Hi everyone-
Finally hit my saturation point yesterday- my therapist was shocked that I could get so angry-it was definitely a shock for me too-but all this pent up anger just made me snap- but in a good way- I realized that I am the one in control- I just did not know it-After talking with my therapist , I went home- my h called from his mom's in Florida- and I went off- asked him about how he thought things were going to be when he comes home tomorrow- he said he wanted them to be better- I told him that I was no longer going to take this constant"feeling like I did something wrong attitude" with him- I told him if it did not stop- I was gone- he said i was just upset- I told him that I was thinking w/ crystal clear clarity-I lived without a man before and I could do it again- as hard as it may seem- I am a survivor-I said I didn't deserve all this pain- he agreed and stated that talking to the 21 yr old made him feel needed- but nothing happened- he told me he was so sorry- he has had so many issues that he never dealt with- it is not an excuse- but he needs to work on them- the problem is him- not me- I told him fine, then be man enough to go and get the help you need- I told him that it is unacceptable to speak to this girl anymore for whatever reason- he said he has not spoken to her- I told him that I could get a copy of the cell bills- tell me the truth- he still maintained that he told her if she needed help to contact a shrink- that it was not worth it to lose me and our daughter over and the issues he has he needs to work on- right now I feel alot better- maybe I realized that only time can change things- either for the good or bad- who knows? but if he wants to leave- I have told him that I would not stand in his way- he told me that is not what he wants- we'll see- the OW is out of my mindset- what is done is done- I cannot change it- I can only go forward and work on myself.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I am just as important in this relationship- I think sometimes we forget that- because we are so upset and overwhelmed with the situation that their feelings projest onto us and that compounds the pain we feel..

Josie, good for you. Maintain that mindset. All you can control is yourself.

E,
Thanks- hope I can keep it up- we'll see.