told WH if he dare to contest on any of my demands...ALL HELL will break loose. I kind of threaten WH <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I told him i will go after that lying thief if he says no to my demands. WH is soooooo afraid of that. He thinks OW is so weak and needs all the protection from dear ole me. If you saw me you will be surprise...i am so petite and OW much bigger!!!

I think WH is not afraid of the physical part but more afraid that i might scared away his dear lying thief! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Remembered that car chase night? He held me down and would NOT allow me to come close to OW house! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I am lucky to have this POWER to scare the sh*t out of WH! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Sprezz...am posting a link to a thread that will give you some info on mid life crisis...

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=8;t=010711

Zizzy..glad to hear you are protected financially...you take care and keep your chin up....

Sprezz...also take a look at this link...sure helped me understand what Ws is going through...

http://midlifecrisisforum.com/eve/ubb.x?a=tpc&s=3106003104&f=9846084204&m=3806007204

Hi all well I have someting to tell you: I have a new girlfrieds she is so sweet and low mantinance. I love her so much and she is so fun to ride. Now before I get 2x4rd it's not a person it's a Harley, bought my DV/midlife crisis toy. So I spent the whole weekend riding my cares away. I hope everyone else had as good a weekend as I did. Here's today's quote.


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> "Where there is great love, there are always wishes."
-Willa Cather </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Whew! i was worried for about 10 seconds and i just knew in my heart that the tinman wouldn't be talking this way unless there was a punchline. prayers to you.

Double whewwwww... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Now before I get 2x4rd it's not a person it's a Harley, bought my DV/midlife crisis toy. So I spent the whole weekend riding my cares away. I hope everyone else had as good a weekend as I did. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ok..Tinny inquiring minds want to know...what did you buy?...I have been out a few times on mine this year but try not to go out alone but in a group as I do not want to ride by WS and his OW...just too painful...too bad we were were not closer...could use a riding companion...

V-rod is what I bought has a tricked out paint job so it looks different. Very cool got comment's on it all weekend.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> V-rod is what I bought has a tricked out paint job so it looks different. Very cool got comment's on it all weekend.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Very nice choice (thumbs up)...nothing like the rumble of a Harley <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> ...now have you punched out the baffles yet.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Not yet but once I take my test for my class M licence that will be my first project.

Good Job Tinman,

I just went and got the manual myself. I am thinking about getting a Harley also. Can't wait to take the test and get it over with.

HINY