If Wh has given up OW & when asked where does he see his future & he replies w/ his family - when does he stop living like I'm his sister????

We never had a problem w/ SF - actually I would be happy having it everyday - but we haven't had ANY sex since 10/23/03 - just a little kissing & hand holding. Even his kisses are like pecks - only 1 really good kiss & that was 3 wks ago. I am a very sexual person and now that i went from a size 16 to a size 6 - I am really liking my body & want some attention!!!!!! Is that wrong????

When do WHs return the affection? H says that he is happy w/ me, attracted to me, finds me sexy, etc. - but he is embarrassed and ashamed of what he has done. I found a Rx for erectile dsfunction & he even looked it up on the internet - the last time w/ had SF he couldn't reach climax - he said it was because he was sick - but I took it as she was on his mind. Do any of you have advise? I have been very patient & am always telling him that he has a beautiful body (he's a body builder & it is awesome), that he makes my heart skip beats still after 12 yrs together. What more can I do? Or is he still dwelling on her? Or could it be what he actually said??

Unless you have a reason to doubt him, believe him when he says he's embarrassed and guilt ridden. The only other thing I can think of is maybe he's still in withdrawal - could that be it?


Regardless, he's saying he chooses his family (and you). TELL him you're dying of lust. TELL HIM that's a big fat gift he could give you to help reassure you he wants the M to succeed. TELL HIM that no SF does not a healthy happy M make.

If he still pleads inability to perform due to guilt, maybe y'all could go online and pick out some "toys" together and he could use them on you. That way he could give you pleasure without feeling pressured to perform.

My Self magazine has an article about rejuvating sex life & one of the suggestions was to lie in bed & touch each other for 1 hr w/ out intercourse - relearn your bodies - but he will not even kiss me. We get to bed & he says he is so tired, which I believe & then pretends to be asleep. Even his goodnight kisses are pecks - How can I get him past this problem????

most important thing is to keep communicating!!!

i agree with td, ask him to just give you pleasure. that is actually how H and I started back down the path of SF. H just flat out said, he was feeling physically uncomfortable and would i mind helping him get relief (H has never been one to masterbate and boy am I glad about that now!!!) it has progressed from there.