You know, they kick you and you just come running back wagging your tail?
I left our house last night to do physical harm to OM because I had been told by WW that he was stocking her and our children and that the cops refused to enforce the protective order we have against him. She said she was scared for her safty and the safty of our children. So off I went to do what I thought a good father and husband should do. However, before taking things into my own hands I made one last desperate attempt to get the cops to do their job only to find out from the sheriff that WW had waived the order a month ago.
I am so tired of finding out new info all the time and then having WW tell me it was to spare me. I can't tell you how many times I've set her down and said okay, this is free pass day I've stuck by this long just get it all out there in the open. Wagg wagg wagg kick me again.
I have such a bad attitude today and we had been doing so well.

Mr. E.

I am sorry for your pain. It is such a hard thing for a WW to do, trust enough to put it all out there. BUT it is 100% manditory. No one should have to keep having mini-discoveries messing them up.

i just wanted to acknowledge your post and your pain/frustrations. good luck.

Oh E,
I am so sorry- I thought things were good- we all seem to hit bumps in the road- that was a lousy thing for her to do- it sometimes makes me wonder her motives- why tell you she was being stalked, did she think that you would not find out? It does not make sense- is she trying to push to see how far you will go? Your analogy about the dog is right on- but not anymore for me-I am looking out for myself- until I feel like I can fully be the way I used to be- it will be more effort from him from now on- I am just done with jumping through hoops- you need to get control of the situation- she is basically calling the shots and that is unacceptable- for you and for your kids. Good luck bud... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Mr. E,

Do you want to try to salvage your M and help your sanity ?

Do plan B unless if you don't want WW or M no more.

Why ?. This hurt is a huge -LU$ and keep doing this you will end up hating her. I talked to OMexW for 2.5 years and finaly she is able to say no mas. (no more). We all have different tolerance level of pain. Even a dog will run away or bite you back if you hurt the dog far enough.

You know, they kick you and you just come running back wagging your tail? When that threshold is cross you will automatically protect yourself (unless you have emotional disorder).

Do totaly dark plan B.

-rh-

Thanks for the kind words. This site really helps.
Josie, you are right things were going so well. I'm down but not out. I WILL be okay no matter what. I to question her motives. Is it A) a cover up of an A that has gotten out of hand B) she wants to leave him alone but because of an addiciton she keeps going back C) she is totally losing her mind D) None of the above? To be honest I think any of those are real possibilities.
Hat, you are right at some point us dogs do bite back.

E,
Where do you live that the sheriff would just waive an order without finding out if there could still be a danger there- it would never happen here- the order would stand until it expired- they are usually 3 months- was it a protection from abuse order or a non stalking order which requires a person to stay distance from the other? It just seems like you need to get tough and lay it all out for her-she will either stay or leave- but it will help you to get it out- the point needs to be made- you need to get mad- like my counselor says- it happens all at once- but when it happens look out- you can't stop it- don't let her kick you around anymore....Please. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

E,

After 6 months of doormat plan A and 6 months after plan B, I did bite back. By then I have no love left but not negative balance yet and I push for change of status (the judge granted me but w/ grace period of 3 months) . 3 months later I threw away the key to the door of reconsiliation.

Again if you still want your WW you have to plan B and go totally dark about her. If you don't want her then I suggest you keep wagging you tail until you snap.

Have you figure out why you keep wagging your tail ? It is better to find the answer to this than guessing her motives/actions.

-rh-

-rh-

Josie, we live in Mayberry. Not really but that is what my W calls it. It's pretty close.
It was a protective order for one year on OM. Violation was supposed to land him in jail for 7 months. He actually came in my W's business and chased her but good ol Mr. E happened to be in the office at the time and busted him up. Sheriff said order was still in effect for me however because W initiated contact with OM after order was in place he could not enforce it for her. As the sheriff said, how can I make him leave her alone when she won't leave him alone? I hate to say it but good point. My attorney says that is not actually the case but everytime I raise heck about something I find out more bad stuff and I'm about full up of bad right now.
As far as getting tough with her that is kind of where I was before. When I put expectations out there we were just both miserable. It's when I finally got fed up, as you are now, and told her I was backing off that she seemed to be coming around.
I'm not sure what I will do. I'm numb and tired, right now. I told her to leave me alone until I clear my head.
Funny thing is I didn't go home till late after the big news. Okay, I went to a bar to blow off steam. Just when I was walking out the door W calls. She has never done that and I mean ever. She says will you please come home. That's when I got the I love you so much I was just sparing you anymore pain letter. Anyway, the funny part was in the letter she asked if I was having an A. That's just what I need another women in my life. No offense intended.
Always remember that IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE!

E,
Is she crazy???? Why the hell would you get deeper into something w/ someone else when you have enough on your plate? Sometimes I think they are so insecure with themselves that they really do project that on us- it is amazing isn't it? Keep your chin up- just maintain for right now- until you can figure out what you need to do- when the decision needs to be made as to where to go from here- you'll know- trust me- today I feel alot better- like I said- it will take time- I also need to maintain- that is all you can do- LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOU- now- you need to worry about yourself and your kids- she 'll have to just understand that you need to put yourself first- it's not selfish- its survival!!!!!!