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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 303
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 303 |
One of the posts today talked about serial adulterers and it really scared me. Does anyone know what are the characteristics of a serial adulterer? My FWH has had 2 As... the second one began three months after the first one ended. Both were trainees in his office. Both were in their early twenties. He fogged them the same way. I am begining to wonder.
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,474
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,474 |
How about this for a start: "You aren't committed to the M." and "It's all up to you. You're the one who has to forgive me."
In other words, it's YOUR problem that you are having such a hard time getting over the A, rather than -- what am I doing cheating on my W?
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,733
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,733 |
Ruffled,
Read Private Lies by Frank Pittman. I am not at home currently I can't look it up for you. He talked about philanderer and the battle of the sexes.
The key for you is addressing the issues in M that lead to his A, his and yours. Follow the 4 gifts of love ENs (care), avoid LB (protect), spend time and radical honesty. Most "normal" people who don't have unresolve emotional baggages would react positively. Otherwise you start to look deeper into his personal history.
-rh-
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
A serial adulterer is someone who does it again and again. He does this as a WAY OF LIFE, rather than an aberration of character.
If my H committed adultery again, I would consider the marriage over because I would know it was NOT an aberration of character but a way of life. I would never be safe with such a person.
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