I'm really really angry about this. OW, that backstabbing, trailer-trash homewrecker who helped dismember my family right in front of my eyes actually had the audacity to leave a gift for my son at his B-day celebration with Mom.

Mom went ahead and gave it to him. Even told him who it was from.

I want to scream.

My son thinks it's a pretty cool gift and so far I've said nothing, done nothing.

What I want to do is go out and buy the same thing then tell Dylan to give the gift back. Then I want to send a message back to OW relaying how big an insult I actually take that to be and if she really wants to give my son a present, a great gift idea would be to get out of my wife's life so she can come back and be her Son's Mother again.

This OW tears my son's mother from him, destroys his home and family and then sends him an effing birthday gift?!?!?!

Am I wrong to be this upset?

I feel like anything I do will be a huge lovebuster and I don't wanna mess up my Plan A over some stupid OP stunt.

Gaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!

dewt

<small>[ April 15, 2004, 05:32 PM: Message edited by: dewt ]</small>

Dewt

I can fully understand you being irate, I would too, I would certainly explain to your W that you did not appreciate the gesture (without LBing), just calmly point out that you found it insulting.

(The things they do when they are in the fog) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I did point that out and pretty much used those words. The more I think about it though, the angrier I get.

dewt

Oky doky - I do understand how you must feel right now, but having been on the other side of that fence I'll tell you that they don't see one darn thing wrong with it. They don't get your pain - not one bit. In their world (and deep within the fog) it's a perfectly normal gesture for someone who is 'close' to a family member to give their child a birthday gift. Especially since they probably see the significant other as practically a family member. I know - it's sick, it's wrong, it's offensive and if they were on the recieving end they'd be ready to claw someones eyes out. That's the fog for ya. It's ALL ABOUT ME! They don't clearly see anyone elses pain or even recognize common decency most times.

When I was in that situation I could have cared less what my H thought about the OM buying our son a birthday gift because I saw it as a sweet gesture and completely appropriate, especially since the OM had been a long time friend and was so fond of our son. The fact that it was a slap in the face (AND a punch in the gut) to my H was beyond my comprehension.

If your wife ever cuts contact and successfully goes through the withdrawl period she may come to understand that better. If she doesn't - she may never 'get it'. Hopefully, either way, it isn't too confusing for your son.

The thing I don't get is that she does know. 4yrs ago, we were here because I had an affair. The hatred and anger that she felt towards my OW... if OW'd ever sent a gift... holy cow... I can't even imagine... claw eyes out? Only for starters...

Dylan does get it. She knows. She has close to 1000 posts here on MB... she knows all about what this is doing to me, and yet she continues...

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Yes, we understand your anger. But no, don't do anything about it. Anything you do is going to be using your kid as a wishbone in an unpleasant situation.

In the end, it's small potatoes compared with everything that's happened, and everything that's at stake now.

Wow, I can understand your anger. I found out that my WH had met his OW for lunch a couple times with the kids. It was a play area and she has two kids also, so he could play dumb. Our boys knew nothing about her this way. This infuriated me, but saying anything about it just sends them running back. Are you in plan A?

hurtnp
BS 32 WS 35
children 2S 6,3
married 7 years, together 16 years
found out EA 3-19-04
WS has never left says he doesn't want to

True enough. All I really plan on doing about it is posting. I really do know better, but sometimes it almost seems like they're playing a little game with me. I remember once after my affair my wife confided that she had fears that OW and I talked about her and laughed. At the time I was pretty taken aback that she should think that... now look at me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

hurtnp, yeah I'm in Plan A. She lives pretty far away from me and our son right now but was just here for a week long visit. While she was here we looked at apartements and actually picked one out. There has been no talk of fixing marriage, well, from her anyway. She will take one bedroom, I another and the third for the children. She hasn't given a timeline for when she will join us. She says she is just coming for our son's sake. At least that will put 4hrs between her and OW.

dewt