WS called me to give me his new phone no.. (I hadn't talked to him in a month. He would call but I'd never know what to say so I never returned his calls - called from his new no.). He said, "You can call you know." I said, so can you. He said I've tried but you never call back. I said I never know when a good time is and then he gave me his work schedule. He then told me he was happy with his little family. (WS, her 2 kids, and one on the way). I was in Plan B for 6 months a year ago, and then it looked like we were getting back together when OW was all of a sudden was pregnant. We still talked about having a child of our own and then he moved 90 miles away for a job. Does the fog ever lift? It's been 16 months now since DDay and it seems like a lifetime. I have no idea what to do next. If A's chance is less than 3% then why do I feel this way and why don't I know what to do? Does the fact that he still calls mean anything? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Cyn,
I'm so sorry for what you're feeling.

Take care of YOU.... this will run it's course...but you take care of you.

Of COURSE the "little family" he has right now will run out of time. He's caught in a trap right now...and he's doing what he thinks is the responsible thing.

He doesn't want to lose contact with you...this makes me think that he wants you to be there IN CASE this just doesn't work out in the end. Doesn't that sound like what he is doing ?

You keep doing what you're doing. If you move on..you move on...if you don't... you don't...but above all..do what is best for YOU !!!!

We're here for you.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He doesn't want to lose contact with you...this makes me think that he wants you to be there IN CASE this just doesn't work out in the end. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I agree 100% it sounds like the classic case of I don't want to live with you but don't want to let you go. Wants to keep you holding on & make sure you don't move on.

If he was really all that happy in fantasy land w/ OW & supposed OC on the way + OW's 2 kids why is he concerned about keeping in contact w/ you?

Even in fogland they still manage to play games with you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

It drives you crazy. Could it be he has to tell me he's happy because he wants to convince me or himself? I know he's one to never admit he's wrong. So do I still talk to him or what? When I was in Plan B it was so hard. And now I feel like I'm starting all over again.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Cyn1018:
<strong> If A's chance is less than 3% then why do I feel this way and why don't I know what to do? Does the fact that he still calls mean anything?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Stop guessing and until and unless he does more than that, the phone call is just a phone call.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>It drives you crazy.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">exactly ! why you want to go there again ?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>When I was in Plan B it was so hard. And now I feel like I'm starting all over again. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yeap, any contact will restart you again. Are you in plan B ?. It looks like your H's A is a long one. My exW's is 2.5 years and still going even her life is not what she would expected at all.

-rh-

Yeah, it may be just a phone call but why call at all? I mean he doesn't have to. I haven't called him in like a month or so. It's not like we really have much to discuss at this point. I
do agree with others that he still wants to keep in touch for some reason, whatever it is. If something is truly over then why bother calling at all? Doesn't make any sense if you ask me.

Well, Cyn...he did give you his phone number and he did ask you to call him....

Would you want him back if he wanted to come back? Or is your love bank basically empty and you would rather find a new honey?

Are you divorced?
How old are you and he?

I always believe that if you were once truly in love and content, that you can be again!

Sincerely, Julie

I would most definitely take him back. I see my part in all of this as well. I guess I never thought I'd be going through this and took everything for granted. I found some letters he had written to me about 4 yrs. ago and they are so full of love and happiness. One particular letter said, "You will never lose me." It shattered my heart to read it. We had been through some very tough times together in 13 yrs. and always managed to come out stronger.

Cyn1018,

Don't guess if you don't want to go crazy.

Take it as is ... just a phone call,fyi.

-rh-

Gee Redhat, why are you being so negative? You know he didn't have to call at all. I basically don't call people to make "just a phone call" for no reason. Doesn't make any sense. I could find someone's name out of the phone book then. Also why did he feel I needed to have his new phone no.? Yeah, I always give out my no. to people I don't want to talk to.

Anymore suggestions? I could use some. Also anyone else's opinion.